where the fook is castellon?

2007-02-14T14:20:00.001+01:00

FAT FACE DIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (more about him later, twat flap)

I’m so sorry for not writing more often and that is why these blogs are so long but I’ve been soooooooooo busy at work and I’ve got my report to write and I’m in the process of moving to Italy. So Friday, managed to skive the afternoon off work as Leanne and Cody were coming, but by the time I got to the bus stop I’d just missed a bus so had to wait half an hour for the next one, then when the bus did come, I got on it, but didn’t know it had changed its route so it took me all the way to the other side of town, so by the time I had walked from there and got into my house, I only had half an hour extra free, so lesson learned, do not skive and lie at work!

So went home and tried cleaning the house, but smelly arse came so I couldn’t do it for ages. When he eventually left I managed to scrub it from top to bottom, and he must be the filthiest person I have had the unpleasure to meet as I had only cleaned it the day before and the water was black filthy. He is a dirty scruffy tramp.

Anyway legs it down to the coach station; Cody and Leanne were nowhere to be seen. So I phoned them and Cody was like yeah we are still on the coach, Leanne doesn’t recognise where we are. I’m so gullible, I always believe stuff like that, but that’s because I honestly never believe people lie to me, it takes a while to twig on you see ;-p So very funny and hilarious they jumped out from behind (Cody likes it from behind!) I screamed like a girl in front of well-fit policemen L

So we had to go to the old English court there as I hadn’t had time to get food in. We ended up buying our alcohol supplies and because they had brought their bags I had to carry the 4 bottles of 2-litre coke that we had bought. They was well heavy too, but I struggled on regardless without complaint. As we was walking though, I swear I saw fat face driving his car, didn’t let on though so I thought it mustn’t be…

We nearly got to my house and I was thinking thank fook (Leona stop using the word fook on you’re my space and other profiles that you have please oh and also skidaddle and if you use the word twat flap, I’m afraid I’m going to have to sue as it is my trademark and I know how much you have in your ISA mwahahahaha!)anyway I was thinking than fick I’m near my house as I can put these heavy as fook bottles down and as I was thinking this daydreaming and looking at the clouds, etc, I wasn’t watching (stop laughing Cody and Leanne) where I was going, so I kind of stepped into a little pot hole that was dangerously in the pavement. Well, my knee and ankle bent different ways and because I was carrying the coke bottles on my front they kind of weighed me down so I did a kind of aeroplane landing impression with my arms out like wings my head pointing towards the floor, and I must have looked a right tit cos I was doing that but running for ages as well, then I managed to get my balance and stand up, but then I just smacked on the floor. I kind of looked around all dazed as it really knocked me for 6. Cody and Leanne restrained themselves from laughing until I gave them my blessing to. They both said I looked a right nob but the funniest thing was my face. I kind of sat on the floor, looking round with confusion mouth wide open, eyes in disbelief like I had no idea how I had got there. I was slightly dazed and confused though, I did just twat my head off the pavement. Although writing this now, I find it so funny, I really wish I could have seen it from their point of view. I was absolutely mortified at the time that they, out of all the people (if it was Caroline, she no way would have laughed) to have seen it, it had to be them two. Although I’m glad I had someone with me as if that would have happened on my own, I would have had no one to scurry away in embarrassment with L It was fookin hilarious, although from my bruising Cody said that I have burst a blood vessel as I have a big lump on my palm. Cody is a bit of a wannabe doctor though as he also diagnosed me with scabies, more about that later! So we went home I fed Leanne as me and Cody were not hungry and we dranked and skidaddled on down to Raspa bar. Unfortunately the really really fit bar man I’m in love with wasn’t there, but we was going there for Cody really as he likes that type of music. I also made friends with my first Spanish cat, it followed us for like 20 mins, (well I say us, it was only really me, it was so sweet, no collar so if I wasn’t leaving in 2 weeks, I well would have had that cat)

Anyway, had an alright time there and this was when Cody diagnosed me with scabies. Leanne thinks its eczema, basically I have really dry skin on my hands that has been bleeding. I’ll go pharmacist tonight and seek professional help, just to put my mind at rest. Anyway Cody wanted to go somewhere and dance so I took him to Ettro, he doesn’t like this club, but like I say, you have to see the positives, its free, its cheap and its open until half 7 in the morning, and its 2 minutes away from my house, what more do you want? And you do get used to the music after a while and you actually look forward to all the fat man scoop that they play (lift your leg up, everybody dance now) but we ended up going at like 5 in the morning as we were supposed to be going to Valencia the next day.

Well Valencia didn’t happen as we didn’t actually get to the train station until like half four and the next train wasn’t until 5:25, although whilst we were there, I bought my train ticket for Barcelona for when I go to Italy. Ah, that was quite tear inducing L although after the shoddy treatment off the likes of fat face, Italy-bring it on! On the way to the train station Leanne went arse over tit! It wasn’t as funny or undignified as me falling she only slipped and fell one leg stretched out in front of her and the other leg she had fallen on her knee, but managed to grab on to me when she fell, so even though it was quite funny I bet my fall was the funniest they have seen in their entire lives, lol!

We ended up nipping into El Corte Inglés and I can’t quite remember why though, but Leanne decided to print some photos off using the little machine thing. Well she only went and broke it didn’t she. We asked for some assistance and the lady took her memory card and disappeared for half an hour and we faffed about for ages in there. I would say all in all we was in there for half an hour. Eventually we got Leannes fotos printed and then dandered on all the way through Parque Ribalta, until Leanne realised that the woman had not given her memory card back… so we traipsed all the way back and the people in Corte Inglés are so rude, we were blatantly waiting and there was some woman (who appeared to be the manager, way to go to set a good example) who was just chatting away to her friend! Like how rude! In the end we eventually got the memory card back. In the end we eventually got to Plaza Santa Clara to tomar algo. So anyway we was tomaring algo when I seen Sergio’s little brother walk past. He is friends with fat face. The whole of Fat faces friends were there and let on to me but fat face didn’t. I’m not actually sure if ha was there, but I’m sure I saw someone who resembled him from behind-not letting on to me, I really should change his name to twat face!

Anyway as we was leaving we walked past a Kodak shop so Cody wanted to print his pictures there. Then Leanne decided she wanted one of tem 2 blown up, then we eventually left. Nearly got to my house, when Leanne realised that her purse wasn’t in her bag… So we had to run all the way back to the shop, luckily for her it was still there.

Wanted to make them a shepherd’s pie went to the supermarket but they didn’t have any mince left. We had to make do with buying burgers to separate the meat and make it into mince. We didn’t end up eating til like midnight or something, and Cody didn’t peel enough potatoes so it had to be spread very thinly. I was absolutely knackered after the pressure of entertaining and cooking a meal and thought I would have a little sleep whilst Leanne and Cody were getting ready… Big mistake, as then I didn’t want to wake up ever! So we eventually toddled out straight to Ettro at like half 2 in the morning.

I’m actually mortified about this now, that’s why it has taken so long for me to write this entry, painful, embarrassing memories, but I blame Leanne and Cody a little bit as they should have actually, physically restrained me, but fat face didn’t come for ages and in this time I actually drank myself silly. I’m not sure when he arrived, but I eventually spotted him, I know for a fact that he saw me but he never bothered to come and say hello. Then I see him flirting with some girl on the stairs in front of full view of everyone. I turned my back to this as I would not let him have the satisfaction of him seeing me flirting away.

Anyhoo, these two lads came over to talk to me and Verity, I honestly can’t remember what they looked like, Leanne said they were full beasts, but I think we’ve all established that if I go for people with huge heads then I don’t really have that much taste, lol! Anyhoo, when I get drunk I always get a bit touchy-feely so I was touchy-feely with them and fat face seen and he was not at all happy, him and all his friends kept looking over and pointing and fatty looked a bit pissed off. I kept going toilet like every 10 seconds, but whenever I drink I always go toilet, although no one believes me, Leanne and Cody well think I was doing it to walk past fatty but I didn’t really wanna walk past him in the state I was in, but I would rather not wet myself in front of anyone either. Anyway I seen fatty about to leave so I eventually went to speak to him. He was like I’m off home, I’m going to sleep, like I’m bothered, you wasn’t coming here with me anyway. Anyway we was chatting a bit then Leanne come over and took a picture of fatty, he will regret that til the day he dies as now Cody is going to put Mr. Bean in a sexual pose with fatty hopefully. So that will get shown to as many peeps as possible before I leave in 2 weeks.

Anyway, I fully followed him out to the butty shop, this is where I embarrassed myself, I just waffled away to myself about random shit, Cody said I was being a bit aggressive, but that was because Cody had a wank and cum all over my shower and he was moaning all night about how I fed him dead animal as the gravy wasn’t vegetarian, get over it, what a hypocrite, you drink wine that isn’t vegetarian. Anyway, Fatty called Cody a faggot, so Cody was like what did you just say? And then fat face was like oh no I called my friend a faggot, likely story, and he told my friend Verity that even though she speaks really good Spanish he doesn’t like her! Although she did go up to him and called him a bastard, but that is because he is.

And I kept standing there going on in English about how he is a brief wearing bender and he was eating oranges in my kitchen naked and how he really isn’t all that big, despite what I told him. And about the time that he moaned because I took up all the room in my bed, but that is because I had to, his head took up all the pillow space.

And fatty’s friends asked if they could come and stay at my house when I’m in England, so I was like yeah, and they seemed shocked, not arsed, if they wanna come, they can come, really doesn’t bother me, so we shall see come next September shall we… It would be absolutely hilarious if they came!

Eventually get home and Cody and Leanne said I looked like a proper keeno. I’m so embarrassed and ashamed of myself. Next week I will apologise for my drunken behaviour just the bit where I was being aggressive and embarrassing though, nothing else, wish fatty a nice life and leave it at that. I dunno who on earth he thinks he is at all, there was no at all reason to ignore me at all, a hello would have been nice. What a twat, that has seriously put me off him.

Anyway, Leanne and Cody got off to Madrid ok, I’m gonna actually miss not being in the same country as Leanne. Even though we are 5 and a half hours away, and it seems ages away, but in comparison to me being in a different country L Anyway, me and Leanne are going to live together next year so hopefully we will have a scrotum sack full of laughter.

Leona phoned me the next day and was giving me advice as she is now loved up with a silver van man, and she basically said, fat face has had his wicked way by doing you and so now I need to go out and do someone else, but I don’t know exactly what she wants me to “do” with someone else…

Random Word of the Day: chocho = pussy! (not the cat variety)

Total word count of the day: 2528 words

2007-02-05T14:19:00.000+01:00

Nothing much really going on at the moment, I haven't really left the house, and I've been trying to get my year abroad report done.

I've booked my flights for Italy. fook I'm shitting myself. I was never scared about going to Spain, but I'm fickin pooping my pants at the thought of Italy, and I'm actually glad I've got Sarah there.

Leanne and Cody are coming to visit me this weekend!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! They sound like they are having a ball over there together. I wish I was near someone who is up for the craic like that. Like even though I've got Caroline, she never gets drunk or seems to realx when we are out, so I always get drunk on my own :-(

I dunno whether I told you I was friends with Ramon again, well I seen him out on Saturday, he nodded his head at me but didn't speak, and he was with girls who were slightly flirty, and he was pointing me out to his friend or whoever he was with and it was all wink, wink, nudge, nudge, say no more.

Saw fatface on saturday, he came back to mine but he was really quiet the next day, and he shouted at me cos I was taking up a load of room in the bed, but I'm sorry, his head was taking up all of the room on my pillow, where else was I meant to go?????? Anyway at 4 he had to rush off "family meal" so a few hours after he left I txt him saying that I'd had a really good time and does he want to come round and, well, basically shag me again. He hasn't replied. So now I'm really paranoid, I mean it's not like I wanna marry the guy, I just wanna shag him, so hopefully he isn't a gay in disguise and is only shagging me out of a necessity to put his friends off the scent........hopefully............

Also, once again Verity rocks!!!!!!!! Although she did break a glass in my house, I wasn't arsed though, as you can see I've broken a thousand things in my house, she keeps trying to give me money for it though thats quite sweet.

Also, I really cannot mention any names or details as both parties concerned would absolutely kill me (well, not really, I could well have them in a fight, but you know, it was metaphorical for the affetc ; p)Anyway everybody just spills the most embarrassing intimat secrets about themselves and other people, I wish I could publish what I know but seriously. Anyway they are some of the funniest things I have ever heard in my life. And there is one person that I'm surprised is able to get themselves out of bed everyday, they are a walking, talking embararassment!!!!! We still love this peroson though. Sorry that is so vague, its just that I'm still laughing today, and now people think I'm weird- whats new!

Nothing much else to report, I've a feeling these passing weeks will be v. quiet whilst I'm preparing to leave.

Ciao ragazzi!!!!!!!!!!!

2007-01-29T14:22:00.000+01:00

Oh and I did say that I would put photo's on but I have to do it one by one individually and I can't be arsed at the minute, when I have time I will defo put them on, brighten this page up a bit!

2007-01-29T14:19:00.000+01:00

Sorry I haven’t written for a while, I’ve been snowed under at work, I shouldn’t even really be writing this now, but what the hey, I know you need your daily fix! I’ve just got to mention that the entry I wrote about Paris, I made it out to be really bad but I did enjoy it, not as much as Rome though, but Leona could never compete with Rome as the place was full of fit men, there was only one I seen who had glasses that was a minger. Although I did only enjoy Paris as I got to see Leona, and she was an absolute star, when we was rushing to the airport I didn’t have time to post my postcards so she did it for me and they arrived on Wednesday, which was pretty quick. No seriously that last post was a private joke between us, so I hope she got it, as she hasn’t been e-mailing me back….

Anyway, not been up to much, been trying to get this report done, so been doing my grammar. I’ve pretty much done it, just need to actually do the evidence for the appendices and I need to sort out the presentation of it. And I finally finished the translation about the merger, Oscar gave me feedback, he said it was really good, the grammar was spot on the only criticisms were the order of words and translating the exact meaning, but apart from that he was really pleased!

Luís still doing my head in beyond belief. Me and Sonia argued a little bit as I had to tell her the girl that is coming after me doesn’t want to take over my room, so she needs to find someone else. She went a bit mad because she thinks I have told her something about Luís, I haven’t but she doesn’t altogether get that if she had decided to have come, then I would need to tell her about Luís, she can’t just expect people to live with an alcoholic. People don’t want these kinds of problems and responsibilities in their lives. So she needs to look for someone else, but she will have a hard time keeping anyone in her house with his behaviour. Like on Saturday, I had just cleaned the entire house from top to bottom and then he came round pissed out of his face….. He ended up pissing on the floor instead of in the toilet and when I told him about it he only cleaned half of it up with toilet paper. So because Sonia was really Ill in the end I was the one who had to clean it with bleach. And anything he drank or ate ended up on the floor so I had to clean it as well. I was supposed to be having a friend round but decided against it. And then because they were staying at my house I knew I would have to put up with them the next day so I couldn’t really have people back.

Anyway, I’ll fast forward to the Saturday night. Met with Verity who is an English girl we met before Xmas. Caroline wasn’t coming out as she is stressed to fook about this report, but the more you stress about things the less productive you are I think. Anyway we went to her friend’s house as they were having food so I popped along, I already knew one girl there, Daisy, she is from Texas. Anyway after the food we tried going to this shisha place, but it was crowded, so we went to a German pub across the road, but none of Verity’s friends wanted to drink, they didn’t even want to drink coke, so me and Verity were slightly bored so decided to go round the corner to El Jardi, it’s a garden themed place and you sit on garden furniture, it’s a bit shit but its only 3.50€ for a rum and coke and they don’t have measures so you can get absolutely piddled!

Anyway, we was in there for like an hour and decided to go but as I was walking out fat face stopped me. He was with his usual little group and others who kept pawing me and he was so proud but not in a good way in a way like “yeah, I shagged her” kind of way, like a bit big-headed about the whole thing (big head as in metaphorical), so I was a bit put off anyway, I knew he had a bighead (as in physical) but it seemed unusually huge today, and his hair wasn’t that nice either. And his friends were leering and touching me and stuff. Anyway he asked me about my Xmas and that was it whilst his friends kept staring at my arse and saying guapa over and over again.

Anyway we all started to walk over to Ettro, but they went somewhere else so was dancing away, and later and fat face and his little cronies came in, but he didn’t speak to me all night. Then I lost them. So I was getting one of my obsessions on, but only because I thought it was the height of rudeness to not speak to me in ettro or offer to buy me a drink or anything-how rude! So this is why I had my little obsession and no other reason.

Anyway in my little mission to track fat face down, who did I go and bump into but Ramon. So I tried to ignore him but he fookin chased me upstairs didn’t he. He was like can we talk please so I was like yes, but because Verity was with me and it was just us two she didn’t have anywhere to go while he tried to have a little waffle on with himself. So he kept saying I need to speak with you in private, but in the end he started chatting away while Verity was there. I told her what he said to me and she was mad! She was like why don’t you just get away from her she is far too pretty for you to be even looking at her, let alone speaking to her, and because he was grovelling to fook he kept going yeah I know she is too pretty for me. He just basically tried to apologise and then tried to turn it round on me saying he sent me a txt saying sorry, but he so didn’t as I didn’t receive it, I got nothing but abusive txts off him. He basically said that he didn’t want to sleep with me and then not see me for weeks on end as he really likes me and that he hopes I’ll forgive him, so then I was like I’ll forgive you but only as friends and nothing more as I leave soon. So then we kind of left it but when I was dancing he was just stood there giving me evils, but seriously really really bad evils.

Then I saw fat face’s friends so I was like is it just you two alone, and they was like yeah. Fat face actually has a really nice friend, he never seems to letch over girls like the others do and he seems really, really sweet. He isn’t actually bad looking but he is a lot shorter than me. But if he was tall I would defo turn my attentions on him! Anyway I asked him where fat face was and he was like oh he went home early he has had a busy week and was travelling a lot with his job so he is really tired. But his friend didn’t look me in the eye when he said this and he was a bit shifty so I think he got fat face to lie for him and I think fat face took another girl home and that is why he didn’t say goodbye.

Anyway was chatting away to fat face’s sweet friend. I was telling him that I move to Italy soon and he was like you should go to Florence, there is a really nice cathedral there. So I was like, listen love, I’m not really going for the religion, have you seen how fit the Italian boys are, they are the most beautiful boys I’ve ever seen in my life. And then he was like no but there are lots of pretty churches in the Veneto…aww bless, he is so sweet! So I’m gonna get chatting to him more often.

Kept seeing Ramon, he tried to give me a drink, but I refused it and ignored him. I actually felt a bit bad about that as he was trying to grovel and be sincere and me and Verity was pissed so we just kept ripping the piss out of him to his face. In the end I went home-alone because there was some boy who was absolutely in love with himself, just wouldn’t have it that I wouldn’t go home with him so he kept grabbing my arm and trying to drag me to places, but he was a pussy boy and I was stronger than him! When I got home I txt Ramon to say sorry for being nasty with him when he was trying to apologise. And he txt me back saying:

That’s fine, I’m not angry with you, I only want you to understand why I did what I did, at the end I suppose the thing is that I like you and that’s why I regret what I did.

Then I txt him back saying I’m only here for a few weeks

Then he txt me saying: short time doesn’t mean we can’t have a drink (or two) think about it

Then I txt him back saying no I don’t think you understand, I leave in 4 weeks I don’t actually have time to see you

Then he txt me back saying: I know you leave in 4 weeks. You keep telling me. You see, I’d like to see you again in these 4 weeks. If in any case you feel the same, I’d be glad.

So I felt a bit sorry for him and decided to forgive him completely, I’m probably stupid, so looks like me and him are back on, and I did really miss him in the month that we were not speaking and I was hoping that he would just txt me (as there was no way I was txting him 1st)but I think he gave up a bit too easily as if he did like me, if I were him I would mither with txt messages, but he never bothered, so I don’t think he likes me as much as he says.

Then almost straight away fat face was ringing me, so I hung up on him. Then felt bad, but it was like half 7 in the morning, so I txt him asking what the fick he wanted, so he txt me back saying:

Do you want me to come to yours tomorrow to see you?

Then I txt him back saying, I’m not all that arsed (all of this is in Spanish by the way)

Then he txt me saying: I’ll come to yours at 4 in the afternoon, I’ll phone you before, sweet dreams.

Then I had to actually drag myself out of bed and started to get myself ready, when I got out of the shower I had the following message waiting for me:

Hey! Sorry but I forgot that I have a family meal to go to and then later I’m going to watch the football. Shall we leave it for another day, its better, kisses my gorgeous1

So what do you all think of that. Forgot he had a family meal? My eye. His family don’t live in Castellón, so I think he was up to something, so I look forward to all of your feedback when I e–mail you all individually. I think he was with another girl, how on earth do you forget you have a family meal to go to, so I need to be all breezy and like whatever, the next time I see him, me thinks. How dare he! Seriously, I can’t wait to get to Italy now, the boys here just mess me around, I’ve never known anything like it.

So I spent all day pissed off because of him. Anyhoo, nothing much else to report except- VERITY ROCKS!!!!!

Also just been outside for a smokypoos and I saw a wasp pumping away its back end on a car, does this mean it was having sex? Wasp sex would be a very interesting topic of conversation!

Random word of the day: callos = tripe (what fat face was speaking to me)

Total word count of the day: 2155 words

2007-01-24T14:25:00.000+01:00

I waffled on so much yesterday; I will try to keep it short. When I got home from Paris, Sonia was in a mood, so I knew straight away that she had had an argument with Luís. I eventually got it out of her what it was about. She had taken Luís to her auntie’s house in the country and her auntie I might mention is an elderly lady. Well, apparently he didn’t behave well, he had been drinking so he turned up pissed out of his face, add to that that he never has a shower, he would have made a great impression. So I dunno exactly what he did, but Sonia said he didn’t behave very well and that her auntie went mad and said never to bring him to my house again, etc. So, I think Sonia went mad at him for it and he told her it was all her fault because she didn’t look after him properly. So we went through the whole rigmarole of this is it, and I don’t want to see him again, etc. So I was thinking she meant it this time. But oh no, on Monday she tells me that they are friends now she is going to sleep at his house on tuesday. So I’m really mad with her now, when is she going to open her eyes, that he is a complete twat and a waste of time? And I’ve noticed a pattern emerging. Every time Sonia doesn’t have the money to buy his alcohol, that is when he shouts and goes mad at her. I was actually really worried about the girl who comes after me taking over my house, as she definitely wouldn’t put up with it, and after a week she would move out. But thankfully, she has found somewhere else to live without me even having to say anything. As Sonia doesn’t realise that it is her decision to spend time with an alcoholic and drug addict, it isn’t ours and she can say what she wants but do you think that it is acceptable for me to have to put up with him getting coked out of his face on a Wednesday?

Also I don’t know whether I have already mentioned, but on Wednesday last week, I came home and I noticed Luís’s phone just lying around. There was no one at home, so I know I shouldn’t have, but I went through and read his messages. As it turns out, Sonia is not the only girl he has, so when he does stuff like just get off and leave her randomly, I’m pretty sure that’s where he goes. Also he claims to have no money, but he has money to spend on Prostitutes. I’m in two minds whether I should say something or not. Although, I’ve decided it’s best not to say something, and my reasons are 3-fold:

1. She will be more mad at me for reading his messages
2. She will never leave him as she is that desperate for a man she will take anything
3. He will lie his way out of things and she will believe him and be mad at me

So I have decided to keep shut. She will find out eventually, but even then she will not leave him; she will probably stay with him and forgive him. I do not understand how she can be so desperate for a man she will take the unwashed, unemployed, drug addict and alcoholic. When will she open her eyes? It really is frustrating me, so maybe it will shock her when she can’t find anyone to live with and she has to get two jobs again just to pay the rent. As since Petra wisely decided not to come here no more, she is going to fond it really difficult to find someone who will be willing to put up with him. Even then she won’t kick him out, he will take over her house and it will stink and be a mess forever. She keeps saying he is going in March he only works in the summer months, as he is a man of the mountains and when he is in the mountains he doesn’t drink, but I’ve been hearing this every week since she has known him, and he never ever leaves. So I will have to have yet another word with her about him, and explain that even though this is her house, it is her decision to spend time with someone who has a lot of problems. Like if I had known that this was going to go on for such a long time, I would have moved a long long time ago, but she kept promising me that he wouldn’t be coming here no more.

And, I’m going to have a huge big waffle now. The Spanish justice system and government is corrupt. There is a guy here called Farraquito (I’m not entirely sure how that is spelt) Anyway, he is like a famous flamenco dancer or singer, I’m not sure, but the majority of flamenco dancers or singers are gypsies. Anyway, I digress; he was driving a car when he doesn’t have a licence, without insurance, he was also drunk and speeding, drove through a red light, killed a man and didn’t bother to stop. He only got 3 years in prison. That is really bad, but the story of how he only got 3 years in prison is even worse. The police were originally investigating him for drugs or something along those lines (excuse the pun!) and they had bugged his phone and they heard a policeman having a conversation telling him to blame his little brother for the hit and run as he is 16 nothing at all will happen to him, he won’t even have a criminal record. So his little brother went in and blamed it all on himself so the police obviously didn’t do anything as the legal age to prosecute in Spain is 18. It was only when they heard this phone conversation that they realised what had happened. But somehow this got leaked out to the press as it always does, so it was actually the press and the media that started asking questions and campaigned for criminal charges to be brought against him. He eventually went to court and managed to pay his way out of prison, he paid 100,000 to the widow, and goodness knows what other amount he had to pay to the government, hence the reason for no sentence, because he is rich he was able to pay his way out.

Then the widow appealed, as she quite rightly said, how can she explain to her two small children that the man that ruthlessly killed their father is free lap it up in the life of luxury? Always seen going to parties always on the telly, earning copious amounts of money from selling drugs and singing or dancing like a puff or whatever he does. How can she protect them from any further damage by allowing them to know that there was no justice for their father who was quite rightly minding his own business crossing the road-with a green man, and the arrogant pisshead that killed him didn’t even have the guts to stop and help him? When asked at his trial why he didn’t stop and help him, Farraquito said that he didn’t even know that he had knocked over a killed a man. That is a pile of shite. Had he not known that he had knocked over a man, then surely he would not have asked his little brother to lie for him, or involved a policeman to give him “legal advice”. Had he not knocked over a man then surely there would be no damage to his car. As I would imagine that if he was speeding there would have been an almighty bang as the mans skull smashed against the bonnet, leaving a huge dent. But they seemed to accept his explanation at his trial and never questioned him on the above points. So when it came to the verdict at the appeal, he was yet again ordered to pay more money and this time he had his passport removed so that he could not leave the country for like three years. Big wowza. I suppose that brought great comfort to the mans two small children knowing the punishment for their fathers murderer was that he couldn’t go on holiday for 3 years aww diddums.

So again the widow rightly appealed but this time took it to the Spanish Supreme Court. In the end they decided to give him 3 years for driving without a licence, without insurance, driving under the influence of alcohol, speeding, failing to stop at a red light, manslaughter, failing to stop at the scene of an accident, failing to report an accident and perjury. And he only got 3 years maximum for that, as the judge said that since he didn’t realise he had knocked someone over, the whole thing was one big misunderstanding. If he behaves well he will be released within a year. How absolutely disgusting is that? And, originally they were not even going to give him anything or make him pay any money because he is famous! It was only when the media campaigned and protested that something was eventually done.

And what got my back up even more was that I heard that a man in England made his dog obese and he was sent to prison for that! How topsy-turvy.

People don’t realise how lucky they are to be living in England, they really don’t. Like there might be no sunshine constantly, like there is here, but at least if a famous person in England did that, they would be looking at a hefty prison sentence, hopefully….

Right my judgemental waffle over now. It’s just that this has been in the news constantly and it’s really pissing me off.

Right, on to more positive happy things, I’m putting on my photos as promised!

Random word of the day: crápula = drunkenness!

Total word count of the day: 1705 words

2007-01-23T14:31:00.000+01:00

Right peeps, where to starts with Paris? Leona, this is all going in my blog. Well was supposed to meet my friends boyfriend at half 5 por la mañana for him to take me to the airport, but I didn’t actually wake up until 5:20. It was my own fault as once again, I left my packing til the early hours of the morning, and then I sat down for five seconds in the living room, and then couldn’t be arsed to actually go to bed. So I had to txt her boyf quick sharp, but he told me not to worry, to take my time… Anyway I ended up meeting him at 6:15, which actually is a better time because then I get to check in at about half 7, an hour before my flight which is respectable I suppose.

Anyway at the check in desk the fit lad that I seen the other day when I went to Rome (who was well staring at me!) wasn’t there, aww. Recently, I dunno what is up with me but I keep beepin in security, I beeped both times coming to and from Rome and I beeped both times coming to and from Paris! I think I’m filled with electricity you see, cos I can’t touch metal things :-( Anyway, get my flight ok, and Vueling airlines, not too shabby for Laura, they showed friends and the Simpsons (and extreme sports, but you know, they gotta have something for everyone) with the choice of English or Spanish, so I watched friends in Spanish and the Simpsons in English, only because I can understand friends in Spanish but not the simpsons, I don’t think the translations are any good. Anyway I arrive at Charles de Gaulle (or however it is spelt) and this airport is terrible. It is soooo confusing. Its full of like domes and plastic tunnels, I felt like a hamster, scuttling through all them tunnels, and the floor wasn’t solid, it was made of spongy stuff, so it really was quite disorientating. Anyway when I first got off the plane I needed the toilet, so I went but then couldn’t find the luggage carousel and since I went to piss there was no one from my flight around and for the life of me I could not find it. I eventually found a random woman that spoke English and she was like I know I’ve been coming to this airport for years and I still don’t know my way around. Ended up having to walk for about half an hour to where my suitcase was, and you would have thought that in this time my suitcase would have been there but no one’s had arrived-shabby treatment from the French I have to say. Eventually gets my suitcase (on a sloping carousel so that they all fell off instead of going round- I do not understand this airport, why? WHY?) Anyway, unlike Paul Leona wasn’t making the effort to come and meet me, but she reluctantly gave me directions I suppose, so I should be grateful. Anyway the directions she gave me were wrong, she gave me directions for terminal 3 I was in terminal 1. This airport is massive, I am tiny, and as the Americans would say, “you do the math.”

Anyway, decided not to panic, as Leona had mentioned that they speak English in the airport. Like the directions this was a lie. I was asking and asking but no one spoke English, Spanish or Italian. Everybody has said well this is normal, you were in France, but, come one, a big international airport like that there should be more than the one person that I found that speaks English. I know as us English and Americans are ignorant and we don’t bother to learn languages, well I do, but on the whole no one learns them as they expect that the whole world speaks English. Well shocker people, they don’t! Anyway, I managed to find myself some sort of exit but as I got outside, there were three policemen pointing really big scary guns at some young boy. I shat myself big style, but when I realised this was a homeless boy, I decided to stay and watch.

I actually felt so sorry for him. Homelessness seems to be a big problem in France, in Spain and Italy as well, but not on the same level. Homeless people in our country do not know they are born. Seriously. I know that sounds harsh but there really is no excuse to be homeless in England, we have charities and the Salvo Army, the big issue and places they can go; they just don’t want to as it means they would have to stop drinking or taking drugs. In other European countries there is nothing at all like this, and there is no kind of Social Security, so if you end up being homeless you are fooked. It really is heartbreaking :-(

Anyway, I phoned Leona who had gone into work on the day that I was coming, she told me she would go into work and then tell them she is ill so that they send her home, I had a feeling this would all go balls up. She told me I needed to get off at gare du nord and that she would meet me by the main exit. Again this was a lie, well that is where I got off, but it wasn’t even called gare du nord. Its called Paris nord and I only found this out as I had a feeling I was in the right place as it looked like a huge train station, so I said “gare du nord” and they were pointing for me to get off. By the skin of my teeth. I hope you are reading this Leona as now you might realise that while you were swanning about in your work with the office opposite Jacque Chirac on the champs elyseé thinking you are posh, who is the diva now bitch! I was having no picnic with my journey into Paris.

I gets in the train station, and I kept asking people for the exit, but as no one spoke English, they just kept taking me to trains. I didn’t fickin want trains; I wanted to get the hell out of there. I really dunno what is up with the French as this wasn’t just a train station, it was a shopping centre with restaurants and shops and stuff, but also it doubled up as a maze. Tried phoning Leona, was not impressed with the little madam, she decided not to answer her phone, I only had one bar of phone battery left, so I had to quick sharp write her number down so I could use a phone box. But oh no, you can’t put coins in a phone box in France you have to buy a phone card, so where the fick do you get phone cards from. To this day I still have no idea. Anyway, I started my long, long wait. I went and got something to eat, and I hate sitting in places by myself eating, but recently it hasn’t bothered me if I have needed to go to a café whilst I’m out shopping or whatever. Anyway I sent a couple of really abusive txts to Leona as by this time it was like half one and I had arrived in Paris at half ten in the morning so she should have been out of work by this time. I was getting really angry with her. Eventually I phoned her and she was like “I’m in the station now, I’m trying to find you” But I had no fickin idea where on earth I was, all I knew was I was near some doors and in a café.

She eventually found me chain smoking (through stress you understand) and I really did try to be mad with her, and I have no idea why but I wanted to smile when I seen her, so I had to look away. The cow. She should have just let me be angry. Anyway as a “treat” she paid for me to get a taxi to her house “ooh-big deal”. Got to her house, I felt my eyes dropping so she said I could sleep whilst she was doing her washing and a bit of shopping. I eventually slept for like 2 or 3 hours, I needed it though since I had very little sleep the night before.

After eating, showering and being introduced to everyone we went out, as she wanted to show me the Eiffel Tower glittering at night. Ooh big deal Leona, Paul showed me the Pope, a glittery Eiffel tower means nothing to me. Nothing. It actually stopped glittering by the time we got there (more false promises, Leona?) Then we went for a walk along the Seine (sounds very romantic doesn’t it, but I assure you there is only one dirty lezza, and that is not me, and also Paris defo is not the city of love) and we went to see the tunnel where Princess Diana died. But whilst we were walking there, we seen a man on some steps to the subway. Didn’t think anything of it, but then we noticed he was doing a very bad thing that will make him go blind if he does it too much. Basically this guy was wearing a woolly jumper, without trousers or boxers but with trainers and socks. So what I wanna know is, did he leave his house dressed like this or did he get, like changed in a phone box-like Superman? Also he was having a good old wank with himself there. (Can I just say, as I was writing this, the word wank has been underlined in red, so out of curiosity I went to the spell checker to see what the other options were, and number 1 was wink. I really wish he would have been winking at me L) Ergh, horrible, horrible little man. I would say he was in his fifties. He was grinning away and he seemed to like it the angrier we got. He also seemed to like it if we gave him eye contact. Like I know, did I really wanna look in his eyes, but I didn’t know where else to look, if I looked the opposite way I would be looking at the tunnel that Princess Diana died in, if I look to the right I’m faced with a sexual deviant, so what do I do? I honestly am completely befuddled by this. I do not know how any man can get turned on by standing on some piss stinking steps, half naked in the freezing cold at night time, waiting to wank in front of young girls. And this guy was a professional as well, as he was dead vigilant; he knew when to emerge on the steps in front of us and he knew when to hide from the group of boys that were coming towards us, but there was no where for him to have gone, without them seeing him, but they didn’t see him, so I do not have a tiny’s where he went. Also, I do hate to actually say this, but considering the man was not very tall, it was absolutely masseeve. Honestly, so maybe he was just so proud and wanted to show it to the world? Well, don’t show it me please, save it for the little boys room. I just do not understand it?

Leona found it absolutely hilarious. I, on the other hand really did not. This sort of thing happens to me all the time. I don’t know why. I don’t know what kind of image I project out there that men just think they can treat me this way, and that’s what really upsets me. I’m the only one out of any of my friends that this sort of stuff happens to. And I know I sometimes don’t exactly keep myself to myself, so maybe I do ask for it. I dunno, but he well pissed me off. Who on earth does he think he is?! And I was wishing that there would be police near by (never is when you need them)so they would arrest him, and then where would he be without his pants. And you know what, he is probably someone’s husband and he probably has daughters, that’s what pisses me off, he will be someone quite respectable. Anyway, enough about him, he has wasted enough column inches in this blog, thank you very much.

Also Paris is fooking full of American’s. This time they pissed me off by standing behind me in the queue for the crepe van and kept asking for nootolla (nutella to me and you). Their accent was winding me up to fick. Then they came over to me and Leona and asked if we spoke English, and then, they had the cheek to come and ask me and Leona what we got on our crepe (mind you own fickin business you stupid frizzy-haired camel features with twat flap features on the side, stupid fucking whore)like how rude. Imagine me going up to an old lady in Market Street with her Tesco bags and asking her what she had bought today?! So we told them and they walked off and was laughing at us. Do they not realise that they are the ones who are the laughing stock-of the whole wide world. Horrible, horrible little nasty Americans.

Anyway, Friday. Leona went to work, and left me all on my own. But the cheeky bitch. Tells me I can at least have a lie in (at least one positive thing from Paris) then when she is getting ready she only goes and puts the light on! What kind of lie in is that woman. So when she left I tried to get back to sleep but I just couldn’t properly. I was supposed to meet her for lunch but I hadn’t even got ready by 11 and I still needed to wash my hair, so I just lounged around in her room, went on the internet for a bit etc. then I got the courage to venture out. I tried to go to the Latin Quarter and I got the underground all by myself and everything, but for the life of me I couldn’t work out where the Latin Quarter actually was. I followed my map to the letter, but sadly it was not to be, so I dandered around in the Souvenir shops for pressies, but the presents there were absolute shite. Everything had the Eiffel Tower on it. There was nothing really else. And the postcards were crap too :-( Anyhow, by this time it was time to go and meet her for finishing work, she told me again she would meet me in a certain place and at a certain time, but lo and behold, Leona was no where to be seen. I had time to chain smoke and to buy a drink from the paper shop before she even thought of showing her face. All the meanwhile, Paris was rapidly losing points (although it really couldn’t compete with the 500 points that Rome got, lets have it said!)

We ended up going to the Louvre. I was actually shocked when I seen the Louvre. It was quite a modern design for its times. I sound all studious, but I’m really not. Anyway, we gets inside and we walked for absolutely ages (or so it seemed) we eventually get to the Mona Lisa, and it was this piddlin little thing. She wasn’t even smiling [;-)] and plus Leona didn’t know the history of anything (unlike Paul, he is so clever, he knew every single thing about Rome))Anyway because Leona didn’t know the history of anything, I decided to get an audio guide. Well, that was a mistake! Leona in all her life had never used an audio guide. I actually find it hard to believe. Posh Leona didn’t know how to use an audio guide and common-as-muck me knew how to use one. Well she got carried away didn’t she. She didn’t get that you typed in the numbers-only when you see number next to a painting that is written on top of a bright red set of earphones. She just kept typing in random numbers. I had to repeat myself so much with her that night, I dunno how many times I said to her, only if you see the numbers within a red symbol. In the end she got the hang of it, but I was wiped out from the whole day and the whole trip, Leona is too much hard work to have a conversation with sometimes.

Anyway we decided to go home and get a Domino’s pizza and watch a DVD so I was absolutely fooked and Leona wanted me to go outside in the cold and get a pizza. I told her to phone one as she kept going on that they delivered it right to your bedroom, etc. This again was another lie to add to the list. She foned them but for some reason she couldn’t get them to come to deliver it. I told her to ask the security guard if he could speak on the phone on her behalf, but for some reason she thought I meant get them to phone from their phones, of course they weren’t going to do that. Anyway in the end I had to be dragged out as she told me it was only 5 mins away so I asked if she minded going by herself, apparently she did. But if she had come to visit me I would have ran around after her so much and if she asked me to I would have nipped out for food by myself, just for her, but obviously she has no manners!

We eventually get to domino’s pizza and they had just literally closed. Leona was begging them for ages in French to just cook us one pizza but they kept laughing at us. They kept telling us the place across the road will do take away pizzas, so after 15 mins of them reet losers we skidaddled across the road but that place was closing. Then Leona told me the only other place is dead far away and we would be walking for miles. But then lo and behold there was another place right next to us that was open (more lies) He was a sweet enough guy. Bit flirty berty with Leona mind you. Anyway we settled down for a night of Pizza and the first series of the office! Even though Leona didn’t want to watch this in the first place, although she said you pick whichever DVD you wanna watch, you’re the guest, it’s up to you, then whenever I made a suggestion she said no, but I eventually got my own way with the office ;-) (see Leona, I told you ALL of this would go in my blog, but you clearly didn’t believe me)
Saturday we pissed about a bit in the morning watching the office when we should have been getting ready (but Martin Freeman is well fit in the office)Anyway on the Saturday we managed to see the Eiffel Tower, Notre Dame, Sacre Cour the Moulin Rouge. There was still stuff I didn’t get to see. I didn’t get to see the Trocadero Fountain, as on Saturday it started piss pouring down with rain, it was freezing and we got soaked, so I wanted to do as much things inside as possible.

The Notre Dame was amazing. But sadly outside was an old woman who was homeless, clearly not on drugs or alcohol or anything like that. We walked past her when we came out of the church and was on our way to get a mulled wine and a crepe (how selfish do I feel now) after we had had our crepe, the lady was still there. So I chucked 10 euros in. And oh my god, she was so grateful, you really do not get anyone being so grateful like this in England. So I felt really bad for her as when I gave her the money she kept shaking my hand and saying thank you, and her hands were like blocks of ice. So walked past a shop that had gloves for 4 euros and a hats for about the same. I wanted to get her a woolly hat that had diamantes on to make her pretty but Leona thought it was best to get her a plain one. We went back and oh my god she was so grateful and happy, at least her hands won’t be cold, she must feel so much better. But the thing is they won’t keep her dry for long as when the rain gets in them they will just keep her cold again. My heart really does bleed for her.

Went out for food in the Latin Quarter, and if you ever go to Paris I would defo recommend you eat there. It was so lively, full of Greek restaurants that do the plate smashing, but in the end we settled for a Mexican restaurant. The food there was really nice and it had such a good atmosphere and they had guitarists and singers that were all Spanishy and stuff, it was absolutely amazing, and I got to use my Spanish there, which I was glad of, all this French I had been hearing all weekend and not understanding a word of it. I would defo recommend this restaurant. It’s called Tampico’s and it is in the Latin Quarter in Paris. Andit was way cool, the ash trays were half a cocnut shell, how mint is that?

Then came the drama on Sunday. Me and Leona had underestimated how long it would take us to get ready and get to the airport. We got the metro and I was panickin to fick. But we decided to get a taxi from the train station to the airport as we really didn’t have time. Got to the airport with 10 mins before check in closed. But as I explained earlier the airport is a nightmare and no way was I finding my check-in desk. Leona kept asking people where it was, they kept saying downstairs, but theye didn’t tell us how to get downstairs. Eventually got there with a few minutes to spare. Then came more drama. I had liquids in my bag but they were under 100 mls. But they were saying I had to put them in plastic bags and I was like I know the airport gives them to me, but then the lady was like no you need to buy them! Daylight Robbery, it really is. So then I faffed about having to open my suitcase and then close it again.

Then they told me gate number 7. So I made my way there, left Leona at what I thought was security. Then I see on the screen that it says gate number 78. so I panicked went to look for gate number 38. Got totally lost and confused, and in the end I found someone who worked there who showed me exactly where to go. Then they had to hurry me through security as they were about to close the doors, I beeped, got frisked, had to go through one gate, and then through another. The lady had a go at me saying I was holding the plane up so I said that I got lost and didn’t know where I was supposed to be going and she was like I explained to you exactly how your boarding pass worked. But Leona can verify for me that she didn’t. and I’m not being funny, but I do know how a boarding card works, but not when I have to go through 3 different gates all with different numbers on them and no one explains this to me, so I know what to expect. Stupid cow. Anyway run on the plane and oh my god, I was so embarrassed, the air steward was well fit and I run on all red faced and upset. I apologised explained about the plastic tunnels and that I wasn’t a hamster, etc. but you could tell they were only being nice because they had to :-( and when I spoke to him in Spanish he really didn’t understand what I was saying. But this is partly because I was flustered and because my ears had popped so I actually couldn’t hear what I was saying myself.

Nevermind, I got home ok-in the end. And when I got off the plane I had a well top surprise. My friend from school, we haven’t spoken in a year, mainly because we lost touch, and mainly because all my friends from school are still slightly scally so I always feel a bit out of place with them now. Anyway, she managed to get hold of my number and it turns out that she is 8 months preggers and she is due Feb 17th. She is having a girl called Sophie, so nice normal name. But feel a bit sorry for her, her boyfriend is currently residing at her majesty’s pleasure, so she will have to give birth alone. I think her mam will prob go though, she told me that everything is ine and her and the baby are fine and that she has had a really healthy pregnancy, so I hope everything stays that way for her.

Anyway I will skiddadle as I still have so much to say but I have actually written a novel today! I hope Leona “gets” what I have just written up there as it is very tongue-in-cheek, although I still haven’t forgiven her for calling me a diva.

Random Word of the Day: Exhibicionista= flasher (the dirty bastard, I’m still mad)
Total Word count for the day: 4371 words (oops sorry)

2007-01-17T14:45:00.000+01:00

Right peeps, another epic on its way, as I haven’t written for a few days as I have been in ROME!!!!!

Well I will start on Thursday night. Got home and I was absolutely fooked I couldn’t be arsed packing, or cooking or eating, all I wanted to do was to sleep but I had too many things to be doing to be sleeping. Anyway Sonia was home, and she had broken up with Luís. I honestly thought it was for good this time, but I was so wrong (more about that later) so we chatted for ages and by ten I had still not eaten although I was starving so I made myself some rice thing that was dead quick. Then sat down instead of washing up or packing! Anyway Sonia went to bed, and there is a really good series on in Spain at the moment about a family in the 70’s. Anyway, thought I would watch that and then go pack-WRONG! I actually fell asleep and didn’t wake up til 2 in the morning, still unpacked and still not washed the pots L had to drag myself up, got packed and cleaned and everything, all I needed to do was put the last bits in like hair straighteners and toothbrush. This was at five in the morning when I had finished, and for some reason yet again I fell to sleep (narcolepsy) I didn’t end up waking up til half 7 and my flight was at 12:10, but I needed to get from my house to the train station, then from the train station to Valencia, which depending on which train you get it 1 hour- 1 ½ hours then its about half an hour on the bus from the train station in Valencia to the airport. So the check-in opened at 10 and closes forty minutes before your flight so that was 11:30 at the latest I should have got there.

Anyway, there were 3 possible trains I could have got. The 8:20 would have got me to the airport (including bus ride) for 10 when the check in opened. The next one 8:55 would have got me to the airport for half ten, and then I would have had time to wander round the shops and smoke, get something to eat, as I clearly didn’t have time for breakfast, etc. and the last one was 9:20 which would have got me to Valencia train station for half ten, but then I would still need to get the bus, but they are every half hour so I would be cutting it fine. Well I ended up defo missing the first train, so I managed to get ready in time for the middle train, which really was the best one as then I didn’t have too much time to wait in between check-in and boarding. So I phoned a taxi and then waited, it ended up coming when I had 10 minutes spare to get the middle train, and the train station is at least 15 mins away in a taxi without traffic. Fooking great, but for some reason I still thought I could do it, but no! I ended up having to get the 9:20 one, but we didn’t get into Valencia until 10:40, bearing in mind my check in closed at half 11. I ended up having to get a taxi. The taxi actually wasn’t too bad it only took 15 mins so he was a pretty decent taxi driver and we was having a good old little chat, so we were.

Anyway, gets to my check-in at 11:10 and the queue was absolutely huge, although it was full of Italian and Spanish men, so I wasn’t too bothered, it was just good to see the two nations coming together as one, and then an English girl as well! ;-) Also, Vueling Airlines check in desks are right next to Ryanair and I saw the absolutely most gorgeous boy I have ever seen in my life. And he was well staring at me as well. I fly with them when I go to Paris so hopefully he will be on. And I’m gonna ask him if he is coming with us as well! And if he says no I’ll be like well you know where I am and then wink. I know that sounds gay, and I don’t mean to say or do stuff like that, it just comes out! Lol!

Anyway I didn’t end up checking in until 11:45! And my suitcase was 5kg over but the man said he would make me a discount because I was beautiful so I only had to pay for two. I wouldn’t mind but with Ryanair you are only allowed 15kg so I don’t think 20 kg for 4 days is too bad… I think it was my shoes and toiletries. I’m sorry but I don’t have children or a boyfriend so I need something to fill the void in my life, and it is shoes and handbags! Anyway because we checked in late the flight was late, I arrived an hour later than planned. Pauli was there to meet me! That bit was mint as I hate flying on my own as people always look at you as if you are a billy no mates going on holiday on your own, so when they see me get picked up I don’t feel as much like a loser.

Rome what can I say? I absolutely loved it, although I tried not to as my mother went like three years ago and that is all she has talked about non-stop and how great it was so I wanted to play it down a bit, but no way can I. I think it was all the better with it being Paul who was there as he has lived there for five months now and has done the whole tour thing like 3 times before so he knows exactly what he is doing and what he is talking about, so it was like getting my own very private tour guide. The Friday we didn’t do much since my plane arrived late. By the time we got from Ciampino to his neighbourhood, we had to go shopping and then get something to eat, have showers and get ready to go out, etc.

So knowing what Spain is like for getting dressed up and going out (not!) I wore my skinny jeans and my t-shirt with round-toed heels-big mistake!

1) Italy is made out of cobbled streets and even though my heels were not stiletto, and quite thick they still continued to get stuck in between the cobbles so I just felt so embarrassed all the time and people were clearly laughing at me as I had to get Paul to help me lift out my shoes as there was no way I could do it myself-they were stuck fast!

2) No one at all was wearing heels. We ended up meeting one of Paul’s friends and they were all wearing jumpers and winter woollies and trainers to go drinking ;-( So I felt like a slapper especially since no one was dressed up and no one really does dress up to go out drinking, even though I wasn’t wearing anything revealing it was a t-shirt that came up to my neck.

That’s another thing about Italy as well. You really have to watch what you wear as bearing flesh is really frowned upon and really offensive to the Italians, it seriously is a bit like being stuck in the olden days, with Mussolini still at the helm of power, as still women are quite unequal and they are exceptionally racist, (although they love their black gangsta rap, which to me is a bit hypocritical) So really if you go to Italy-DO NOT BARE FLESH!!!!!

Anyway the night was pretty much quiet, although we did end up meeting a friend of ours who studies Italian with us, she is from Murcia so was speaking Spanish to her all night-instead of practicing my Italian (“~) My Italian is actually quite bad, I really struggled in Rome, so I need to start revising all of that again as I haven’t spoken Italian since like may or June time, and I only have five weeks before I leave (or fall to pieces, lets see shall we!) so it really isn’t a lot of time, Paul said I will pick it up once I get here but I’m not so sure.

Anyway, on the Saturday we had to get up early (yawn (``.)zZzZ) although Saturday was absolutely mint! We went to the coliseum. It doesn’t actually look all the big from the outside, but man alive! It is fooking huge! And it was used for naval battles as well as for fighting with animals or other gladiators. It could have seated up to something like 6000 people. And the further up your seat the lower down your social class, and the women sat in separate sections to the men and the games were completely free for any citizen! Once inside it is absolutely huge. I am actually amazed that something that was built not that long after Jesus was born (well in like 600 AD, but in the timescale of life, that is absolutely nothing) is still standing today, and you really can imagine all the things that took place. Who knew Roman ruins could be so exciting?! AND, best of all, we managed to get a Japanese tourist to take mine and Paul’s photo! I fooking love them guys, all click happy with their cameras like me! Then we went to the Pantheon, which is like the oldest church in Rome that was built around the same time as the coliseum. There is something like special about the dome that its diameter is exactly the same as the width of the building, thus being able to fit a perfect sphere inside with millimetres to spare (whoever works this out is a geek!) Also there is a hole in the roof as that was meant to bring them closer to the Roman gods (not Greek you stupid American twat flap, piss featured bitch! Slag whore slut cunt, you vaginal blood bubble melanoma horror-inducing-just by looking at your face you think you are so cultured but you are not cos mummy and daddy pays for everything, get a proper education and stop being a pussy arsed THICK BITCH! We are in Rome-which incidentally in case you didn’t know is in Italy, why on earth would they prey to greek gods or whatever, as you put it, exactly word for word. Do you not realise Greece is a separate country you evil whore slut? You whore faced bitch)(as you can see, I’m not a fan of the Americans, in fact I lost my temper several times with them over the weekend, who on earth do they think they are, and they have the shittest accent in the world %&$#* Sorry I’m going to continue this later as I am so angry, I need to go smoke!

Anyway, after that we went to the Spanish steps and the Trevi fountain. I threw a coin in so hopefully I will return to Rome and my wish will come true, I can’t tell you what it is as then it won’t come true!

There are shit loads of steps in Rome so my legs are absolutely killing me! I suppose since I am now smoking 20 a day it helps with exercise. Also it is illegal to smoke in public places in Italy so I’m a bit fooked, but I think that it is better as it might help me to stop, and they are more expensive than Spain and since I’m not working I won’t be able to afford them as readily as Spain.

On the Sunday (this is the best part!) I saw the Pope! Even though I’m not Catholic that is pretty amazing. You can’t really see on the photos as he was quite far away and my zoom didn’t zoom that far. We went into the Vatican and climbed all the way to the top. It was really disorientating though just a continuous spiral without an end I got dizzy and a bit nauseas; it was even worse coming down the stairs as I have a fear of walking down stairs! We also went to the tombs of the Popes. They have to have three security guards guarding John Paul II tomb, as everyone loved him so much they all wanna touch it and kiss it and lie down and sleep on it and stuff. And we went to the tomb of the Unknown Soldier and they have Swiss guards who are supposed to be like the queen’s guards and never move, but one (who by the way was fit as fook!) was flirting away with me!

On the Monday we went to the Vatican museums. That was pretty cool as well as I got to see the Sistine chapel. You are not supposed to take pictures, but I took the flash off my camera and there were only two guards and everyone was taking pictures and they were powerless to do anything as there was more of them than us!

And the men in Italy are seriously the fittest I have ever seen in my life! And they was all flirting, of course I only went for the security guards or the police ;-) Paul was so ashamed of me, especially since everyone thought we was boyfriend and girlfriend and they didn’t give a tiny’s as to his feelings, so that has made me wanna live in Italy, purely for the men!

Also Rome is full of Romanian gypsies. They are a horrible horrible race of people-seriously. They pickpocket tourists. I held my bag on my front like a baby on the met and kept hold of the zip walking round. I even saw someone get pick-pocketed but you can’t say anything as the mafia controls the gypsies and if you say anything then you have problems, so me and Paul had to sit there and watch people get pick-pocketed. I felt so guilty and I still do. And the Romanian gypsies really do not give a shit about their kids-at all. They only have children for financial gain. They teach them to steal so when they are still under the legal age to prosecute they know that police can’t do anything. And when they are over the legal age, they will prostitute them out. Either that or when they are really young children they will sell their children to the mafia who then in turn sell the children to paedophiles. They really are horrible little people. Headscarves and long gypsy clothes, ergh. When I was first on the met, two of them got on behind me so Paul was like watch your bag. So I was there grabbing it and I could feel them pushing around behind me bumping into me. Paul said they pretend it is busy so that they have to bang into you and then while they bang into you their hands are in your pockets. So they probably had their hands in my pockets but I didn’t feel a thing, which is the scary part, they are that good you cant feel their hands in the pockets of a thin jacket. Anyway all I had in my pockets were snotty tissues and sweet wrappers from the plane. No way would I let them take my bag, dirty thieving scum- get a real job. We are going to get this in England now Romania has become part of the EU so people watch out.

I didn’t feel sad to leave Paul this time as he only has 10 days left so its not that bad, although he has had such a terrible time there and he never phoned me once or complained he just got on with it. And his house really isn’t that nice. The bath was black when it should have been white and his house is damp and dark and he pays 400 euros. But he said it is really difficult to find anywhere to live in Rome if you are a boy as everyone wants girls and all the other one’s he saw were the same or worse but more expensive and further out from the city centre so that was the best out of the lot that he had seen. Poor Paul, I hope Germany is a lot better for him. But I think he is amazing he has got on with it and still gone out and done stuff every weekend, so well done to him. And despite the house I had a really good time in Rome. Leona really needs to go out of her way in Paris for me as Paul showed me the Pope! She needs to top that. She told me she will propose to me on the top of the Eiffel Tower on Friday night. Dirty lezza!

Also When I came home on the Sunday night Luís was there. I’ve given up. I really have. I only have 5 weeks left to put up with it I suppose L

Anyway offski’s now as I need to prepare for Paris!!!

Random word of the day: Tragasable= Sword swallower

Total word count for the day: 2912 ( I promise the entries for Paris will be a lot shorter as Leona has a computer, so hopefully I will be able to do it daily, and I will try to put photos on there too!)

2007-01-11T14:38:00.000+01:00

Well peeps, as I started writing this an argument has broken out in the office between two men Fuster and Carlos, so lets hope I get my money’s worth and see a fight! They keep saying “it’s your problem not mine” and “do you want me to repeat again” Well funny, it has actually died down now, but there will be bad feelings for a while. So we will see how the situation pans out! I love it when things like this happen in work; brightens my day right up!

Also I have to mention that my friend Vanessa from work, her boyfriend is an absolute star! Although she has been a star this week, she gave me a lift home twice in the absence of Gemma, but her boyfriend seriously is a doll. Like yesterday I waffled on about my problem of getting to the airport on time etc., well I was waffling on to Vanessa and her boyfriend about it in the car on the way home yesterday and her boyfriend said he would pick me up and take me. He hardly knows me so why on earth he would do that for me I will never know. Not going to turn that offer down though, that means I get to stay in my own bed on the Weds and pack slowly so I don’t forget stuff.

I have to remember to take Leona’s Christmas present as I really couldn’t be arsed sending it as it was too big and I was going to take it home for Xmas and give it to her then but it had disappeared, no idea where it went, but when I got back home after Christmas it was there all ready and waiting on my bed, sorry mate you missed the flight by a week. But then mysteriously when I went to go get it to put it in a safe rememberable (I know its not a word but I couldn't think of anything else more suitable you see ;-)) place, it had gone again! I think I bought her a magic present I really do, and I can’t give too much away as she reads this (she is a loyal fan UNLIKE YOU LEANNE DONNELLY AND PAUL SCOTT!!!!!)but when she sees it she might understand why it is magic and why it keeps going for wanders. I actually think the present is a bit crap now, but you know when you see something and immediately think of someone? Well, that’s why I bought the present I immediately saw Leona wetting herself, although she does laugh at thin air, so maybe I should have just bought her an empty jar.

Although I’m slightly miffed with Leona at the moment. She isn’t taking any days off work when I go to Paris so I’m only going to see her for a day as I leave really early on the Sunday morning. I know she can’t get any paid time off but take it unpaid, work through all your lunch breaks, come in an hour early and stay an hour later for the same amount of hours, that’s what I would do if she came to visit me, I would take it unpaid or I would phone in sick, so I think she should phone in sick, as I arrive at Paris airport for half 10, and originally Cody was going to pick me up from the airport, but he was supposed to have gone to Madrid on the 8th of Jan, but hasn’t so he doesn’t know whether he will be there or not. If he is there happy days if not, I will be left stranded in Paris airport from half ten in the morning until Leona finishes work which is like 7 so then lets say she gets to the airport for 8 that would be 9 and a half hours waiting time in the airport for her to finish as I don’t speak a word of French or have a tiny rats where Leona lives or how to get there and don’t have a key so what the fook am I meant to do all day with my suitcase and hand luggage.

Then what will I be doing on the Friday whilst she is at work. I’m clearly not about to go off on my jollies round Paris on my bill when I don’t have a clue where I am going, speak the language or anything. I know plenty of people go to places where they don’t know the language or where they are going, but they will have read information, got guidebooks and maps, etc and I really do not have the time to sit and study these such things, and I haven’t bothered as I presumed that Leona would be there. So really that only leaves Saturday to see her. Not much is it when she will be in taking two years for her year abroad instead of one. Then when she eventually does her final year, I’m hoping to move back to Spain and Italy, whichever one I loved the most and/or need to improve my language in. so I’m partly pissed off about that as we will only have a few days here and there to see each other, and I make the effort to come all the way to Paris when I’m seriously living on the breadline out here (well I’m not I’m actually very comfortable, I just need to save whatever money I earn for when I study in Italy as I will have no income at all then) and Leona has all this money coming in from here there and everywhere and she doesn’t take two days off for me.

So if Cody is there then great we will have a ball and we can go to the Moulin Rouge together and h can recreate his famous Moulin rouge presentation that went on for half an hour and still wasn’t finished! But if they say he has to go to Madrid immediately then he won’t be there and I will be fooked. Although I don’t think they will make him go to Madrid so soon as they only told him a few days before Xmas that he has to be in Madrid for the 8th which wasn’t really fair and plus he still has his exams to do in Paris or else he won’t get his credits for his year abroad which will have serious impacts on his degree, unless the uni at our end agrees he doesn’t have to do his exams, I dunno, but he is only missing out on an intensive course that determines his level of language, and Leanne didn’t do hers they just put her in any old class, so I’m sure if Cody explains his situation then they will do the same for him as the term doesn’t start till like February or something.

Also Sonia came home last night-without Luís, talking in riddles like how she is seeing things a lot more clearly now. Anyway I eventually got it out of her what she meant. She was of course talking about Luís. She was saying she is starting to be fed up with him now. As he came to meet her for lunch yesterday, she has two hours and normally she comes home, but he went all the way to the Grau. So they go to a really nice restaurant he says he isn’t hungry, but still orders a load of plates and makes her pay for them. He didn’t eat a single thing that he ordered, got off after an hour whilst she was still eating and left her as he said he was going to go climbing. He came back just before she was meant to back into work stinking to high heaven of alcohol. So she was really pissed off about that. She is pissed off that he never ever smiles about anything ever, he is always in a bad mood. And yesterday she had a funeral to go to, someone form work but she was quite upset, and all he was bothered about was drinking and being in a bad mood and didn’t give her any comfort at all what-so-ever so all this over these past days has pissed her off. But I hope she doesn’t sit down and talk to him about it as he always tells her sorry and that he will change and she believes him but he never does so she sits down and has another heart to heart, one big vicious cycle. She should just break it off immediately with him, once and for all, and she knows she should as well, I just wish she would actually do it.

Oh and big news of the day- Caroline has died her hair brown instead of blonde. I think it looks so much better now as the blonde she had in her hair before was too light for the brown of her original colour. I think if she is going to blonde again she should go for golden blondes and caramel blondes. Plus now she has it a nice warm brown colour so she instantly has added colour to her face, she doesn’t look as pale now. I still do though L

Oh and my telephone is working perfectly well now, I have the sound back so my ringtones don’t sound shit no more! The only thing is the charger and battery are a bit iffy, but I suppose I could live with that, the condensation made it look cheap and tacky and like I had a shit phone, but I got rid of that last night as I took my hairdryer to it, I dunno why I didn’t think of that before!

Random word of the day: suspensorio= jockstrap!

Total word count of the day: 1650 words

2007-01-11T14:32:00.000+01:00

I’ve been in a bad mood all week, and I knew why it was:
1. I was due on my period (well it’s 3 weeks late actually, but for defo I knew I wasn’t preggers so I knew it was coming soon) so had really bad PMT
2. I knew why I was three weeks late. He who be above in heaven decided it would be fun to make me have it when I’m going to Rome. I wouldn’t have minded so much in Paris as I would be with Leona, and this is really girly stuff, that I would rather not have to endure with Paul.

Also there has been a study done that says when girls live together their body clocks go in sync which is what has happened with me and Sonia, so I reckon my body was just waiting for hers and that’s why I was so late as well. What a fookin bitch. I really can’t enjoy Rome now.

Also when I got home last night Luís was in my house. And as per usual when he is there my house stinks of his unwashed smell. But he was bein a right cheeky twat, didn’t let on to me, or speak to me the whole time I was there, I wasn’t letting on to him, it’s my house, I pay the rent there not him, he just comes here for the free alcohol and food, which incidentally by the way, he ate all my food and was drinking one of my beers that Sonia had to buy me because he drank all my other beers. Also I was in a bad mood anyway, and if I want to be in a bad mood in my own house then I will be. I keep on speaking to Sonia but it goes in one ear and out of the other. So I might track down a mini fridge to put all my beer in because I really can’t afford to keep him in the alcohol. So I’m really going to have to be strict when I say it this time that if he wants to come to our house and drink, then that’s fine but I will not pay a single penny more for it.

Also I didn’t realise that my flight to Paris was at 8:30 in the morning. The first train is at 5:55 and will get me to Valencia train station at 6:53. Normally from here I take the bus, which is about 20-30 mins. But I think that at this time of the morning there will be loads of traffic, as people will be trying to get to work and also I’m not sure what times the busses are but say I get to the bus stop for 7 then say it takes 30 mins I will get to the airport with 20 mins to check in, but then I need to find my check in desk etc. So I’ve decided that it isn’t a good idea to get the bus so I need to get a taxi instead, but like I say the traffic is a problem, and also I don’t have any taxi numbers for Valencia so I would have to wait for one and say there is none at the train station at that time of the morning, I’m a little bit fooked. So I’ve been trying to find a cheap hotel, but the whole Paris thing is turning out to be expensive as now I have to find a hotel, I tried finding a youth hostel but there are no single rooms in the whole of Valencia so I would have to go into a shared dorm, which normally wouldn’t be a problem, but since I should ideally be at the airport for half six when check in opens to get the best seats etc then I would have to get up super early to ensure that I can take a taxi in time then I would be waking everyone else up and also would have to get dressed in the dark, etc.

So I need to look for a hotel that is cheap, I’ve seen a few but the thing is, I finish work at 6 in the evening then I would need to go home and pack, then I would need to get to Valencia in the first place so then I will be in Valencia really late, but the last train to Valencia is at half ten so I have like four and a half hours to get home, pack then get to the train station, so that’s not a worry, but I would arrive in Valencia at 23:37, so lets say I find a hotel close to he train station, I would be checking in at midnight to leave the hotel at six in the morning so I need something that is super cheap as I’m not paying loads for just a few hours.

I defo need to pack on the Wednesday night as I arrive back from Rome on the Monday night at 9 then will probably be back in Castellón for 11, so that in itself is going to be a worry as that is the journey that Paul did when he came, but he didn’t have a suitcase that he had to wait for in baggage claim, although his flight arrived early so I hope that mine will arrive half an hour early too as that gives me half an hour to get my baggage. And the last train is at 10:35 so hopefully I should make it L

I haven’t really planned this all that well really have I?

So I arrive back at my house no later than midnight, I will have to put all my stuff in to wash, and then get up early to hang it out to dry (times like these when I miss the good old tumble dryer, I would even risk shrinkage for this L) so I’ll give it two days to dry and then it will be lifted straight off the maiden and into my suitcase, I’m only going to unpack my clothes, stuff like my shoes and handbags and my jacket, makeup, etc will just have to stay there I’m afraid, I really do not have the ganas to unpack just to pack it all again.

I had to buy myself a scarf and gloves from El Corte Inglés for Rome and Paris, I bet in Paris it is super cold, Paul was once again indecisive about the weather in Rome, he said defiantly bring a jacket so I’m not sure if I should take warm things or not. It is no way near cold here. Its like when we get our nice warm spring days when we know that summer is coming and we can stop wearing our jackets. Was watching the news last night you see and they were saying that there is a heat wave somewhere in Spain and that people are sunbathing on the beaches and stuff. It isn’t that hot here, its just gloriously warm and I’m walking about in short sleeves with out jacket and with my ballet pumps minus socks, so you can get an idea of how warm it is here. Apparently it’s unusual and January and February are the coldest months in Spain, meant to be minus temperatures, although its about 15º at the moment but with a nice warm breeze, me and Oscar were discussing this and we think it might be something to do with el niño so correct us if we are wrong please!

Also I don’t think Paul has a computer so I will not write for a few days, although I should maybe use my travel journals for the trips to Paris and Rome as I did buy them for Italy and Spain, but I really can’t be arsed to write in them, I think I will print off my blog and just stick them in, that might be better!

I dunno I’m really worried about how I’m going to get between Rome and Paris. I should have booked the two days off work in between and then got a hotel in Valencia for two nights, that would have been so less stressful. In fact… I might just ask, although I don’t want to push my luck. The people in my office are saying I can’t have these holidays as paid because we all had two weeks off at Christmas as the whole place was shut, so that’s hardly my fault really is it. But if I can’t get these days off paid and they are unpaid then I will ask for them two days off, it’s saving them shit loads of money, well not shit loads, but you know.

I am going to go now as I think that I have waffled on for far too long about well, nothing really, although I will mention that it doesn’t feel like I’m going to Rome in less than 48 hours. I am so excited Rome is like one of THE places to visit and in total I’ve only paid 30 euros for the whole trip, that was for a return flight and my accommodation is free, so I’ve been quite lucky in that respect although can anyone tell me what on earth the deal is with having to pay a baggage fee for each bag that you check in with Ryanair, even if it is not over the limit? Daylight and robbery seem o spring to mind. Aww bless Paul said he was going to cook for me. He is working for free and only has his student loan to live off and Rome is expensive, etc, so he hasn’t really had the money to eat properly, literally everyday since he has been there he has eaten pasta with pesto as it is dirt cheap, so he just e-mailed me asking if it’s ok if we have pasta with pesto, broccoli, breaded turkey and mushrooms. I told him not to be so stupid, don’t you dare feed me fungus, I detest mushrooms, horrid little creatures they are, Ergh. I think I will treat him to some stuff in the supermarket. Like the cheapest meal I make is roasted peppers, courgette, cherry tomatoes and onions with a tomato sauce and you have instant vegetarian Bolognese, so surely he could afford something like that? I dunno, I might treat him to some actual meat, and I’m sure we could find a restaurant to go to that’s quite cheap. I told him he should get in contact with Tina’s nephew who met him once in September and then has ignored him since (I’m so gonna have words with him) as surely Tina’s nephew will know where are the best places to go for us that are cheap and good!

Anyway I told you all half an hour ago that I would go, so I’m definitely going to go now, as I should get on with some work really shouldn’t I?

Oh, P.S My phone is working perfectly now, still got condensation in the screen and it is a bit temperamental with its charging and the battery seems to be going quicker than usual and the ringtones and speaker voice are still quiet and a bit tinny but I have faith it will be working again like before, well I’m only opeful about the condensation and the sound, I think the battery will forever have a short shelf life now! Might be time to buy a new one L

Random word of the day: Con una sola pierna= one legged!
Total word count of the day: 1954

2007-01-09T14:28:00.000+01:00

I am so pissed off. I am such a loser. In fact, I’m going to go to the mountains across the road from work, find a farmer or shepherd or something and get them to brand the word loser right on my forehead so that people have advance warning of me. I’ve only gone and broke my phone. By dropping it in the world’s smallest glass of water. %H($%T$. So I shake off the excess water. And switch it on. No way was it switching on-it just kept turning itself back off, so obviously my phone was pissed off with me for this trauma, but my darling telephone, it was not entirely my fault, you just fell out of my hands L I didn’t mean it to happen and I promise I will never do anything like this again, if you just hang in there you can make it, you’re a fighter, a survivor L think of all the times I’ve dropped you on concrete from a great height and you have survived. Oh phoney, I have treated you so bad! I honestly miss not having a phone, that was one of my few lines of communication back to England you see, plus it has ALL of my telephone numbers. So I’m a bit fooked if it never works again…

Anyway, I tried to dry it as best as I could, then left it for a bit tried switching it on again, it appeared to be working, but the flash is on constantly and it vibrates non-stop and then the screen was all broken up into pieces. But I have persevered and the drier it gets the better it works-the only thing is, it will not stop vibrating. Everyone has been saying if it works fine then never mind about the vibrating. But it’s non-stop. It’s annoying. I don’t want it to vibrate. I want the phone to behave like it should. And plus, if the flash is constantly on and it never stops it’s one continuous vibration then the battery will run out in like an hour. I will wait and see what happens as Sonia was telling me Luís spilled beer (surprise, surprise) on his telephone and his didn’t work until 3 days later so I’ll give it time. At least mine was water and not beer, but I do think phones should be built to be waterproof. And the flash is probably on and it vibrates because water is a conductor of electricity don’t you know (Mr, sorry, Dr Pendleton, 1st year Science! Remember Jenny, those were the days, do you remember him being a bit of a perv though, and do you remember the seating plan, me and Lisa Delahunt asked him if we could sit with all the fit boys in our class so it was just me and her with Aaron, Darren and Michael ha ha, what on earth did we see in them?!) Anyway, I digress, so I think the excess water that is still inside the phone is making the flash go off and making it vibrate. So I’ll leave it for now me thinks, at least it is getting better so as long as it works for me to be able to take all of the phone numbers then I will be happy and just buy a new one, I’ve had this one for 1 year now, so it’s time I changed it anyway, it’s just that they are soooo behind the times with the technology over here, it really is a simpler way of life you know!

Also, supposing I was going to Rome this Friday (which I am) I suppose I really should know where my passport is, but they are so lapsidasicle with the passport control in Spain I’m wondering if I should chance it…. Better not, really I should tidy my room to look for my passport, although I would have thought since I came home last week that it would be somewhere in my proximity, but I can’t see it on my bedroom floor anywhere, so I’m at a loss as to where it is. Although I could have put it away somewhere safe, although I won’t remember where my safe places are, hence the reason I leave it all on my bedroom floor, I know exactly where everything is!

Nothing much else to report. I’ll give you regular updates on my phones progress. Pobrecito L

Random Word of the Day: Tuerto= 1 eyed!
Total word count of the day: 754 words!

2007-01-08T14:25:00.000+01:00

Sorry peeps but this is going to be an epic! Because I have not written for two weeks I will break it down to make it easier to read but I have forgotten most things so I’m sorry if it is not interesting L Its just that the computer at me mam’s house didn’t really work it was the mouse, the cursor just didn’t want to move and I got really frustrated and really lost my temper big time with it, like I know the internet is a wonderful thing, but what happened to old fashioned pen and paper, although that wasn’t without it’s problems, like when a pen ran out or the ink simply went dry just at the exact moment you needed it! Anyway, here we go!

Thursday 21st December

Went to Las Tascas, Adriano didn’t turn up, everyone told me he had disappeared and Vicente went to watch football in some other bar and was going to meet everyone after, but I couldn’t stay late as I still hadn’t done my suitcase and had to go to work the next day L Cockney boy hasn’t been around for a while. Ramon told me that he went there but I waited and I couldn’t see him so he was a bit of a twat for standing me up, it’s a good job I didn’t go there to exclusively meet him and that I was with my friends and not too bothered about him being there or not, otherwise I would have been mortified that I was waiting there for him by myself. The only one who actually turned up was them weirdo stalker people, but I managed to hide from them! Either that or they seen me hiding from them and took the hint! And since that was over two weeks ago I can’t really remember much of what happened or what I was thinking (with me, god only knows!)

Friday 22nd December

Had the best day in work ever! Had to work in the morning (booo!) but we all went out for a meal at lunchtime to celebrate Crimbo. It was actually a really nice meal, although the place we originally planned to go looked a lot nicer, we booked the table for half 1 so when we gets there they tell us that they don’t start serving food til 2 and that they haven’t even started preparing anything! WHY ON EARTH DID YOU LET US BOOK THE TABLE FOR YOU TWATS!! Honest to God, the Spanish sometimes can be so backwards in thinking forwards they really can. Anyway we went to this place called Rokelin, which is basically a ham place. We decided to order a salad, some potato things with ham and eggs (beautiful by the way!) and a few other things for starters then we were all going to have a baguette. My baguette wasn’t actually that nice I had a chicken one and for some reason they put grated carrot and cheese on it, would have been better without the grated carrot to be honest. Anyway in the afternoon we were all drinking champagne in the office in the afternoon, but not just our office, all of the other offices on this floor so it was nice that everyone was together, ahh ;-)

Got home and Luís had discharged himself out of hospital for Christmas, and surprise surprise, he was pissed as that snail that drank beer that time and fell in the glass (does anyone remember?) Yet again the house was a shit tip and once again it stunk like shit because of him. Anyway I sat down to a glass champagne with them but all of a sudden I started feeling nauseous beyond belief. So I decided to lie down for a moment as I had started shivering, I only planned for half an hour, as I had still not yet done my suitcase, I’m so lazy. In the end I ended up sleeping til two in the morning, my train was at 7:15, not much time. I don’t really pack all that well anyway, I just throw everything in, but still I do like to have time to doubly check that I haven’t forgot anything as it is always such a pain in the arse when you have to buy stuff etc. Anyway more or less had the suitcase done by 3 in the morning when Ramon started to mither me on txts by phoning me, in the end I told him to come round as I thought, oh well, I might as well shag him since I’m going to be away for a week. So he turns up and he was pissed out of his face and it really isn’t that attractive when someone else is pissed and you are not, but he was leering a bit which really made me go off him, I was actually quite repulsed by him, but what the hey, I’m sure people have felt that way about me before when I’ve been pissed so tried to ignore the little Jimeney Cricket inside my head.

Anyway, don’t want to fill your head with too many images, but was trying my best to have sex with him and he wouldn’t have it with me!!!!! I asked him what was wrong, and you know the exact words he said to me?????? “If I fuck you now, it is over between me and you because you are going away to England for a week and I don’t like to do that to girls I really like!!!” In all my life!!! Although I know I should be offended, and I really am, it’s been two weeks and I’m still fuming, I’m not altogether sure what he means. Hmm. So I kicked him out of my bed, out of my house, and out of my life!

Saturday 23rd December (a few hours after the Ramon incident!)

I had tried reserving a taxi on the Friday night, but apparently you can’t do that, so I told Caroline as soon as you get up, phone a taxi to order it for like half 6 at your house. We have never ever in the whole four months of being here had a problem with getting taxi’s but I had a feeling that when we were wanting to go home and with it being Christmas and everybody on their works do’s that we were going to have a bitch of a time getting to the train station. Well it’s not so bad for me because I can walk to the train station in 45 mins, I suppose a bit longer with my suitcases, but Caroline lives a bit further and plus she doesn’t really walk to the train station that I know of, she always wants to get a bus or a taxi so I doubt that she knew how to walk there quickly from her house. Anyway, Caroline didn’t order a taxi straight away; as she didn't want it to come and then leave without her, she waited until she was ready and then tried to order, but the phone was like engaged for half an hour non-stop or something silly like that, so then I tried phoning and they still wouldn’t answer. Caroline was in a reet panic, would not calm down. She was asking me to beg Sonia to take us, but she was still pissed out of her face and as it turned out her car was in the garage as Luís had broken something (yet again, when will she learn?) so we wasn’t getting anywhere fast really it was better that we didn’t get her to take us. In the end, Caroline phoned Sergio who was a super star and came to get us, he was actually out clubbin as well but he still came to take us bless his cottons. Anyway we got there with 10 mins to spare, I wanted to have a cig but Caroline said we didn’t have the time, although we had ten mins. I had my cig anyway as I had not smoked all morning and since I had a mountain amount of time a head of me to wait in the airports and sit on a flight I decided to have one; I can smoke one in 2 mins. Anyway in the end we managed to get our trains thanks to Sergio. And we had also been worrying as we only had 7 mins to get off the train in Barcelona station and take the train to the airport, otherwise we would have missed our flight too. In the end the train was 3 mins late so we got there with plenty of time to spare. Checked in, did last minute Xmas shopping in the duty free got flight ok etc.

Strange to have been back in England again. It was kinda like I had never been away, like everything about Spain I had imagined it, like I really didn’t have a house, job, friends and a whole new life in Spain. Really really surreal and so hard to describe to you. I also noticed how all of the women in England look rough as fook compared to the Spanish. I also found it hard to stop speaking in Spanish when I was in ice land and Clintons. Aye perdón this and aye perdón that. Gracías, lo siento lasta luego. Me da igual, I have been speaking, listening and understanding it for four months so of course it is hard for me to understand.

Ended up going out of the nighttime with Lauren and Claire and also met up with Nick, Liam and that boy who hangs around with them a lot. I enjoyed myself. Nicky kept getting mad at me as all I did was talk about Spain. Well what on earth did he expect. He knows exactly what I’m like and so should have known better. Although we had a fall out at the end of the night as Nicky took his t-shirt off, and all I said was look you have bitch tits Nicky and he went absolutely mad. Oops, but I was drunk and he does have them so it’s not like I was lying..…

Was nice to see Lauren again as we actually haven’t seen each other for months but Claire, I dunno, she was slightly distant. I haven’t actually seen her for months either though to be honest.

Sunday 24th December

Did absolutely fook all apart from nurse my hangover and lounge around in bed all day watching the soap omnibuses. I cannot believe they actually put Becca into jail. DIE JUSTIN DIE! Although when I was watching the soaps I really didn’t have a clue who was who and what on earth had been going on, so I’m gonna be fucked when I gat back next year.

Christmas Day

Crappest presents of my life so far, I went back and changed them all, except for the Oasis stop the clocks CD I got and a heart shaped pocket mirror that is covered in diamantes that I absolutely loved. But the rest of it, oh dear me. My mum got me a hideous necklace, which I can’t actually return as it, was off some internet site. I’ll go home and get the internet address so you can all see the hideousness. My sister got me a discovery channel science thing to grow my own 4-leafed clover! WHAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! How on earth am I meant to transport that from England to Spain to Italy and then back to England again, you stupid girl. I wouldn’t mind but I got her a really decent present, some Swarovski earrings, which were by no way means cheap. So I really don’t think this is a fair exchange. She is working full time and she buys me a crappy plant that I cannot even use, and I work for less than the minimum wage and I buy her decent stuff. Next year I’m so not going to bother with presents. I know I sound really ungrateful and that it’s the thought the counts, but they really do not put any thought into anything so I would rather have good stuff if they are not going to think about what I will like. Like one of the bestest presents I ever got was when my friend Pauli brought me back some Cuban sand in a Cuban shampoo bottle! So you can really see, I’m not asking for a lot.

There was also no Yorkshire puddings with the Christmas dinner this year. My mum assures me that we have never had them with Christmas dinner and that it is not traditional to have them with Christmas dinner, but I think she is wrong and I’m sure we did have them for Christmas dinner last year, so get it sorted mother! Once again, I sound spoiled but I was on my holiday and I was only in England for 1 week, so is it too much to ask for just to have some home made Yorkshire puddings???? (none of this aunt Bessie’s crap neither!)

And at the nighttime came our traditional game of Trivial Pursuit (well only for the past three years) and once again I am the reigning champion. My sister really can’t take it that I always beat her so far it is 7-0 to me. And all of this came about when we used to work together and I was going on about my mother, then was saying something like to give my mother her due, she is one of the most cleverest people I have ever known, as she is super intelligent, well going to be my phone a friend on who wants to be a millionaire! Anyway, my sister pipes up and she is like “no she isn’t I’m cleverer than mum” Well I don’t know where she got that idea from as “the girl who proclaims to know everything is indeed the biggest fool of all and the girl who proclaims to know nothing is already wise beyond her years and what she shall learn, she shall learn wisely” or something like that, but you get my drift, so this is how Trivial Pursuit came about you see my sister was overly trying to prove her point and she has failed diabolically. This year she was so bad that I even felt sorry for her, and the thought did occur to try and let her win at least one, but then why should I? She is still pig headed and still thinks she is better than me so I have to carry on with my winning streak! But this year she didn’t even get one wedge for her pie and I had mine completed in no time at all. But you see her tactics are all wrong. If there is a chance to go to a roll again square she will always go to it and will avoid answering the questions, so she just really moves backwards and forwards between two squares!

The rest of the week was pretty much just more or less going out seeing friends and going shopping, I seriously spent like £500 on new clothes, I know that sounds a lot but half of it was on new boots and jeans. And I desperately needed new jeans as I have lost two dress sizes in weight so I really couldn’t go on wearing my plus size jeans no more!

Got home ok, but man alive I’ve had t he most boring week of my life ever. Since I came back a week earlier than everyone else I actually had no one to go out with. Although on New Years Eve, I went round to Luís’s house supposedly for tea, but I wouldn’t call anything they had food, or fit for human consumption. I didn’t really enjoy it there as Luís friends are twat flaps. One of them was proper pervy and kept tickling me but to the point where he wouldn’t stop and I honestly nearly did cry, or he kept saying dirty things and he kept grabbing my boobs and at one point he actually put his head, somewhere he wishes he could put it for real, lets put it that way. I think I have spoke about him before, he is that one that came to my house and was winking at me. Anyway I didn’t have anywhere else to go as Sergio’s plans changed at the last minute and no one was meeting until after midnight.

Anyway eventually escaped to where Sergio and everyone was. I have never seen Sergio so drunk, it was hilarious. Alejandro’s girlfriend was there and she was actually quite chatty with me. So it defo is just Caroline she has a problem with. Although I understand, as I think she sees Caroline as a threat. But I actually think she is quite nice. I also saw Adriano, he was trying to talk to me but I didn’t have the time to be dealing with him to be honest. But I did notice that Adriano did have a big dirty love bite on his neck. So I’m really not impressed especially since he didn’t hear about me and Vicente. Also there was this girl who is English really really fat and almost dwarf height, she is absolutely tiny, but you can tell she has really low self esteem as she was literally just throwing herself at any boy that moved near her, and in the end her and Adriano ended up copping off, although I found this to be hilarious as he is a giant and she is tiny he had to double over just to kiss her. Also alma and Sergio had an argument as she doesn’t really drink alcohol, except mojito’s and the place we were in doesn’t do them at all so she had sneaked her own in, and she gave the glass to Sergio to hold, and then he got all giddy trying to talk to the short arse English girl, who was beyond leathered and so she knocked the drink and it smashed. Alma was understandably upset and they was arguing, but I thought this was hilarious as they were both wearing these tinsel wig things and it just looked funny. Didn’t do fuck all all week. Should have studied loads of Grammar and started my year abroad report but sat around doing fook all watching telly, and watching the fit presenter on the wheel of fortune. Ahh. At least I was practising my listening. Did that sound convincing?

Went out to my usual gathering at Las Tasca’s, and went out on Friday and got absolutely leathered. But oh my god, I saw the fittest man ever in my life, all skinhead and rippling muscles, Sergio was convinced he wanted a bit of me too, but there is no way someone like him would look twice at a loser like me, but it’s still nice to look at him though.

Also me and Sergio had a v. interesting chat about fat face. Apparently he is not mad at all about those love bites and he has been going round telling everyone (not Adriano though-shame, he should see what he has missed out on) that he really likes me and that he loved when he came round to my house. That’s all well and good saying that but if he isn’t going to txt me and stuff then it means nothing. But Sergio said that he is young and that he doesn’t really think about stuff like that. Well he should because I leave Spain in 7 weeks and two of those weekends I am in other countries, so really I only wanna have sex with him for five weeks, so I hope I haven’t got another bender who is scared of having sex all the time. Really these Mediterranean’s they talk the talk but they do not walk the walk, and they aren’t as big as the English if you get what I mean…

Didn’t go out on the Saturday night mainly as because no one else was and also Sonia had an argument with Luís. He came round bladdered as fuck nearly breaking everything, kicking off and she fed him but he drowned his food in barbecue sauce and spicy sauce spilt it everywhere just after I had cleaned shouted at her and then walked out. She was crying her eyes out so I told her to fuck him off, he obviously is incapable of being anything but a drunk and I know for a fact that he only comes round because she gives him an endless supply of alcohol if that wasn’t there on tap then he defo wouldn’t come back ever again. And she knows this but she must be so desperate for a man, seriously that she will just take anything that comes along. I’m tired of trying to work it out. But she was saying that she will defiantly finish it with him, etc. We had her brother and his girlf round for champagne drinking and then stayed in watching DVD’s on a Saturday night. Wakes up the next morning and there is a note saying that Luís has foned and that he has said sorry so she is going round to talk to him. She obviously must be back with him as I haven’t seen her since, so I think that she is so stupid, I’m a bit angry with her for not having any self respect to be honest, she should do what I did with Ramon.

Nothing much else to report to be honest except that I have broken more things. A champagne glass that just smashed when I was trying to wash it. The plug in the kitchen sink, that just came away in my hand, the kitchen roll holder that just fell off the wall when I touched it lightly and the front of the cutlery drawer is hanging off that just came away in my hands, so to be honest I think that her house isn’t too stable, and it’s trying to trick me and send me mad in the head or something, it definitely doesn’t like me living there and I don’t know why I take good care of it and clean it everyday and stuff and treat it nicely, but hey there are some things you just can’t force, I will not let the house beat me though!

Offski’s to Rome this Friday, then Paris the Thursday after that! It’s a hard life to lead but someone has to do it ;-P

Random word of the day: Manco= One armedTotal word count of the day- 3790

2006-12-21T14:26:00.000+01:00

Eww peeps, where to start. The meal! It was fooking disgusting. We was trying to go to some vegetarian restaurant but apparently it isn’t open on Wednesdays. Wasn’t that arsed to be honest but then it was like shit, where are we going to go with Caroline. But this vegetarian restaurant has a sister restaurant that just does normal food, so offski’s we trotted. So we gets in this restaurant and the waitress was more or less like oh sit where you want. Then she trundles off and we thought, so, ok, she has gone to get us the menu and the drinks menu etc, like normal. Except we waited. And we waited. And we waited some more. Then some Spanish people came in and we continued to wait. Then we noticed the Spanish people got a menu before us, I swear to god they are so racist here at times. Any after like 20 mins of waiting we eventually managed to get the waitresses attention, and do you know what? She had completely forgot we was there! My eye she had forgot, although this waitress was completely on her own.

Anyway we eventually get the menus and the wine list, but they were only doing crepes. Apparently they cook a speciality everyday and that was all they had. So not to be judgemental I ordered the cod and vegetables. Well! The food was salty to fook. It wasn’t to the point where they had over salted it slightly; it was to the point that it was inedible. So Caroline and Olga egged me on to complain, as I shouldn’t really sit there and not say anything. Like normally I would but the restaurant was slightly posh and quiet so everyone would hear me complain, and I already feel like a dick living here, still getting used to the way they do things, and when I do something that is the opposite of what they would do, well, they take the piss, and then I feel like a nob! Anyway I eventually plucked up the courage to complain and she said she didn’t understand me, of course she understood me, I said the simplest sentence ever. There is too much salt in my food, I can’t eat it. How difficult is that to understand. Anyway I got Olga to explain it to her and then she said well by nature cod is a salty fish. Well I dunno, I’ve been eating it for 21 years and it has never been inedible before. So she went and cooked me another one, this time ham and cheese flavoured. Well this one was just as bad. It had a kind of sweet taste. So I couldn’t eat that either, so the whole night was a disaster. Even Caroline ate her food, so I must have looked bad. But it really was disgusting. And then they tried to get me to eat pudding.

But I’ve lost so much weight here, but that’s partly because I don’t eat much anymore, and when I do eat it is all organic this and that so it’s a lot healthier than Inglaterra. But I’ve stopped eating in work as there are two girls in my office who are proper snide and they have given me a proper complex about eating. Like there is always food in this office, someone or other is always bringing something in that their mums or wives have made. So obviously if everyone is eating these and they say to me, I’m gonna try it, especially since we don’t have these sorts of things in England. Anyway the receptionist and this other girl started saying that I eat loads, which I used to laugh about because I do love my food, but then they started getting really snide about it though and made me feel like a heffer. I dunno, can someone please tell me as I don’t know, but in my opinion, I’ve not eaten that much for them to comment about. Normally at about 11 I am starving and I have these nutty breadstick things that I share with everyone. So by the time I have shared I only have two left for me, which I don’t think is too overboard. Then for my lunch I eat a ham salad butty then a yoghurt a banana and then an apple or orange or kiwi fruit. So in my honest opinion I don’t think this is a lot but they say stuff and laugh at me, but normally I wouldn’t be bothered, but it is so difficult when you are in another country and don’t understand their culture so it has bothered me slightly and now I’m scared to eat in front of them. And also one time they brought a chocolate cake in, left it sat in front of me and they all ate it and left one slice sat there in front of me for two hours. In the end I was like what is this chocolate cake, just because I knew they was waiting for me to say something. Then the receptionist and the other girl started pissing themselves laughing, so I asked what was so funny and they each blamed each other, so I obviously knew it was me they was laughing at. And also Caroline is like a size 6 so obviously next to her I feel obese, but she says she is only a size six because she is so short, but that isn’t and she knows, it is still possible to be her height and be a plus size like me. She says the only reason I have to wear plus sizes is because I’m tall, but I know people taller than me who are skinny as fook so that doesn’t make me feel better. I honestly didn’t have too much of a complex about this really until they started laughing at me.

Honestly them girls are a bit snide you know. Like in Spain when it is Christmas, all these hampers come from clients from the bosses etc. And normally they only bring five hampers each time they come as there is 6 of us in the office I never get one, which doesn’t bother me as I am only the work experience girl, but the other day someone brought 6 so I thought that was really thoughtful, but Christina, the receptionists partner in crime, was like to the man, we only need five, but the man still brought 6 and then Christina phoned round everyone to make sure that I didn’t get anything, which I wouldn’t normally be bothered if I got one or not but the fact they went out of their way to ensure I didn’t get anything. And also my company doesn’t have an xmas party, really dunno why, so normally people from each office go out and eat together, so I have been asking about this and they keep being vague about stuff and then making arrangements between themselves but in Valencian so I can’t understand, I can understand a little so I know they are making arrangements so I can’t go, and I don’t know what on earth I have done to them, but girls never seem to take to me anyway and I’m not altogether sure why.

Anyway enough of them, as like I say they have never had the courage to move abroad to another country. Some girl in my office has been putting numbers into a computer for 12 years, so criticise me all you want as I bet in another 12 years she will still be inputting numbers into a computer, and lets see what I’ll be doing shall we…

Also people find it shocking that I don’t want to get married and would prefer to be a single mother. I dunno why, but this is the way I was brought up and this is how me and all my friends from school were brought up, so to me it seems perfectly normal not to have a father around, and we have all turned out ok more or less. Like Jenny has two children and she is a writer and doing well(http://awritersdiaryjenni.blogspot.com), and Leanne Donnelly is training to be a lawyer, so I could think of worst things that could happen.

Also I have that dreaded thing tonight where all them lads are going to be in one place at the same time. Although the number has significantly decreased as Ramon all of a sudden doesn’t want to reply to my txts

RAMON YOU ARE PISSING ME OFF NOW AND REALLY WANT TO JAB MY FINGERS IN YOUR EYES. WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE NOT REPLYING TO MY MESSAGES, WELL IF YOU WANT TO PLAY GAMES WE WILL PLAY THEM AND LETS SEE WHO WINS SHALL WE, I GUARANTEE IT WON’T BE YOU YOU FUCKING TWAT OF A WANKER, YOU FUCKIN VAGINAL BLOOD BUBBLE MONKY SPUNK FEATURES.

But I’m more worried about seeing fat face to be honest. I showed his txt message to my friend and she said he was making a joke (the Spanish humour…) so she said it was a really good one and I shouldn’t be worried, but to be honest I’m not worried about him, I’m worried what everyone else is going to say as they were pretty horrific.

And I’m just in the middle of trashing my house. Last night I broke yet another glass. I honestly do not know how this happened as I actually dropped a mug and I heard some smashing, but when I looked down the mug was in one piece so I was thinking thank god, but when I turn round… a glass had randomly just jumped off from the side, probably trying to save his friend, the mug, but died in this act of bravery. And then this morning I broke the shower. I honestly do not know how this happened either. You know that little cylinder thing that holds the showerhead? Well I was putting that back and the thing just snapped out of the blue. I think the house has a conspiracy against me you know. So in the time I have been there the following list is of things I have broken:
A blender (the blades just snapped, 50€ for another)
Tupperware (Sonia had some soup in the containers in the freezer and when I opened the freezer door they just jumped out and attacked me in numbers, 2 against 1, come on Tupperware that is hardly fair anyway they smashed leaving frozen soup that was starting to defrost on the floor)
A wine glass that broke when my back was to it so I have no idea)
A glass yesterday
And the showerhead holder.

I reckon the showerhead holder is gonna cost me loads. I’m gonna see if I can superglue it to perfection though, but I tend to stay away from super glue as I always stick my fingers together, man alive, that stuff is strong!

So I’m feeling pretty shit about myself right now L I feel blue L And Ramon is a complete and utter twat seriously, was supposed to be meeting him today and then doesn’t txt to confirm. What a loser. He makes me so mad; he only bothers when it’s the weekend. Like I have previously said though, normally I wouldn’t put up with this off anyone but since I am only here til feb that’s why I’m slightly more lenient! Anyway, if I have time I will put a posting tomorrow about how tonight went.

Random word of the day: llanero solitario = lone ranger (yep that’s me!)

Total word count of the day: 1953

2006-12-20T14:27:00.000+01:00

Well peeps, still mortified, but I have calmed down slightly as it is fat face’s birthday today and I decided to send him a txt. I wrote: felicidades guapo como está tu cuello hoy? Which means happy birthday handsome, how is your neck today, which I thought is quite casual and since we haven’t spoken since the “incident” I didn’t think it was too full on. Anyway, almost straight away he txt me back saying: gracias! El cuello está mal aun. No me queda ropa con cuello alto. Nos vemos, besos. Which means: cheers, The neck is still really bad and I don’t have any clothes with a high collar on them. We will see each other, kisses. So because then he looked a bit of a desperado txting back straight away, I just txt him back saying, its possible I can squeeze you in on Thursday, its just that I have things to do, and then he never txt me back, so I didn’t get him begging like I thought I would. Ah well. We shall see on Thursday, although, still not sure I’m going to go as if I see him after Xmas then the whole incident will have been forgotten about and I won’t be embarrassed again! But at least he wasn’t horrible and he txt me back, so it’s something I suppose.

Going out fo tea tonight with Caroline and her housemate, my ouse mate isn’t going as she is still sleeping in a chair at the hospital. I also think that Luis is going to end up moving in with us you know as he is staying here on friday and I just don’t think he is going to ever leave, so bang goes any peace and quiet I was hoping for. Never mind I have only got 2 months left, well gutted about that, I just don’t think that Italy is going to be as good, although Simona told me that there is like an army base there and it is full of fit American soldiers so things could improve rapidly…

Random word of the day: taparrabo = loincloth

2006-12-20T14:26:00.000+01:00

Well peeps, still mortified. Really you wanna feel my shame right now. Sonia was pissing herself laughing she said I should buy him a present, just something little so he knows I’m sorry. Then Leanne Galloway suggested that I buy him a scarf. I actually did think that was a good idea to buy him it as a joke, but then I really wouldn’t have the courage to give it to him, but it would be so funny if I did, but I’m not sure if he is still sulking or if he is over it yet and would find it funny, so I think I will leave it.

Spoke to Caroline on the phone, and she said because he was sulking that’s why he was angry with me, but she doesn’t think he is angry with me no more and I should calm down and stop worrying, but I still think it is his own fault for taking a skank home. Then I was mentioning to Caroline that he lives with his grandma and he told me his parents live far, he did tell me where, but I can’t remember. And I was saying to her that it was a bit clumsy of him to speak about me in Spanish and not Valencian, and I was wondering why he didn’t speak Valencian, then Caroline brought up a suggestion- that he could be Romanian. Well I didn’t even think to check if he was or he wasn’t and now I’m pretty convinced that he is Romanian. It sounds like I’m being highly racist, but I would make a lot of enemies here if I was with a Romanian, would make enemies, with the Spanish but also the Romanians themselves, so I might have to try and find out. Also Caroline told me she wasn’t going to Las Tascas on Thursday as she needs to pack so I told her to forget that idea as after what I have done there is no way I can go to Las Tascas by myself. Normally I would go and meet people there by myself but I know everyone is going to be staring at me and talking about me. Still so unbelievably mortified with myself though. I can’t sleep because of the shame. But if he chooses to take any old skank home then he only has himself to blame.

Random word of the day: ir de ligue = to go out and pull

Total word count of the day: (surprisingly 418)

2006-12-20T14:24:00.000+01:00

Oh my god peeps, quite an eventful weekend. Friday night me and Caroline was meant to be going to look at the Christmas lights in Castellón and have some Churros etc and taking some pictures as I haven’t actually taken that many and I have been here for nearly four months, gone quick as a flash you see. Anyway it didn’t quite work out that way as in the end I said to her to come to my house, we can drink some wine and listen to the shit Xmas songs me mam sent me. So anyway we was doing that and having a good little chat as she had brought me some magazines that she brought me from England so we was having a nice little time, and then I went and broke one of Sonia’s wine glasses, it just fell and I was no where near it, but I keep breaking her stuff, and although I want my deposit back, by the time I have replaced everything I have broke it will be gone and more.

Anyway we decided to venture out, but we left it too late for Churros but we still got to see some lights and they were so pretty, especially around the town hall and in the centre. And I took pictures of the digital temperature and time things and I hate to say it for all of those who are in England, but it was like 15º at midnight. Eww and then we bumped into some reet losers. Well I say bumped into, they accosted us and was chatting away, trying to get us to go with them for a drink and then they asked for Caroline’s phone number so she was like “I haven’t got one but Laura has” grrr, anyway I reluctantly gave them my English phone number with the anticipation that, as it was English then he wouldn’t want to call-wrong! He has been calling me every night at like strange hours and he text me to say he is going out on Thursday to Las Tascas-which is where I go every Thursday so will most prob bump into him and have to run away.

Then on the Saturday me and Caroline went to a small town about half an hour away from Castellón as there is some sort of medieval ruins on the top of a mountain so we decided to climb it… Actually it was ok, it was a really pretty town, but it was weird it was like a ghost town, as there was signs of life, but no actual movement in this town, you saw the odd person here and there. And we walked past some orange groves I wanted to pick some, but Caroline was a bit wary, so in the end I didn’t.

Anyway we get to this mountain thing, and we was both a bit scared, it all seemed a bit too much Texas chainsaw massacre to us and then we seen two men with a knife just like sitting in some leafy bushes, slightly shat my pants so I asked them what they was doing and stuff, couldn’t make out a word of what they said, a lack of teeth was the problem you see, but they had two dogs and one of them was a puppy and he was so cute, but he started tugging at my 100% wool cardigan and wouldn’t let go the little twat. Anyway, we eventually get to the top, but you see, the thing is about this mountain, there is no direct path to the top, so we struggled and walked through prickly stuff and climbed up rocks and stuff, and through swarms of bees and everything, there was even cactus plants, that were bigger than I was, I’ve never seen them that big, it did proper feel like we was in the desert, but in the back of my mind I had visions about having to be rescued by helicopters and stuff, that would have been absolutely hilarious! Anyway, we gets to the top and it was some sort of watchtower thing, but some bastards have grafitteed all over it, which spoils it a bit. Eventually got to the other hill where the actual castle ruins are and I desperately needed a piss, so I’m ashamed to say that I crouched… ah well no one was around, and after all that is the way God intended us! Although I did initially crouch and didn’t realise there was prickly things there… ouch! Anyway on the way back down, I fell into a bleedin cactus tree, didn’t I! And I dunno how on earth I did it, as there wasn’t even a cactus tree nearby that I was aware of. Anyhoo, I had to pull the spikes out one by one, but they wasn’t even the worst parts, there are tiny little spikes that look like hairs and there are absolutely thousands of them but when you touch them, they are the ones that sting the most L

Anyway we made our way back home in order to get ready to go out. As well as having that reet geek phoning me in the early hours I had Ramon texting me (getting mightily sick of you, young man) saying that he was only going out for drinks on Friday and could we not meet then and then I had him phoning me at five o’clock in the morning, what the fook, still convinced that he has a girlf though. So on the sat I txt him asking to come out with me and he said he couldn’t as all his friends were in bed as they were tired from the night before, well,

1) your friends are the biggest loser twats ever, I have never wanted to hit someone so hard as that little group, and I don’t understand why he hangs about with them, but it does slightly make me think that he probably is just as much of a twat as them and this whole thing he has with me is just an act, and he still even acts a bit like a nob with me and
2) you are not going out to see your friends you are coming out to see me! Anyway so he didn’t end up coming but he txt me and asked if we could tomar algo on Thursday in Las Tascas, but by this point I was so drunk I just replied yes…

So, when I was in ETTRO, guess who I bumped into, one of the lads that I met in Madrid, and I have got to say hum-a-na hum-a-na hum-a-na. No way did I remember him being that fit at all. But he was unbelievably fit, but then I started talking to him, and well, that was over. Arrogant little twat. He doesn’t drink by the way but he is one of them hyper dancers. Hmm I dunno if things don’t work out with cockney, Ramon, fat face, and I have already given up on Adriano, gay boy, then maybe we will see about him.

Anyway, no one ended up coming out, no Sergio or Adriano, so I dunno what the fook was going on, Alejandro came out for a bit but then went home, I honestly think they don’t like me you know, as Alejandro wasn’t really speaking to me. Anyway…Gustavo was out, I fooking love that guy, I said I would find him a girlfriend as he wanted to dance with loads of girls but didn’t have the confidence and he said he had confidence in me that I would find him the right one, but I’ve got Leona earmarked for him, although he really isn’t good looking, he is the nicest person ever and he laughs at thin air like Leona, so they already have two things in common, and Leona, he is like a chemist so $ ch$ ching! And he wouldn’t go out with other girls like them French boys do, although, I’m pretty sure he might be a virgin…Or maybe he is slightly into boys, in which case I have Cody lined up for him, but I don’t think he is Cody’s type to be honest, ha ha lol Cody will absolutely kill me when he reads this, but since I don’t have the ganas, just zip back to an earlier disclaimer, as he has threatened to sue me!!!!!! But just to make sure Cody has not told me he is gay I just say he is. Yep, little old me.

Anyway was dancing away and fat face was out, and I have started to get a bit of an obsession with him you see, so I danced with him for a little bit and I dunno how we got onto this conversation, but we somehow mutually agreed that it was the best idea in the world to go back to my house, (it really was though!) so the inevitable happened etc. Then in the morning while I was sleeping, he just started walking round my house naked eating oranges, please someone tell me if this is normal. That’s when I kind of woke up as I had to tell him to either stay in my room desnuda or put at least pants on as my housemate could walk in at any moment, although if she came in and seen fat face, (by the way his name is Vincent, I hesitated the other day when Sonia asked!), naked in her kitchen eating oranges then she would have pissed herself laughing, I would have too, although I don’t think he would have. Also the Spanish boys just really do not have a clue, none of them wear boxers, they all wear briefs, and it is really hard to fall in love with them when you have seen these things, never mind, if I ever end up with a Spaniard-he will do as he is told! I’m sorry I shouldn’t be telling you what fat face wears that is quite a private thing, so especially you Leanne Galloway, if you ever end up seeing him-please DO NOT LAUGH! Like seriously you see all these briefs just hanging out to dry on people’s balconies, it is the most tragic thing ever.

Anyway, we was chatting away and stuff and he was saying it is his birthday on weds and that he is going for a drink to Las Tascas on Thursday if I wanted to come, well I go every Thursday so no problem for me. Then he went into the bathroom and then came out and was like “what the fook have you done?!” Taken a back a bit by surprise I was like er what the fook? So then I seen his neck…….FOUR HUGE LOVEBITES. They are really big and really dark as well. Well I am absolutely mortified with myself. I have not done this since I was like 15 and since I was pissed out of my face I actually do not remember doing it so its not like I’m a dirty whore who goes round giving love bites to people with big heads, (aww his head is slightly big, bless him, but he is still fit as fook). Well he was mad. I said sorry like a thousand times he just kept saying its ok, when you knew it really wasn’t and then he works doing something important es un comercio so he works in commerce and he has to wear a suit for work, and you know it must be really posh, as no one in Spain wears suits for work, so he has to go into work like that he said his bosses will go mad, and plus he is going to Tarragona, or Zaragoza tomorrow to meet with some V.I.P clients…oops, I’m so sorry. Not only this but he lives with his Grandma…she is really gonna love me now isn’t she?

Anyway he was sat there sulking for ages and then his friend phoned, turned out to be Sergio’s brother, and then fat face was thinking that I couldn’t understand and told Sergio’s brother. I heard Sergio’s brother going mad on the phone and fat face was like “well she said perdona, perdona,” mimicking my voice and then he said “I was loving her this morning but now…..” Well I never, I dunno how many times I have to say sorry, but there was nothing more I could do. So then he ended up staying until 9 but it was slightly awkward as he was sulking the whole time, no word of a lie. So I have been absolutely worried about this now as I am so embarrassed and mortified about this and now everyone is going to know, Castellón is a small place and people will talk for defo. Phoned Caroline but she doesn’t get just how bad it is. When he was leaving he was just like “right see you Thursday”. So I won’t hold my breath for him txting me.

But no I have a dilemma, Adriano, fat face, Ramon, that weirdo and Cockney boy are going to be there in the same place at the same time, so I’m thinking it might bode well for me if I choose to stay in that night…

I dunno out of everyone I love fat face the most, but after this he is well not gonna be happy with me. But anyway, it is slightly his fault as if he is gonna take any skank home, then what does he expect?

Random word of the day: ligue de una noche = one night stand

Total word count of the day: 2286

2006-12-15T14:33:00.000+01:00

I've put whatever I've wri9tten in purple, cos you know, I'm pretty, and I have put my sisters stuff in black grr...

Subject: I'm serious this time I'm actually going to kill mother

You are going to have to sort mother out. I only have until Monday to get my fees paid, I asked mum to find the letter for me and send it directly to uni but for some strange unknown reason she seem completely incapable of following instructions and sent it to me instead, well I wouldn't mind but how on earth does she suppose I get the letter to uni on time? I told her to ask you to look for it, as she doesn't have a clue what she is looking for whereas you know exactly. anyway, she assured me she knew exactly what she is looking for, and then sent it to me, ooh I'm so mad. So, the letter arrived today, and it is the most random thing she has sent me. It doesn't say anything at all about my fees only about my loan, and it actually has on there fees: 0.00 so why she sent me that at all I will never know, she has clearly done this on purpose as she knew it was for my fees I don't know how many times I have to say fees in one e-mail for it to get through to her thick head.

So now, you will have to sort things out for me please, do you work in the same building as the LEA? If so could you get the phone number off them for the STOCKPORT LEA ?

First of all i don't want you to call her names like that-it's not nice listening to you say things like that. i didn't look for it as mum said she had found it and had sent it off so I assumed that it was correct. I will need your info to be able to talk to them. no i work in a separate building but will find the number and phone them. So just to make sure that i have got it clear, you want your LEA to send a letter to uni to tell them that they will pay your fees? I will also phone uni if you like to make sure that they are aware of the situation.
And we did try to get you flights home. how much did it cost you in the end, when are you coming home and do you want me pick you up from the airport?

Subject: RE: I'm serious this time I'm actually going to kill mother
no you tried to get me flights from random places that I couldn't have got to without a car or paying for a taxi, so were you willing to pay 100-200 euro's for a taxi? I didn't think so. Do you know what I will phone them myself as seriously no one can be trusted to do it, and don't phone uni, the last time mum phoned uni, they had a go at me and I think this is the only reason I am having problems now, as she phoned when it is none of her business, like I say I think she is doing it on purpose to ruin things for me cos she never did things like this with you. also what names did I call mum?

Subject: RE: I'm serious this time I'm actually going to kill mother
i said i would phone for you and have just got the relevant numbers and I will also phone uni. you need to stop with this attitude as i don't like receiving emails form you when all i get is abuse. And don't exaggerate-we were only trying to help you which you seem really ungrateful for. all i get is hassle from you about htings that are beyond my control. we are supposed to be sisters yet I feel like im talking to a five year old with the attitude that I get from you. what happened to being nice and normal?

Subject: RE: I'm serious this time I'm actually going to kill mother
its ok I have just phoned them and they first have to send it to mums house, so it looks like I will never receive it now as I only have until monday to pay the fees. And what on earth abuse are you talking about?
Its ok for you as long as you have your career sorted out, but whilst I'm still trying to do mine all I get is hurdles and one bad thing after another, you do not understand what it is like, you will never move abroad or have to cope with any of this when you are powerless to do anything and you are working for less than the minimum wage. and the flights you are talking about you were going to buy them, when I couldn't use the tickets but you wouldn't have bought me the one's that would actually get me home though, and what would you have done about me and my woking hours when you were just going to book them without my knowledge? DO NOT PHONE UNI

YOU ARE MISSING THE POINT!!! ok so we got the wrong airport, the point is that we tried and wanted you to come home. now I know we shouldn't have bothered coz nothing is ever good enough for you.
I have spoken to your LEA and as you're an ERASMUS student, it's the ERASMUS people that pay your fees for you and not the LEA so imp really not sure what letter they're sending you. let me know if you want me to help you. and just to let you know, I've worked very hard "to get my career sorted out"-you make it sound as if it was a piece of piss. I still had to go and work somewhere that I wasn't familiar with and whilst I appreciate that I haven't had the task of learning a new language to do it, you can speak the language so you should have some advantage there. you should take some responsibility for your own actions and stop blaming everyone else for the fact that YOU chose to do this degree knowing that you would have to go abroad for a year and therefore YOU are the one that should have prepared better for it. I don't want you to feel that you can't come to me for help, but at the same time you have to stop giving me all of this grief as I am beginning to wish that you never went abroad. you need to start appreciating your time there before it's too late.

Subject: RE: I'm serious this time I'm actually going to kill mother
I try to appreciate my time there but its the problems at home that stop me enjoying it, and phone up the LEA and tell them to get their facts right I'm not actually an ERASMUS student. And I'm starting to wish I never went abroad as now as all I have had is hassle of you lot and uni as all they want is their fees and once again I have to mention you never had the courage to up sticks and move to another country. DO NOT PHONE UNI.

who says that I wont move to another country when I'm older-just because I didn't need to when I did my placement doesn't mean that I never will
.well the LEA seem to think that the uni have sent them a letter in which they have told them that they don't have to pay as your as ERASMUS student. I'm only telling you what they told me. they couldn't tell me much anyway coz of data protection.

Subject: RE: I'm serious this time I'm actually going to kill mother
it is a bit irresponsible to move abroad when you have got yourself a dog don't you think, and you would never move anywhere like Castellon where no on at all speaks a word of English though also go round to mums tonight and look for that letter, I have limited time I only have until monday which means it will fuck up my loan and I won’t have no money at all. DO NOT PHONE UNI.

why is it irresponsible to move abroad because I have a dog? obviously I'd take Jessie with me, and obviously I wouldn't move anywhere where I couldn't speak the language as that would be stupid. I can't go round to mums tonight as I have to attend to my dog. no they wont throw you out-it's not in there interests to loose someone that just has one more year to go. you're forgetting that I attended the same university as you are.

Subject: RE: I'm serious this time I'm actually going to kill mother they will eventually throw me out as I haven't paid the fees, what do you think people go to uni for free? This is also exactly my point, you wouldn't move anywhere where they didn't speak english and have to use a foreign language everyday where it would be challenging for you, you are the same as all the rest of the giddy’s. DO NOT PHONE UNI!!!

do you know what, I'm actually getting really tired and bored of all this. non of this is my fault-YOU should have got your act together in the first place. you need to think properly about how you talk to people because at the minute you are rapidly loosing my support. I have tried to help you but this is thrown back in my face which makes me less likely to want to help you. You're missing the point-YOU CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE, or so you keep telling us so what's you point? you just have to be centre of attention as per usual so of course your problems are the worst-no one else ever has any problems, the fact is you make your own problems. I actually have to go and do some work now, otherwise I'll be the one who is thrown out.

Subject: RE: I'm serious this time I'm actually going to kill mother you are such a cow you do not even try and understand, and this is the exact reason I didn't want to come home for xmas you lot and your malicious ways. DO NOT PHONE UNI

do you really think you're the only one with problems? you need to think about someone other than yourself.

i'm sorry don't you dare ever accuse me of being selfish. also what are you trying to phone uni for they can't speak to you, how many times do I have to tell you all they will only deal with me, so how many times do I have to say DO NOT PHONE UNI

do you know what-you can sort your own problems out. I am sick to death of bailing you out for problems that you exaggerate and bring on your self as far as I am concerned I do not want to help you out with this matter anymore. if you're so bloody clever-sort them out yourself.

Subject: RE: I'm serious this time I'm actually going to kill mother Once again get your facts right. I only ever asked you to get the number for the LEA. I also gave you specific instructions not to speak to uni, as now she has spoken with you when I never gave her permission to and I have had to complain, so you have caused a whole heap of trouble, not only for her, but for me as well with uni and my job, and for your information, I contacted bridget on this matter in October before I came home, and I have been constantly fobbed off onto other people ever since, so its not like I left it to the last minut and its not even my fault that no one was forwarding my post to here.

Actually you can get your facts right-I can't believe that you are well lying and trying to make me feel bad for helping you and finally getting your problem sorted out. you're forgetting that I also know data protection laws, and for your information she did not tell me anything that was personal to you and I did not ask her anything that was personal as I did not want to compromise her integrity. I only relayed the problem to her and she phoned you about it. I can't believe that you think that I am so stupid to believe you I never believe anything you say for this very reason-you always exaggerate it.
if you don't want me to help you anymore then that's fine because as far as i'm concerned it' s not worth the hassle, and believe me it has been very much a hassle to deal with you when you are in this despicable mood. I don't see why I should bother anymore. we'll see how far you get when you are in the shit without anyone's help, and I know you will get into trouble coz you always do. so take this as an official warning that I never want to have to bail you out again when you get yourself into financial or otherwise trouble.
and Bridget was the one who said that you shouldn't have left it until the last minute not me, I just agreed with her. so just to clarify, do not email me anymore unless you are prepared to write a civil email coz I really don't care anymore-you will have to sort your own troubles out for once.

she shouldn't have spoken to you when I gave specific instyructions for her not to, so we will watch this space shall we. And I never actually asked you to interfere so I don't know why yopu did it in the first place. And for your information you have only bailed me out once financially as I recall and you got that money back so its not like I just took it off you. And I always bail myslef out of trouble by the way, I don't need no ones help, for your infpormation.

I have told you that she did not speak to me-I spoke to her, she said nothing then phoned you. you are one of the most pathetic people I know. And we'll see what trouble you get yourself into as no doubt you will have squandered nanas money by now with all the debt you're in. and besides you have asked me loads of times to bail you out.

For your information, no one phoned me so you can stop repeating your little self when you are talking, as per usual, crap. I haven't squandered nana's money, as you well know, I haven't received any of the money, how’s mum’s new kitchen by the way? and what are these loads of times that you have bailed me out??? You wanna think on how you speak to your sister and try not to let jelousy get in the way as some people have to spend this Christmas without their sisters and other members of their family, so how dare you call me pathetic.

you're the one who should grow up and think about how they treat their sister as you're the one hwo has started all of this nonsense. and what should i be jealous about exactly? i am perfectly happy with my own like thank you very much if anyone's jealous then it's you. i don't know where all of this has come from i still haven't done anything wrong.

Subject: RE: I'm serious this time I'm actually going to kill motheryou haven't done anything wrong? You speak to me like shit, and you can't evendeny that you do, and you phoned up uni when I gave specific instructions not to. I told you not to phone the LEA, as you wouldn't have a clue what you are talking about and I had already phoned them myself then told you not to phone them but you went ahead and phoned them after spcific instructions not to and started spouting rubbish about ERASMUS, the exact reason I DIDN’T WANT YOU TO PHONE. Then you phoned up uni and interfered when I gave specific instructions not to then I had uni phoning up work, a place of professionalism and you don't think I had the right to go mad, this whole tripis ruined by behaviour from my family in England. And having to deal with you lot, I thought I had put enough distance between us all when I moved country, but slearly Spain isn’t far enough!

you need to grow up and realise that if your trip has been spoiled that it is entirely down to you!!! like I keep saying you need to take some responsibility for you own actions. if we're so bad why do you keep bothering us to help you. why didn't you sort everything out yourself.AND YOU'RE THE ONE WHO HAS BEEN SPEAKING SHIT TO ME AS MY WORK COLLEAGUES AND MUM CAN VERIFY. SHE HATES YOU JUST AS MUCH AS I DO. YOU ARE DESPICABLE AND WE DESPISE YOU, YOU REALLY ARE A PIECE OF SHIT THAT WE HAVE TROD IN. You really are on another planet. if I didn't phone uni and the LEA for you then you probably would still be moaning to me that you're going to be thrown out of uni. I decided to phone them and sort it out my way as you're instructions clearly wasn't working and I was sick of being told that mum is stupid and that I needed to spend my whole evening looking for a form that you should have had somewhere prominent. I can't believe that you're slating me for helping you. you are not even the slightest bit grateful are you?and I know what this all comes down to, you're having a shit time over there so you think that blaming us will make it better. well just remember who your family is when you're really in trouble. don't think I'll be inclined to help if this is the way I'm treated when I do.you obviously don't read and remember things properly as it was the LEA who told me you were an ERASMUS student-I didn't make that up you know, and once again I simply told Bridget the problem because I was sick of you writing horrid emails pretending you would be thrown out of uni. you just can't stop lying. and you're only this horrible coz you know I'm right.and what did I say not so long ago-STOP emailing me at work, unlike you who seems to have forever to write and relay emails to everyone and his dog, some of us really do have work to do. I bet you're playing the right little victim over there telling them that we all hate you. well you carry on because it’s all true.

As promised I have put my sisters e-mails on there. How much of a bitch is she. I have read back through the e-mails, and admittedly there are things on there that I shouldn’t have said, but I still stand by the fact that she shouldn’t have interfered by phoning up uni, as she would have actually slapped me and then would have got my mum to throw me out again if I had done that to her, so I’m more mad by the fact that she thought she had a right to interfere with my personal business, and I don’t know why she thinks I’m having a shit time over here, I’m actually having a ball, as my blog will testify, so I think it is more a case for her wishful thinking. But can people honestly give me their honest opinions and tell me if you think I was the one out of order or she was. As I am obviously not going to admit to her that I am wrong as I think that I am right. I mean, how would she like it if I phoned up her work and complained that she was using her company e-mail to send abusive e-mails to me? That is the exact same equivalent of what she has done, as now I had uni phoning me e-mailing me etc to question me! All because my sister couldn’t keep her big snout out. I’m just so mad that she though she could phone and interfere and that I would get on my knees and kiss her feet. She has seriously got another thing coming, so watch this space for more e-mails, and slagging matches across the old correo electronico.

Also watch for dynamite fireworks on Christmas day as we attempt to share the same dinner table… Like normally on Christmas, I sit up stairs playing with my new presents, watching the Christmas telly in my room drinking up there by myself. Then I’m forced downstairs to sit and eat with “them” and because I’m drunk there is no way I attempt to be polite, but of course, Laura looks the bad one again. So then my sister offers me a game of trivial pursuit to build bridges, as she thinks she is the cleverest person in the family, but she hasn’t managed to beat me yet in a game. And she is so embarrassed and thick. Once I was asking the question “which pink and white striped cat…” and before I got to finish the ending, she jumped in saying “THE PINK PANTHER!”. Hmm I don’t recall the pink panther being striped, it was fooking bag puss you loon, but of course, I had to accept her first answer, with the hugest smirk on my face. And it is a small victory for me as well, as I once recall when we was in work, I was telling people that my mum is dead clever, she knows everything about everything. Anyway, my sister butts in and goes “no she’s not, I’m cleverer than mum” well clearly not if you can’t beat your little sister in trivial persuit. But now she denies she ever said that, but hello, there were like 10 people there.

Dramas, dramas and more dramas. It turns out Luis has only gone and caught a highly contagious form of pneumonia. So technically I should have been tested, and I phoned in work and told them I needed to be tested as I have had a cold this week and my chest hurts when I breathe and I’m slightly more flemmy than usual. And I did have the intention of going… but they have needles in the hospital you know… I’m slightly petrified of them. And also I didn’t want some doctor “fucking” juan “ah you want to take off you pantes and we can see why your chest is bad, eh blondie???” No I don’t fucking thinks so you twat flap, “twat flap? What is this? I know not what you mean?”

Anyway, I went to see him in the hospital yesterday when I was slightly sciving off work and I had to wear masks and gloves and everything. I only stayed for ten mins, but he was well made up that I went, as he seriously only seems to have me and Sonia. Gonna go again for ten mins and take him some grapes, although, Sonia found it strange that I would suggest to take grapes as here when someone is ill they takes sweets. You know sweets are going to get you better quicker! Ha ha ha lol!

Also I would just like to point out that does anyone remeber Marleen from neighbours, Cheryls mum? Well she went on like a 3 month cruise and never came back, and no one actually cared that she never came back and she was never mentioned again, especially when lolly got took off Lou! Shocking it really is!

Random word of the day: gruñido = growler!
Total word count: 3962

2006-12-13T14:36:00.000+01:00

Shit peeps, I feel like the worst person in the world. I came home yesterday to find the following note:

¡Hola Laura!

Lo siento, hoy tampoco vengo a cenar ni a dormir, Luís ha ido al hospital esta mañana y le han detectado manchas en los pulmones. Lo han ingresado y mañana lo tienen que operar. Me quedaré con él todo el tiempo que necesite. Mañana te diré algo.

Besos

PD muy bonita el árbol. Ah! He puesto otra lavadora y he visto que la ropa no está seca. Lo siento. ¡Ya la tenderás como puedas!

Which basically says in English:

Hey Laura!

I’m sorry but I’m not going to have tea here again or will sleep here tonight, Luis went to the hospital this morning and they have found shadows on his lungs. They have admitted him and tomorrow they have to operate. I am staying with him the whole time as he needs me. Tomorrow I will tell you everything.

Kisses

PS The Christmas tree is very pretty. Ah! I have put another wash in and have noticed that the other clothes haven’t dried yet. You will have to do what you can!

So I feel really shitty, because despite all his faults he is a really nice person and you have got to feel sorry for him, as this Christmas he will be spending Christmas day alone, that’s if he makes it through, as to be honest with the amount of drugs he takes everyday and the amount he drinks, its no surprise they find things lurking in his lungs. So now it’s my fault he is there as I slagged him off to fook, and then someone in the great unknown has thought, right I will show her, and then made him ill. My words have killed him, nnnnnnnooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Although, because he is ill now, that means she will never get rid of him, although she knows it’s the right thing to do and that she isn’t happy with him, she will take pity on him again. So might have to put up with him longer than I thought.

Oh and I took my Christmas lights back last night. She wasn’t too impressed, as I had took them out of the box and I couldn’t put them back in again properly. Well like I do not mean to be funny or anything, how on earth I am meant to know if they work or not, without taking them out. Anyway she reluctantly swapped them, and the ones I got finally worked. Although, they are flashing lights and there isn’t a function on them to switch between flashing or normal. But the thing is they flash for like an hour and then they are on normal. But never mind they were cheap enough for me to be able to put up with them for two weeks. And the good news is I managed to put the lights on without having to undecorated it all. Forgot to buy some baubles though, nevermind will do that tonight. Also regretting doing my tree in red and gold, wish I would have gone with silver and lilac now, but I suppose red and gold are more Christmassy.

Also with Sonia not being there last night, I got to cook my own food, as she normally cooks and I normally wash the pots. Her food is gorgeous but I have missed the taste of my food and I cooked myself a gorgeous chicken lemon stir-fry, although a stir-fry with out any Chinese vegetables, does that count? It had leeks, courgette, broccoli green beans, peppers, onions, peas, sweetcorn and cabbage. And I wanted to put some lemon grass in it, but fresh herbs are not really found in Spain, might I add, unless it grows here, they are not big importers of things you see, and then I made my lemon sauce. And Sonia has a machine to juice the lemons so I didn’t have to slave over doing that for the sauce, how cool is that?! It was really nice last night, a bit strong on the lemon, so I had too cook it for ages which meant the vegetables lost a bit of their colour, but still tasted beautiful, even if I do say so myself!

Random word of the day: Vahído = dizzy spell!
Total word count of the day: 730

2006-12-13T14:30:00.000+01:00

Before I begin, I would like to give Conor an honorary mention, as I forgot to put that I seen him in Madrid, and I think he reads my blog!! So helooooo to you!

Right peeps, where to start. The discovery of Churros I think. Oh my god they are like little pieces of heaven. They taste like Christmas, all sweet and nice and warm. And you can get them covered in sugar, chocolate, or you can buy melted chocolate separate and dunk them in. It’s hard to describe what they are. They are closely related to the pancake family, me thinks, however the dictionary says it’s a flour fritter. They are long stick things and crunchy on the outside and soft and heart warmingly warm on the inside. And I’ve lost a shit load of weight since I have been here, not that anyone at all has noticed, but I think it going to creep back up on me, as I’m so addicted to these. Every main plaza here you will get a stand, so that’s good for me, I don’t have far to walk! But then that is also bad, as I will eat them ALL the time.

And I finally bought a Christmas tree yesterday. It was only 5 euros in the Chinese shop- bargain! Although it is a bit shitty, I will only be using it for two weeks, before I go to England and I can’t take it to Italy and then England with me so I thought what the hey, it will do. Its quite a decent size as well considering that it was only five euros which in English money is £3.50 and I would say it is about 5ft, although it could do with being a bit leafy, but I’m gonna tinsel it up to fuck and hopefully that would hide it. I bought the decorations from the Chinese shop cheap as chips too. They are all read and gold, but with the odd bit of blue and silver, and I had to put a gold star on the top as I couldn’t find an angel, as I normally put both on. But lo and behold my 70p Christmas tree lights-did not work, and I know they are only 70p but it is the principal of it, I’m going to take them back tonight and ask if I can swap them then try my potential new lights in the shop, as you can’t really decorate the tree without putting the lights on first, but I was like a child and couldn’t wait so I have now decorated my tree sin luz, so now I will have to undecorate it all, put the lights on and decorate it again. I need more baubles, as the ones I bought were small, and the tree is bigger than I thought so I need to fill it out a bit and I think I should get some thicker tinsel, as once again I thought I was buying a tiny wee thing. Although my tree looks really tacky I am so proud of it as it is all my creation and also, I do love tacky things at Christmas, its what makes it Christmas.

Also wish Sonia would have been there when I was doing the tree but she doesn’t really like Christmas and she had to go to Luís’s house (poor girl) as he has a bad stomach (you should have been there to smell the smell in my bathroom that morning, I was nearly sick)but I’m not surprised as he doesn’t eat, except when he steals food off other people’s plates and the only thing he regularly has is alcohol and drugs. So she had to go round change his sheets for him as I think he might have shat in them and just lied there all day, I dunno, but Sonia had to take him food she had to go to the chemists for him she had to go and cook and clean his house for him, so I was a bit like, “hang on a minute Sonia, you do this stuff for him everyday, when was the last time he did stuff for you? When was the last time he spent his money on you?” And she was like yeah I know, I have been thinking and I’m sick and tired he drinks a 1½ litre bottle of Jack Daniels in a week and it is always me that buys stuff and that pays for stuff, and she is sick of her house being dirty and smelly and she has now realised that there is no future with him, but she feels sorry for him as he doesn’t have family, but I told her that she can’t stay with him out of pity. He comes here and eats all my food, and fair enough if he wants to eat all of your food that his problem, but 1) I don’t have the money to keep him in food and 2) it isn’t my responsibility to feed him. She tells me she is in love with him, but like, how on earth? He absolutely reeks of what can only be described as shit and he is an alki take like 10 pills a day, constantly smokes weed and he doesn’t work…hmm great catch there Sonia. And she knows that she can’t introduce him to her friends and family, so what is she gonna do? Have a secret boyfriend for the rest of her life?

Anyway, she was just saying that she is tired of having to mop up his piss and vomit all the time, and she even told me that she has to ask him to wash his hands before they have sex! Alarm bells should have started ringing there and then Sonia, I’m afraid. I said to her that I don’t think she is actually in love with him and that she just loves being needed, she agreed with me, as you know, I am always right. But as I pointed out, she can find a normal man and still be needed as she will be needed in a different way, like he will need her beauty and her smile and he will need her to make him laugh and he will need her company and her love. But she told me she doesn’t fall in love with these people, so something is seriously wrong with her, me thinks, as she is pretty and funny and everyone loves her so why she always goes for losers I will never know. Anyway so off she went. So was stuck in on my own, but it wasn’t too bad as I put the crappy Christmas songs on that me mam sent me and decorated the tree until like 1 in the morning.

Oh and my sister! Do not seriously get me started! My fees haven’t been paid so they threatened to throw me out of uni. But my fees didn’t get paid because mother was too stingy to pay 50p for a stamp to send them me, so in turn I wasn’t registered and therefore the LEA won’t pay out until you are registered. Big chain of events. So I got this letter saying they are going to revoke me, so I e-mailed big useless fat-arse-my career-is-sending-students-abroad-and-I’m-jealous Bridget and let her know about my problem. She then passed me on to someone else, who then passed me on to someone else, who then passed me on to someone else, etc. Anyway, eventually I was told that I would need to send in my letter from the LEA that confirmed that I was going to get my fees paid. I looked high and low for this letter, couldn’t find it, so it must defo be in my mother’s house. So I e-mailed mother to phone me, including this she has only phoned me twice since I have been here, all of the other times I have had to phone her. So she wouldn’t honestly know if I was alive to be honest. Anyway I explained exactly what letter she would need to look for, and then I said to her to check with my sister, as you don’t have a clue what you are looking for. “Of course I know what I’m looking for, don’t treat me like I am stupid” And then I told her, when she finds the letter to send it DIRECTLY to uni.

So I get an e-mail off her a few days later saying, “I think I have found the letter you needed, I’m not sure but I have sent it to your house in Spain”. You see, I don’t know whether she was born stupid, or that she is just really good at it, but I honestly think she is trying to sabotage my life here, just because she is so miserable with her own life and she takes it out on me, and she never did stuff like this with my sister. So that left me with no time at all to get things sorted. Anyway, the letter arrived and it was the most random letter ever, it was completely useless to me, anyway I’m sure I have told you this. Then I e-mailed me mam having a go at her and then she e-mails back and says she never had a clue what she was looking for and that I told her to end it to my house! Do you see?! Do you see why?!

So just to have a little rant and rave with someone who understands, I e-mailed my sister and asked her to help me, but then she started kicking off with me, so then I asked her to not help me as she was bound to sabotage me too. We are still arguing now, so she has told me not to bother coming home for xmas, so glad I’m only back for five days as I will have plenty of people to stay with for just one night, and I could maybe squeeze two nights out of my uncle Karl, I dunno we will have to see, as my mum never actually told me to not come home, but no doubt she will agree with her. But I can’t be bothered writing it all out, so I will put the e-mails we have sent each other, exactly how they were written with nothing changed.

Random word of the day: Algarabía = hullabaloo

Total word count of the day: 1756

2006-12-12T14:29:00.000+01:00

Sorry peeps but I’m gonna start being a proper Nicky from big brother and complain about air conditioning! It’s like 15 degrees Celsius outside so it’s already beyond comprehensible freezing, so what do they do in work? Open the bleedin window and the air conditioning at the same time. It’s like being back home, with my mums husband, who, when it was snowing heavily, refused to put any sort of heating on and had the windows open AND tried to make me look like I was the crazy one for having to wear my coat indoors, especially whilst I was eating my tea, seriously, its no wonder I am how I am.

Also Cody sent me an e-mail and said if I put down on here that he was a bummer, then he would shit all over me, I replied, of course you would shit all over me, that’s what happens to gay boys, they loose the elasticity in their anus’ and therefore do not have any control over this bodily function, hence the need for butt plugs, ah Cody, bless him. Be comfortable with who you are, there is no shame in it!!!!!!!!!!!!! (By the way I have to quickly put a disclaimer here, that Cody has never told me that he is gay, nor is probably likely to, these are just the thoughts and opinions of little old me)

Oh yeah, by the way I will have to keep putting disclaimers, I have managed to get hold of an English copy of Cosmopolitan, in the old English court there, I know I should be reading in Spanish, but this was for the 5-6 hour coach journey to Madrid, so I think I should be forgiven. Anyway there was an article in there about blogs, and it was saying about the law of blogging about work as some people can get fired, especially one man who called his boss a sandal wearing bastard, although I think that his boss should have seen the funny side of this, as I did! So I’m going to have to go back over my blog and change a shit load of people’s names. Not going to change the names of my friends though, although I might have to delete things that have happened. Oops. Or I will have to write disclaimers like the one above, fookin hell, who knew an online diary could cause so much trouble, and as I always seem to be in trouble, it would probably happen to me.

Although, I don’t think anyone actually reads this, no one leaves comments, or sends me e-mails to say they have read it. And there are some people out there whose blogs get read by hundreds and I dunno how they do it as some of them are on the same site as me and in all honesty prob not as interesting as mine, as to be honest, it has just dawned on me that I have a crazy life, and crazy things always happen to me. That’s exactly what my housemate said yesterday to me about my stories of Madrid; I didn’t think anything of my trip until she pointed out that in all her 34 years of living in Spain, she has never come across any of the experiences I have. So I dunno what on earth is wrong with me, I realise I am the biggest loser going but I don’t see why people have a problem with this or have to interfere, I’m quite happy as I am. Hmph.

Anyway, getting back to my trip in Madrid. Had a ball, and it was nice to go to Leanne’s for a change, as she always comes to mine. I almost missed the bus on the way there. I was planning to walk but it was half 11 and my coach was at 12:15, so it normally takes 45 mins at the most to walk, but was thinking it would have been even longer with my suitcase so I got a taxi. Well in all my life, normally in a taxi I would get there in like 15 mins, so then in my mind I was thinking I would have time to get something to eat, as I had had no actual breakfast, but lo and behold, Castellón knew Laura was coming. There was bleedin traffic everywhere; the whole city was at a standstill. It was a 5-day fiesta I suppose, people were travelling to other places. So it took me like 45 mins to get to the train station and when I got there the doors were just about to close, but there was someone else who was late as well and they were ahead of me so they stopped the coach. So gets on the coach and I find my seat…

I am not happy. I am seriously going to put in a strong worded letter to auto res to suggest that the next time I buy a ticket they do a background check on the person who will be sitting next to me. I mean, in all my life, I dunno which time I would say was the most traumatising, but this one defo goes on the list. He was dead fat, with an I-dunno-what kind of fashion sense, for a start, and he had a white baseball cap, that was absolutely filthy that it wasn’t white no more. And he still had a bum fluff moustache that looked like he had never shaved it since it grew in puberty, but in all honesty the man looked like he was in his 30’s so he really should have known better. Now I hope after I write this that it doesn’t turn out that this man is disabled, as at one point I did think that. For the purposes of this blog, lets call him…Gary. Anyway, he sat there the entire 5 and a half hour journey and just stared and smiled at me with dreamy eyes. I, on the other hand, turned my attention towards a heat magazine that my Pauli had so kindly brought me and put my music on to try and block everything out.

We ended up stopping at a service station, and can I just mention that there really isn’t anything between Castellón and Madrid, just baron land. And this service station looked a bit of a local service station, for local people, if you get what I mean. Seriously, inbred really wasn’t the word. And since there is nothing between Madrid and Castellón and this service station was exactly half way between the two, where on earth did people travel from? Hmm, turning into a bit of a horror movie me thinks. So I had a tortilla butty, gonna miss those to death when I leave here, but I didn’t have a can a can’t ha ha ha! Anyway we was told half an hour, and after I had eaten and smoked myself stupid made my way back to the coach, but coach driver was no where to be seen (see, horror movie starting already) but I’m, way too clever to wander off on my own “to try to be the hero and find the driver, then be a silly bitch and get myself killed, etc” and also by staying in a large group where we was supposed to, we beat the horror movie curse hurrah! Anyway the coach driver turns up 15 mins late, tsk, although I can’t complain.

So board the coach, and I dunno what on earth Gary had been eating or doing, as on the second leg of our journey, he took his cap off, that’s right he removed it, he placed it over his, what would be known as a “crotch area”, then stuck his hand under his cap, and well, there was movement shall we say, so I will leave it up tour own imaginations for the ending of that story.

Eventually get to Madrid, and Gary, the thick twat, went and left his coat on the coach but no way was I telling him he should have used it instead of his baseball fookin cap.

Got to Leanne’s house and she cooked me well nice food! Fajitas, sin sour cream, as apparently they don’t do it in Spain (get on to that story later). Then we went out, as I had to meet some Madrileño friends of mine that I did a language exchange with in my first year.

I wasn’t altogether impressed with Luís, he has changed, and put it this way I don’t think he actually likes girls anymore, as when he was in Manchester, he brought everyone a present back, but I got more than everyone else as I was his favourite person, and back then I did think he might have liked me a bit too much, but now I realise that he was grooming me. Clearly grooming me to be his fag hag. Silvia though, although she spoke really slow English, it turns out that she speaks really slow Spanish too, better for me as then I can understand easier, but she is actually quite pretty in a natural way, I never realised it before, as my attention has always been focused on her cross-eyes. Anyway we had a few drinks with her, and Luís decides to get off in the middle and go meet some friends of his, and I wasn’t invited! I travel all this way to stand and watch him hold his fag like an actual fag, and then he swans off with his friends when I haven’t seen him for 2 years! The cheeky twat. Sylvia was really nice though, it’s a shame I didn’t get to see more of her, but I invited her to Castellón (woo big thrill there Silvia) but then she was like no I’ll come to Italy! Although, by the way peeps, if any of you wanna visit me in Italy, free accommodation is just not gonna happen, I have to share an actual bedroom and go to uni on Saturdays! Er, hello? Human rights violation!

So she said she defo wants to come back to Salford, the poor girl, she really doesn’t understand, so I said when I get my house in 4th year she can come and stay there with me.

Anyway Sylvia went and then me and Leanne danced the night away, we went somewhere that played proper cheese, like total eclipse of the heart, which I was loving as loads of girls were proper trying to sing along, but since they was Spanish their lips were moving but not in time to the words, but they must just think this is how English people speak as they watch everything dubbed, dubbing does my head reet in. Anyway Leanne got proper harassed by all the men, and then some French boy was trying to harass me, and although he was good looking his friend was a reet perv, proper grabbing Leanne, so for her sake I moved away from the French. Also there was a really fit boy who I was trying to dance near but he looked terrified. Ah well. I do think the English men should take a leaf out of the Europeans book though, they actually don’t give a shit if they get rejected, they will still give it a good go though, English boys are too much hard work. Although, I have to say English boys have a lot more somewhere else, if you get me…..

Anyway, we was in the met station and there was a group, of what I can only describe as adolescents, on the opposite platform, and the filthy mouth they had on them! Chupa me rubia, which means suck my dick Blondie. So I was like my name isn’t Blondie, and then I can remember what they was saying or what I said (as per, was a little worse for the wear) but then they was like “we are going to kill you” “don’t be ridiculous” I replied (lol) but then they was like we are actually going to follow you to kill you. Erm ok, hopefully they will learn they can’t force girls to do things they don’t want. Anyway as we got on the met they were saying suck it to me again, bless them, I will give it to t hem for trying.

Anyway, Friday day was absolutely wasted as we was in bed all day sleeping, and trying not to have a hangover, although Leanne went to bed later than me, as she was having a full beast of a meal. Friday night came and this was the best part of my trip. WE WENT TO SEE BORAT!!!! There is an English cinema in Madrid as I didn’t want to go and see it in Spanish, part of the joke is his accent so the dubbing would have been shit, even though I would have understood, but still… And oh my god, it was the funniest thing since sliced pan de moulde without any crusts. Although some of it is clearly set up, like the prostitute and going to the Jew house, and Pamela Anderson was in on the joke, but her security and entourage weren’t, although I have to say her security were not the best and if I were her I would be worried, as he managed to get her outside in the car park on her own, while the security were lagging behind. But since I have seen this film I have been quoting to fook out of it, so expect this a lot when I’m home for Xmas, high five-NOT! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha lol.

Anyway after this me and Leanne had a bit of a dander around Madrid looking at the crimbo lights, and oh my god people, I have a bit of a thing for policemen anyway, more than firemen, I think it is their handcuffs and truncheons….. and me and my friend Natalie Baird (hi!)watch crimewatch religiously and any kind of true life crime programme to watch for fit policemen, and I have to say I am missing dearly PC Raj Persuad from crimewatch, he was looking quite fit before I left L Anyway, if you want a policeman- go to Madrid. In all my life, I have never seen so many fit policemen in one place. Castellón has a few, but its over between me and Victor L anyway I don’t know what the fook was going on, but there was all these police cars and then there was the most beautiful man I have ever seen, ever. All dark hair and muscles, seriously wouldn’t mind him manhandling me in the back of a police car!!! But he was far too busy to notice me. So we was watching them for a bit, and oh my god peeps, he started running!!! Anyway he eventually got into a car L and then about ten cars and motorbikes started driving all flashing lights and sirens but in the middle of all these cars was like a normal person in a normal car, they was escorting it somewhere. We have since been told that they was probably escorting a member of the secret police, but, way to go to keep them secret, they didn’t at all look conspicuous.

So we was having a little dander, and it was actually freezing so Leanne wanted a scarf we found this little shop, but they clearly didn’t have what Leanne was looking for, then the man came danderin over and was chatting to us, asking where we was from, just generally being slightly nosey. Anyway, they didn’t really have what Leanne was looking for so he said to us to go back tomorrow, as he will have more stock as today was a fiesta he is pretty much sold out, so we was like ok we will come tomorrow and then Leanne went to give the scarf that she was trying on back to him, but he was like, no it’s a present for you as long as you come back tomorrow and buy something else, so we was like of course we will comeback tomorrow-NOT, high five!

Anyway we ended up going for something to eat, but there was like a 15 min wait for a table, so we ordered a sangria while we waited, but the cheeky bastards kept letting the Spaniards in in front of us, we eventually got a table, but whatever we ordered they didn’t seem to have in. So we ended up with tortilla and calamari, but by this time I was knackered, so I wasn’t in the mood for food. Anyway, we get the bill and they didn’t charge us for the sangria that we drank whilst we were waiting, too fookin right they didn’t. So we quickly paid up and left. So a free scarf and a free drink, in one day, not too shabby, eh.

Anyway, on the Saturday…I WENT TO PRIMARK!!! In truth it wasn’t as good as I was hoping, they didn’t seem to have any nice clothes, and whenever I have seen Leanne wearing nice clothes she always assures me they are from Primark. But alas I could not find anything, so I ended up getting myself some silky nightie things, and Leanne called me a dirty bitch, but they wasn’t even slutty or anything, they was pretty though.

After my disappointing Primark trip, we went for some food. After debating between subway (oh my god they have a subway, I just love meatballs) and a Chinese, I decided on Chinese, as I think that is one of the foods I have missed the most, and Leanne assured me it was nice. Well in all my life, we went to the salad bar, they had prawn or some sort of shrimp, I cannot actually tell the difference, but the prawns were slightly bad peeps. When I ripped off the head, it made this kind of fart sound and all this liquid poured out. Hmmm delicioso-NOT. So after deciding to swiftly leave the salad to one side and get the main meal, big mistake, we should have left there and then and refused to pay for anything, but I though, ok so they made a mistake with the prawns. The food was actually disgusting too. And the thing is in the Chinese all you can eats in Manchester, they have labels as to what food is what, but this one didn’t, so I didn’t fancy eating anything that I didn’t know what it was. So I was sensible and stuck to noodle and rice things, still minged though. And, I dared Leanne to eat a snail, as everyone eats them over here. And do you know what peeps, she did! And before she ate it she was like, look at its feelers there Laura. Think I will give the snails a miss. Then Leanne couldn’t eat, what we really hoped was a kind of meat that we would eat in the western world, but we are not actually sure what it was, so we decided on pudding, as what could possibly go wrong with jelly and ice cream?

Well we was in the queue for absolutely ages and then we seen why. Some little fat kid had been at it with the ice cream hadn’t he, huge mountainous pile of ice cream. So he comes away and starts with the can of squirty cream. Well it’s acceptable for kids to go overboard with the squirty cream, as they just love to squirt really. But this kid just carried on, and carried on and carried on. Then he stopped for a second and we was thinking thank god. He stood, looked, and then decided he didn’t have enough, and continued. Leanne was like “oh my god where on earth are that kids parents?” And then I looked over and was like “there”. There was just this tiny fat woman hunched over the ice cream, proper scooping out as much as she could. Well me and Leanne absolutely pissed ourselves laughing. Really it is no wonder the kid was fat, the whole family was fat and they didn’t even control the amount of shit that he was eating. And eventually when it came to my turn to get the ice cream, surprise surprise no bleedin strawberry left, the little bugger had had it all. AND when I need the squirty cream, he had actually taken it to the table with him and left the first bottle that he was using, which incidentally was empty, for me to use and all this runny stuff came out, so Laura was not amused.

After the shopping centre we went to the good old English court there to get some more stuff for fajitas. I tried to get sour cream, but it seriously wasn’t going to happen. I actually asked a man where the sour cream was, but that was a mistake. I didn’t know the actual word for sour cream, but I told him that this is a literal translation, but where is the nata agria. Well, he just looked at me and said sorry I don’t speak English! Erm, for a start it wasn’t English. Then he asked this other woman that worked there if she spoke English and she was like no, then Leanne later informed me that the woman was walking off calling us wankers. Snidey cow, get a real job, instead of walking round a supermarket all bleedin day. Anyway, there was some sour cream in a jar, but it was like made by Doritos or something and it had onion, but I dunno, it just didn’t look like the sour cream that I know and love, so I showed this to the man and asked where I could get some without onion, and he just kept repeating to me that if there wasn’t any without onion, then they had ran out, I was trying to explain exactly what I wanted and he just kept repeatedly talking over me. So I lost my temper and walked around the supermarket swearing, oops, but he knew exactly what I wanted but couldn’t be bothered. And they seriously need to crack a smile in that place as if they leave it any longer their faces are going to break.

So Saturday night, we ended up going out to some place, that wasn’t altogether great, but it wasn’t terrible. And oh my god in the dance room, there were half naked men wandering around, who were meant to be dancers, but they really were only there to look pretty, and my god pretty they did look. And this place was a non-smoking place except on the 7th floor, but I could be arsed going up there could I, and also there were loads of people smoking, so Leanne just said to me just smoke here, everyone is doing it, so was smoking away to myself, and some cheap nasty little tart comes over to me started having a go at me saying “you can’t smoke in here, it’s only on the 7th floor” so I thought if I pretended to be stupid and not understand her, then she would go away, but she carried on with her little nasty self, so in the end I was like oh sorry but I’ve nearly finished it now anyway, and then she was like “me da igual si fumas”!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! EEEEEEEErrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr you cheeky bitch, do you wanna wind your neck in, if it doesn’t bother you that I’m smoking why on earth are you telling me, cheeky cow. And oh my god you should have seen the fookin state of her. Cheap and nasty all over. Her hair was frizzy to fook and a horrible dirty colour, she was trying to be blonde, but we all know that there is only one blonde that reign’s supreme!!! And I’m a natural blonde, so she was prob jealous because of that, silly bitch. And she had the nastiest clothes on ever. Her top was some nasty market imitation leopard print thing that you tell was meant to be tight, but was baggy and ill fitting. And don’t even get me started on the shoes that were clumpy and huge. And I notice she didn’t tell any of the Spanish people there to stop smoking and there were loads of people.

Anyhoo, ended up meeting two lads from Castellón, well Benicassim, but you know, tomato, tomato. I give them my phone number, but I’m not hopeful that they will call, it would be cool if they did though, as how random was that.

Felt like shit the next day, but had to get up early as my coach was at 3 and it was quite away away from Leanne’s house, and once again I nearly missed the fookin coach, I got there by the skin of my teeth, it was actually about to pull, out, and I was panickin to fook, there was a man in the station who worked there, instead of stopping the bus driver from leavin, he was mitherin me for my ticket, of all things, it seriously is just because I’m foreign you know, they can be quite racist. Eventually I get on the coach, driver not impressed with me, everyone silent and staring at me as I walk down the aisle. I went to find my seat, but you know when you have been running and you can’t see? Well, I sat in the wrong place and the man poked me, and then tapped his watch and he was like “what time do you call this its five past 3” hmm all of a sudden I realised I was in the wrong seat and moved. Was sat next to an old lady, which as it turns out wasn’t too bad and we was chatting away as she was nearly late too, and it turns out she lives right near me, we did say we were going to meet up but we never ended up swapping numbers. Anyway the traffic was really bad and the driver made an announcement that we would be arriving in Castellón later than scheduled, but even though I was five mins late, and that prob didn’t make a difference, and the traffic was bad, when he said we was going to be late, everyone just turned round and stared at me. Seriously, peeps on the coach, get over it.

Oh my god peeps, I’m sorry I wrote loads, but I haven’t written here for like five or six days so obviously loads has happened. And I still haven’t told you about the whole Sonia and Luís situation, me thinks she is going to dump him, me and my sister screaming at each other down e-mails as she is an interfering bitch and she is trying to ruin things for me as she is jealous, as where is her exotic working location? Blackpool, and she is trying to compare that with my moving abroad, I do not think so, you cow, and also I need to tell you about my discovery of churritas, my god they are everywhere, and capture the taste of Christmas, no word of a lie, and I need to tell you all about my first ever Christmas tree, it’s a disaster, but in a hilarious way! But will have to actually leave that until tomorrow, as you are all probably bored and it’s taken me two days to write this as it is! But just to finish I will point out that I have actually written that much, its like the length of a mini dissertation. So imagine if this has taken me two days to write, my actual dissertation should be a doddle (“~) hopefully!

But I would also like to add that this is a record for my blog, it’s the longest blog I have written, as you might now realise, I bet its probably taken you hours to read this, but hey it’s cheaper than a book, and if you pass this link round to every single person you know and get them to read it, so I have a cult following, then when my book is published, and I’m mega rich, I will buy a huge house in the Bahamas and also a private jet, with my own private pilot, so you can all use this house, jet and pilot whenever you want!

Random word of the day: quebrantahuesos = bearded vulture

Total word count of the day: 4774 words, oops, sorry

2006-12-05T14:34:00.000+01:00

Right peeps where to start? Well Pauli came on Friday, I was there waiting for him and he was first off the plane, which was good, we managed to get the bus and then the train home on time, went to Las Tascas but no one at all was there, for like the first time ever. Anyway so we just went mine had summat to eat, and just chatted the night away.

Next morning went to Valencia, just for summat interesting for us to do. Had a well top day, and you know how hilarious he is, and he didn’t disappoint. Although he wanted a paella but the place we went the food was awful, but no where else did tortilla or patatas bravas for Caroline and we didn’t really know where else there was to eat so, but it was still minging, so I felt really bad that he didn’t get proper food, and after all the promises I made him, I didn’t have time to cook him any decent food, poor boy L.

Anyway, after this, I thought it was best that we walked around and looked at buildings and stuff, as we didn’t really have the money to do anything. I loved it, the places we went was all on tiny little streets and squares that have been like that for 600 years or something, and I love places like that that has loads of history and stuff, and places that have loads of character as you know all these glass buildings that we have will not be here in the future and if they are no one will even like them. Anyway stop my waffle. We ended up going for ice cream and as we were slurping away, an open topped tour bus stopped…..

We all really wanted to go on this; so I enquired it was 12 euros for an hour and a half, and it covered everything in Valencia so it was quite good value and then at least Pauli would get to see loads, me, I can go anytime but he was only here for the weekend. Anyway the bus ride was hilarious, it was absolutely freezing on the top and none of us had jackets, and they gave us these bright red horrid earphones to plug in and listen, and you got to choose which language you wanted to listen to it to. I should have really listened in Spanish, as my language has improved so much, but I’m glad I didn’t now, as the English was hilarious. There was two guys speaking, an actual English man and then there was another man whose accent was so bad, not that I have seen the film as Spain is so backwards, but he had a Borat accent, so that in itself was piss funny. And the words that they used too! Like if there was a pretty building with a floral pattern, he would have a stern voice and be like “these imposing flowers on the building…” Or if there was a building with patterned tiles on the front, they would be like “these evocative patterns…” it was hilarious. Then I got really snap happy and took pictures of like everything so Caroline and Paul took the piss out of me for that and then Paul started taking pictures of red traffic lights and people in the street and zoomed in on their faces and stuff. But I do need to take pictures as I haven’t took any at all since I have been here and I have missed out on so many good memories because I felt too much like a geek to take them. Also there was a part on the bus ride where we went somewhere that absolutely stunk, I have never smelled anything like it before, and then for some reason they drove through it twice but this was the funniest thing ever, basically it was non-stop laughter, he is really funny.

Then we eventually managed to drag ourselves home I got absolutely pissed in my house with him, I had like a bottle of wine to myself, but I bought one for 50p so you know it was the most toxic one! But I had got pissed and I hadn’t done my makeup so whilst I couldn’t actually stand properly I attempted to do my make up, I’m so glad he was there as I was drunk and didn’t rub things in properly so he had to do it for me, otherwise I would have left the house like that! I also PAINTED my eye shadow on too, ah well at least I was too drunk to actually care! Also I broke a full bottle of my Britney Spears perfume. I had literally just opened a new one and because I was drunk, for some reason it just seemed to drop out of my hands, and since we don’t have carpets in Spain….. it shattered into a million tiny pieces, well a million no, but now my room stinks of perfume. I’m absolutely gutted. But because I got so drunk, along came the sob stories. Pauli seemed shocked about stuff, I don’t know why, I’m sure I tell people all the time, although, my closet full of skeletons!

Anyway eventually made it out as I wanted him to meet my friends, but I was struggling to walk and stay on the pavement and stuff! Ha ha, I really didn’t enjoy being that drunk, as my head was spinning so much and I had to go home, as someone barged into me and I got alcohol in my hair, and then it was sticky, but plus my head was spinning I couldn’t have stayed out any longer really, needed to sober up.

Got home, and drank like ten glasses of water, I thought I was actually gonna be sick L washed the bits of hair that were sticky too and went back out. And the only person that made an effort to come out was Sergio and his girlf! V. disappointing, especially when I have spoke about Adriano so much, and me and Paul wanted to rip the piss out of him and he didn’t come. So I asked Sergio where Adriano was and he told me he had gone to Benicassim with other friends. So I was thinking how strange that he has gone there and that is where Sonia’s brothers went for their birthday, so I was hoping please please please don’t be friends with them. Anyway I was putting this little theory across to Caroline and then she was like, “no he went out with a girl but Sergio and the others don’t know who she is” !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Well that can only mean one thing, if him and a girl who no one has ever met have gone to Benicassim together alone… And also it must be that he took her out on a date because if it wasn’t then he would have invited her out with us if they were just friends.

So how gutted am I? Especially the fact that I have been rejected by Adriano, and I wouldn’t mind but I actually don’t think he has had a girlf before because he is a minger the twat. I dunno now, I have to think of something really nasty to do to him. Forget anything like getting him naked then throwing him out on the street, he is v.difficult to get naked. I actually think he is gay.

Never mind I’m still in love with the cockney and I still have Ramon although I’m pretty sure that Ramon has a girlfriend you know, he really only txts me on a weekend, or if he txts me in the week its to make sure that I’m going out on the weekend, then he gets me drunk stupid, then he stays at mine only until like 8 in the morning then he always gets off quick sharp. I don’t actually mind putting up with this behaviour, as in England I wouldn’t but I’ve only got 3 months left and I have been here for 100 days today, so hardly anytime at all, and its only a bit of fun, but if I was living here permanently then I would no way put up with this, and I would tell my uncle Karl to come over and save me!

Anyway we ended up in ETTRO (never gonna get bored of that place) and we was dancing away having a good time, and then I looked at my watch and we only had like an hour left and I started crying, I had to go to the toilets and chained smoked 5 cigs I was crying so much. I wouldn’t mind but he hates Rome and I know he is not ok there. Like I always cry when Northern Irish Leanne leaves, but not this much as I know I will see her loads and I know that she has friends even though her housing situation has been the worst, but at least she has people she can escape to, Paul has no one L the Romans don’t know what they are missing out on, seriously. So fat face seen me cry, he is such a player, think I should steer clear of him, even though he dresses well. So I’m v.embarrassed that I cried in front of fat face and all of his friends the shame, but if he says anything, I’ll just be like yeah so what your head is huge, I’m surprised you don’t cry about that! Any way this week is a fiesta here, only on the weds until fri, so only a two day working week for me, which is nice, it breaks up the monotony of working life, which by the way peeps in no fun at all, stay young and students forever!!!

Anyway eventually managed to get him to the airport and cried my eyes out so much at the departure gate, and then his plane was right outside the observation window, so I actually stood there and watched his plane until it disappeared in the sky. I just wish he was ok there, he wants to live in Spain, I said do it tell them you are changing your language to Spanish and come and live with me! I wish he could though. I’ve really missed him now he has gone, and a weekend wasn’t long enough. But I’m off to see him in January in Rome and also we should see each other at Xmas. So that will be fun.

Also I discovered shops!!! In Castellón!!! There is a whole big shopping centre that is actually huge and it has an H&M! But I actually thought the H&M was a bit shit. It was quite expensive and also the clothes were not that ice, it was stuff that was too fashiony to even be able to wear normally, and plus they didn’t have stuff like makeup so I couldn’t buy an eyeliner.

Eww and I got home last night and Sonia was in, but I should have known smelly arse was going to come round I was trying to eat my tea and he absolutely stunk and sat next to me, so I was put off by this and then he was like let me try some of your food. And the one thing that puts me off my food is people eating my food, anyone, never mind an alcoholic. So I have told him about this before, and he seems to get upset about it but he never listens, so again I’m going to have to have a word with Sonia about this, and she will have to listen this time, as I’m getting really pissed off. So I was there trying to eat, but he reeked so it was difficult and then he just stuck hi hand in the middle of my plate and grabbed a handful, I would mind but I made Carbonara so it wasn’t like he had just stolen a chip. And he never washes his hands when he has been to the toilet, he also never washes and his hands are black with dirt under his nails, so I have no idea how Sonia actually has sex with him, I just don’t. So I obviously couldn’t eat my food no more, so I went to bed hungry and then he put on a Motorhead DVD full blast so I didn’t sleep either, but it doesn’t matter how many times I have words with her about this, she just doesn’t seem to care.

Random word of the day: chutre = shitty

Total word count of the day: 2123 Words (fook that is loads)

2006-12-01T14:30:00.000+01:00

Still nothing much has happened, saw that lad from London last night- it was him waving from the car the other day, but I still haven’t changed my opinion that he is an arrogant twat; he kept picking on me last night L He kept taking the piss out of my accent! Like I’m not bein funny but you are a cockney-nuff said! And he kept telling blonde jokes all night, and I was like, “I’m not stupid, I can cross a road all by myself!” And then he was like no you can’t I’ve seen you!!! Ha ha so that was sort of funny, but I will not succumb to his charms, I refuse to, I have never met anyone so arrogant in my life! But he is a sound lad though; he just picks on me. Caroline won’t even entertain the idea of talking to him.

Oh and this is totally un-Castellón de la Plana related, but me and my best friend Leanne was chatting about her birthday party (I was the only one who didn’t go) and she e-mailed me saying I missed out there was loads of fit geeks there. I thought she had said geeks, meaning people who came from her uni. So I start this big waffle about how much I secretly love fit geeks and spesh if they are a bit ginger. Well she wrote back and was like no I was talking about GREEKS!!! (her boyf is a greek) so you can imagine my shame right now, I thought we were sharing, but obviously not. And when I say ginger geeks: Bradley from is Eastenders is ok, but Paddy from Emmerdale would be a big no no, just to clear that up, and you can all mock me cos I don’t know a single one of you that has got a big rock hard boyfriend that will kill you with just his looks, so you can all shut up now.

Oh and who on earth is that gimp that has left me a comment you fuckin weirdo pervert I’m gonna jab my fingers in your eyes you loser!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Any big exciting news of the week!!!!!! Paul comes today!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Although he indecisiveness has pissed me off this week. What do you want to do food wise Paul? Oh anything its up to you. Well do you want Spanish food or I will cook you some English food with homemade gravy from scratch. What ever is easiest for you. So that now leaves me in a dilemma as I am also indecisive and that pisses me off about myself so two indecisive Librans together…..hmmm……suerte……..

Oh and Adriano came out last night (thursday) for the first time in two years. Speaking to Alejandro he told me that it was because they were chatting on the weds and Adriano said that he wanted to come out so Alejandro and Sergio were shocked and asked him why and he was like just to talk to you two…… and others……. Well surprise surprise he didn’t talk to me %@$&*! I was too busy staring into the brown eyes of that fit cockney…….wait no….. I was erm…..engaging in delightful conversation with the prissy bitches!

Random word of the day: Gorrón = Sponger!
Total word count: 547

2006-12-01T14:28:00.000+01:00

Sorry peeps today really nothing to report! Still can’t sleep because Pauli is coming and he is going to bring me Jaffa Cakes!!!!! Although he didn’t manage to get me Cadbury’s hot chocolate L so really what are the Jaffa Cakes without the hot chocolate. And I got a letter off the Correos they have a parcel off my Uncle Karl for me so I’m assuming these are all of the TV Choice magazines he has been saving for me so I can get up to date on my soaps cos I really don’t have a clue. The only thing I know is that Pauline Fowler dies on Christmas day and that is because her husband Joe poisons her!!! But seriously nothing else. Although I’ve discovered that I can watch the episodes on the internet, but since I don’t have it at home I will have to go to an internet café as I have tried watching them in work and it doesn’t let me!

Although yesterday, Christina was in a reet funny mood, I dunno what was up with her. There was no more water left in the machine, so I asked her who do I need to ask to change it and she was like “you change it yourself” so then I was like well I don’t know how, someone needs to show me, so she was really nowty and was like “how difficult is it to take one bottle off and put the other one on?” EEEEERRRRR excuse me! I eventually did it but if I would have broken anything I would have been in so much trouble.

Oh and I think that fit boy from London waved at me in his car yesterday, I’m not too sure though, but I hope it was him, as then it might change my opinion of him that he is an arrogant twat. Although he was an arrogant twat, he didn’t laugh at me or anything like that, and he was really nice to me, but they all take the piss out of my manc accent so he jumped on the bandwagon and did it continuously so like the first time it was funny ha ha Laura is a loser, we all know, right now shut up. He is just such an arrogant twat though, it does put you off him a bit, but I find all people from London twats (except my Pauli, but he is from Clacton, so technically it’s not the same thing)

But apart from that nothing else has happened!

Oh except for this translation I have to do- they love the flange! (Well actually I think it is me who is lovin the word flange a bit too much now, its borderline childishness!)

We have:

Flange bolt and flange nuts

Flange drip tray

Gauge by rim flange

Totally hilarious, but also totally impossible to translate.

Just went to check my e-mails and Pauli hasn’t replied to my 1000 questions, so I’m not excited about him coming no more- he can sleep on the street! I mean, I know I have mithered, but how am I meant to know what he wants food wise, and how he wants to spend his time here?

Oh and I just wanted to point out how shocking t he camel toe and the VPL is here. One of the girls in the office has actually come in wearing tight white trousers but with the biggest granny knickers on ever. Why? WHY? And Jesus, the camel toe, I so do not understand why women want to expose this exactly, and then have it squashed up into a funny shape. I have actually had some really in depth conversations about this with a friend who has informed me she would like to remain nameless, but they pull their trousers all the way up to their boobs, and that is the main reason for them having the toe, but I have tried on some trousers here that were a bit camel toe inducing, to b honest, and I don’t know how they put up with it, like wear some decent knickers and trousers, and stop exposing yourself to me please. And they all wear these stripy pyjama type bottoms and they are like a loose cotton and still they have the camel toe in these! It’s like my god, how saggy and loose are you??? Sorry, enough of this waffle but even the fit London boy said that they camel toe here is appalling.

Random word of the day: yerto = stiff/ rigid

Total word count of the day: 768

2006-11-28T14:39:00.000+01:00

Sorry peeps but I let the English down last night, I was kicking off and bein foul mouthed in the supermarket- but it totally wasn’t my fault, people just like to kick off with me, for reasons unknown. So I was there just trotting along getting my pipas and my peach juice (two favourite things here) and then I get to the till and the cashier was like “you are not allowed to enter the supermarket with any bag, I need to search them. So I stood there a little confused, as I understood her, I just didn’t understand why she was asking me this. So she repeated and I was still confused, I was thinking, have I heard her wrong or what? Then she was like “you don’t understand do you?” And then started laughing at me, and the lady behind me had a pushchair and shit loads of bags and they were both laughing at me so she said again that she needs to search my bags. So I was like “its only because I’m English and you think that I have been robbin, but I have a way better job than you, believe me, I don’t need to come in here and steal juice.” So she searches my bag, it only had magazines and some translations and stuff from work, Mercadona don’t sell magazines so why she thought I had taken stuff from there I do not know, and then the cheeky bitch searched in my handbag!!!!!!!! Well I never. That got me really mad, as no one has ever done this to me in Spain and I have never seen them do this to anyone else. It’s bad enough that when I go to Mercadona the cashiers won’t accept the money off me I have to put it on the counter as they don’t wanna touch my hand. I have got used to that but them searching my bags just took the piss. I told her that they only reason she is doing this is cos I’m foreign and she is a racist fat cow, and then it just went from there. She eventually served me but only after she searched my bags. I am so fuming.

But on the upside Pauli my best good friend is coming this weekend so I haven’t been able to sleep because of that, seriously it’s been like waiting for crimbo. Which reminds me, they don’t have proper crimbo songs here so I’m going to have to get mother (after all she owes me A LOT) to send me a copy of everything from Mariah Carey’s classic, all I want fro Christmas, to Slade So here it is merry Christmas, as I miss the Christmas in England, its not quite the same celebrating with sunshine and Palm trees, and the only Christmas songs they have here are the carols, so you know I’ll be wanna boppin around my living room. I have a feeling that I will have to hide my advent calendar as I’m pretty sure that smelly arse will spot it and want to eat all of the chocolates in it. And Sonia laughed when I said I still put carrots, mince pies and alcohol out for Santa, but hey, someone eats and drinks it, as on Christmas day morning it has gone, and the carrot has its usual huge “reindeer” bite out of it. I’ve got really excited about xmas already, even though they are only just starting to sell xmas stuff in the shops and they are only just putting up the lights now, so they won’t be switched on until December-which is how it should be! And because Pauli is coming, he might have missed the homemade cooking of England, so I might make him a shepherd’s pie (everything from scratch) or a full blown Sunday dinner for the Saturday night although I think we have been invited out. Its Sonia’s brother’s birthday on Sunday so I know we are defo going for drinks for that but not sure if we are invited out for the meal part, although Pauli said he wanted to take me out for a meal, see peeps how nice is that, I never go with the boys who do things like this.

Oh I e-mailed Sergio and told him Adriano was gay, me thinks!!! lol! But he hasn’t replied to me, so he must be in agreement with me, even my housemate thinks he is gay, and when I have spoken to her about him, and last night I said to her that he is one big bender, she was like, yeah well I thought this, I just didn’t wanna say!! That’s a bit mean; I don’t actually think he really is gay, although he isn’t shy to talk to the boys….

Talking of boys, Sonia has like four brothers and each and every single one of them is good looking, but the only one I fancy and think is well fit is the only one who has a girlfriend, so out of the three single ones, I fancy the attached one, there must be something wrong with me. Can’t do anything out about it though, as it isn’t nice when people do stuff with members of your family really.

Oh and I’m going to knock KFC guy out he is actually doing my head in, he has just been stood opposite me whilst I’m writing this and just been saying hello in all these different child like voices! And he wants me to get with his son?! If his son is anything like him then I do not think so!

Nothing much else to say, these passing days have been quite boring!

Random word of the day: quebradora= dengue fever

Total word count today: 967 words!

2006-11-27T14:51:00.000+01:00

Sorry peeps this is going to be quite boring, nothing out of the ordinary happened. Friday night should have gone straight home to bed, but instead decided to go to the train station and the coach station to buy my tickets home and for Madrid. It takes 45 mines to get to the train station walking from my house, so I walked all the way there and then realised that I didn’t know my flight times so I couldn’t actually buy the ticket home for xmas. And then I realised that there might be a cheaper and quicker option to Madrid and I had forgot to look on the budget airlines to check prices to see if it is cheaper, as it is 70 euros on the train from Castellón to Madrid, and it is like 3/4 hours and it is 45 euros and like 4/5 hours on the coach, so I don’t think I can be arsed with either of them to be honest but I would go for the train as it is slightly comfier as on a coach I will dread getting someone who stinks or has some kind of fault sitting next to me for five hours. But if I can get a flight for roughly the same price I don’t mind the one and a half hour train journey to Valencia, as I absolutely love it there.

I wish uni would have sent me there now, and the people there were really nice too. It’s such a beautiful city. I don’t mind Castellón now as I have friends here, but I think I would have found it easier to adapt to a huge city like that than a small tiny back street town like this, but you get used to the fact that there are no shops or nothing to do. So my Saturdays are going to have more structure from now on its only like 3 euros on the train to Valencia, so even if I have got no money then I can go just to walk around as there are lots of buildings and tower things so I can just go to look at them (geek!).

Ended up going on Saturday, so that is like that first day that I have actually done something with my weekends except drink, which is quite bad considering I have been here for three months now. So went on Saturday cos Caroline’s housemate had a property fair of some sort that she has worked really hard for so we were going for that.

When we came out of the train station though I noticed the bull ring so was like, lets go and have a look at it and as it turned out there was some huge event going on. It was some kind of medieval market and everyone was dressed up in the clothes and they had like authentic stalls full of like olives or food that would have been eaten in the day, although, all the food looked plastic, but they assured me it was real, that it was just the style of that day, but no one would actually let me jab my fingers in the pies to double check. Bought mother some earrings there for Xmas, as she likes amber and there was loads of amber stuff, may as well. And you know she is gonna get cheap thrills and go around telling everyone they are from Spain. Anyway had a top time there, except when we first arrived there was a weirdo. Like I was stood there stroking a donkey (that really didn’t want me to, but he is a dumb animal he had no choice) also why is it that donkeys have the most beautiful eyelashes, I don’t think they realise. Anyway I was stood stroking this donkey and then some random boy was like you are beautiful, so I looked round seen a stunning girl so presumed he was talking to her, and then he jabbed me with his finger and was like eres guava. So I’ve learned here when people say that and you tell them it’s a lie, as some people here need glasses to say that to me, they get really offended and angry, you have to accept the compliment whether it’s a lie or not. Anyway, he starts asking me for a spare cig, so I gave him last dimps on mine, well, that was it, he followed, and he followed and he followed me, even when I blatantly told him to go away he fookin didn’t and then I did stuff like let him walk ahead and then secretly tried to go the opposite direction, but he was quick that one was, he was on to it straight away. So in the end I told him I was leaving to meet a boyfriend and then he was like, can I come too? In the end went for some food, and he didn’t follow. But you get this in Spain, if you are blonde, they will follow you and flash you and stuff, it doesn’t matter too much if you ming like me either, they will still love you if you are a blonde.

Anyway ended up going to this ferrier thing, I think it could have possibly been in Paterna, not sure though. Seen Olga, was very impressed with her display and then we had a wander round, but I was a bit bored to be honest as once you have seen one scale model of a house, you have seen them all. So I was wanting to go home as I had plans with my housemate but Olga had asked us for drinks and to have tea, but I couldn’t, and then Caroline started saying she was pissed off as I had known about this for two weeks but I said yeah I kept my day free for the ferrier but I didn’t know we were meant to be going for tea and drinks, but Olga didn’t finish until 8 and I had to get the 8:20 train as then that would get me into Castellón and home for about ten o’clock which was when I was certain Sonia had said that we were going out, but she actually said she would be home at ten to start getting ready together. So I got home for ten, but Caroline was not very impressed that I had to leave without her. But she was insistent that she had told me we were all eating together, but I told her that if I had known I wouldn’t have made plans with my housemate, and that she knew me and Sonia were going out as I mentioned it on Thursday, and Caroline never said to me then that we were meant to be going for food, so I think there has been crossed wires somewhere.

So me and Sonia got ready and went out together to meet her brother and his girlfriend. The first time I met her brothers girlfriend she looked hard faced but she was lovely and really chatty but this time she really is hard faced and she didn’t smile or anything, so I dunno what was up. Eww but her brother perved a bit and kept touching like the top of my leg and my arse and stuff, so maybe that’s why she was hard faced. Not my fault, I would be in the queue for the toilet or something and he would do it from behind so half the time I didn’t even realise he was there.

Although Sonia promised me she wouldn’t she ended up meeting Luis. And my god he was doing my head in so much, but he bought me a drink in ettro so I will let him off. But them two really didn’t like ettro, and I couldn’t see my friends anywhere so I tried to get them to stay with me until they came, but they got off and left with two of Luis’s weird Argentinean friends so I gave them my drink to hold whilst I went to wee. Normally I wouldn’t leave my drink with strangers but I thought that if I just went to piss they would get off and leave me, and it was only like 4 in the morning so I wasn’t ready to go home yet. So I went to the toilet came back and they had got off with my drink as well, maybe that was a good idea my legs and eyes were all over the place!

So I went in search of my friends once more and ended up finding them, they had only just come, so went and had a little dance with them (well I say with them, just Sergio as he is my favourite) and then I was asking Alejandro about Adriano (yes I know again) but Alejandro was saying to me that he thinks Adriano is a bit scared of girls (no shit Sherlock) as he has only ever had one girlfriend but for a long time and apparently she was horrible to him and treated him like shit, which is sad yeah but what is he going to do for the rest of his life never talk to another girl again?

So they decided to leave at like five as they had football at 9 in the morning so Adriano got chatting to someone and then Sergio and Alejandro said to me that they were going to go to their car and leave me and him alone so Adriano didn’t realise that they were gone so he had to walk me home. We actually had a really good chat (about the whole Alejandro and Caroline situation) so if Adriano is even talking about it,, really the whole world is talking about it! So when we get to my door no way was he coming in my house with me or no way was he even trying to kiss me or anything, so I have come to the conclusion that Adriano is gay. Seriously, he had plenty of opportunity to just do something, so I really have given up on him now, I really do not have the time for silly games, and also he has no reason to be scared to talk to me as I am the easiest person in the world to talk to so I just do not understand him at all. Its frustrating though, but Sergio told me its because he doesn’t know where he stands with me, but like he has never asked, so I dunno if he decides to talk to me or whatever, it might be too late for him!

Random word of the day: zurullo= turd!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Words you have read today: 1806

2006-11-24T14:21:00.000+01:00

Sorry peeps but I need help. Mar has just given me a translation to do, she swears to me it is in English and she wants it into Espanola. It’s a beauty tools sterilisation manual, so I suspect that this isn’t actually work, she is up to something and has come across strange instructions. Anyway she still insists that it is English, but just to reconfirm my suspicions, read the following and please help me:

Input the clectric power, electric power the conversion ultraviolet ray light, ultraviolet my the light disinfect, disinfect.

?The usage sen grectings the electric leakage aegis of packing to suit this machine before this machine

This machine is proper to the season to often keep clean, dry

Put on with the power supply that the machine went with shoud

Please check the machine electric voltage before usage if with be the ground charged barbed wire net the electric voltage to agree with to match.

Also I was given a translation (actually weeks ago, but then Jorge told me there was no hurry-hhhhhhuuuuggggggeeeeee mistake) but it is about a vacuum pump (?) and the funniest thing is that the instructions are only available in English, so that can’t use this machine until I have translated this for them, but it is really hard, and there are some things in there, well, they are difficult to translate put it that way. I have come across some sentences and they actually made me laugh out loud:

Don’t remove the non-recessed screws; they hold the motor flange in place

Remove the intermediate flange

Screw the intermediate flange

(Why does no one want to screw the advanced flange? Why settle for second best intermediate flange?!!!)

Anyway as you can see this is going to take a while, also to account for all of the laughter, I’m such a child but I know you are all laughing reading this, especially you Leona, I can see the tears now! But wait till you get to Spain the mere mention of your name is going to make them se reín a más no poder, me tronché de la risa.

Also today this is going to be especially long, I have so much to say, like always!

First thing is first FIT AUDITOR GUY HAS GONE!!! He is such an efficient worker that he got everything done a day early oh well, and I got my boobs out for work today as well, I knew I should have worn this outfit yesterday @%-*&^.

So last night, as per usual smelly arse was in my house, he is an alright enough guy, its just he has the worst habit in the world and Sonia finds them hilarious. Like last night he just took it upon himself to look in my dictionary, and Sonia had to tell him the alphabet as he couldn’t find the letter E. I’ll give you a bleedin letter E. EEE you are you tramp, get the fook out of my house! Although, he took my shepherds pie for all of his friends and now they are all demanding more, although I will blown my own here it was ssssssoooooooooooooooo nice, the only thing is I couldn’t keep it moist enough until the next day, so reheating in the microwave wise it was a disaster. Anyway defo gonna cook some more, I just love the compliments, it’s the only thing that saves me from being the lowest of the lowest loser, the fact I can cook well. Even my little brother won’t really eat anything my mum cooks him, but when I make him the same thing he wolfs it down and always has seconds.

Anyway, I will stop talking about England now, its shite there (with the exception of the soaps)

So last night went out as per usual to Las Tascas to meet with friends. And on Saturday I dunno whether I have mentioned that Sergio told me that Alejandro was in love with Caroline? Well it's no surprise everyone is.

Also a new boy on the scene, but not getting too excited about it, as it turns out he is English and we was having a dead good chat for ages, but this is the thing about English boys, I can’t work them out ever, so we will have to wait and see. He did buy me a drink and tell me not to go home early (it was quarter to 3 in the morning and I had to be up at 6) but I dunno whether that was a friendly gesture or not, so he said I might see him out on sat night, so we will have to wait and see!

Random word of the day: abarcar: to get one’s arm round (arm round what I do not have a clue!)

Total word count for today: 1381

2006-11-23T14:52:00.000+01:00

Sorry peeps, I’m just writing this just as the well-fit auditor who has been here all week, but leaves tomorrow L is bent down right in front of me. I think he has done this on purpose just so I’m forced to look, all though, it’s a very pretty sight! Seriously, so many beautiful men here, so little time, but I would defo recommend that you all come and live here for a while, it’s seriously like a pick n mix sweet shop!

Oh, and mother has been at it again. She hasn’t been sending me my mail, she has said that nothing has come for me, but I know this to be a blatant black lie as my brother has told me otherwise. Anyway, my point being, how fuckin cheap is she to not even post me stuff, the stamp costs like 50p, but she will not pay this, so she has saved up all my mail from the last month and I got a credit card bill, that I knew I needed to pay, as I bought my flights home for crimbo on there (still really do not wanna go home), but there was a few other emergency items from like September that I had completely forgotten about, but as mother hasn’t sent me no mail, I’ve now had my card suspended until I pay it, but since I didn’t pay it on time, as I didn’t have the reminder so now on top of what I owed I have to pay like 38 pounds charges for late payment, I am going to actually kill her.

Also, I have been mitherin the uni for months about me still not receiving my enrolment forms, as this is going to seriously fook up my student loan etc. They have sent me numerous copies, and even sent one by recorded delivery, which someone in my house has signed, but mother still tells me nothing has turned up. So I had a go at her for not sending me my mail and she goes and phones up uni, kicking off and my brother told me she was swearing at them (she has a filthy mouth, worse than mine, that’s where I learned it all from) so as you can imagine I was v. embarrassed by this shambles that I HAVE TO BY LAW call her mother. So yet again I had to have another go at her and then she was like “who on earth do you think you are talking to?” EEEEEEEErrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr excuse me mother who on earth do you think you are speaking to you tw*at.

Anyway, she eventually sends me a shit load of mail yesterday and I get my enrolment forms, that uni needed before the 6th of October I might hasten to add, and I get this letter: I note that an amount relating to unpaid tuition fees remains outstanding on your account. The facility for you to pay by instalments has now been removed and the whole amount is now due.

It is imperative that you contact the income section to discuss payment methods no later than the 24th of November 2006.

Failure to respond to this request may result in a Late Payment Charge being incurred and your registration for the current academic year being revoked.

If you are revoked, you will no longer be considered a student of the university and therefore will be excluded from attending lectures.

Can you believe it! I blame it all on mother as per usual everything is her fault, so now I have to spend a shit load of money phoning the UK money that I do not have, I hasten to add. Also I do not pay my fees, the LEA does as my mother is a single parent and my father abandoned me but I don’t blame him, I’m such a fookin loser at times, I would have abandoned me too. So they can get their facts straight, I owe them money, its not my fault the LEA hasn’t paid, although the LEA might only pay when they have confirmation that I have enrolled, but now I’m worried since I have enrolled so late will they even bother paying? THIS IS ALL MY MOTHERS FAULT THE COW. So have to spend my precious time and money sorting this out. I am actually going to physically kill her.

Oh and smelly boy was round again last night. I’m going to have to start having words with her about this as I’m paying half for food and he is round “eating” it every night. And he got all the leftovers from last nights tea for him and his friends so I’m going to tell her I will pay a third for the food or I might even suggest that I buy my own food as he is taking the leftovers for him and his friends, and I’m not being funny but this is not the first time it has happened.

I cooked shepherds pie from scratch last night, gravy and everything-from scratch- that’s right peeps, not just a pretty face I can cook as well- tell all your friends! Anyway it went down storm and smelly arse even ate two plates of it, I actually mean he ate, which is a first for him, and Sonia wants to invite all of her friends round so they can try it too, even I loved it! But this is why I’m pissed off; smelly arse got to take the leftovers! Why the fook, he needs to get a job and start paying for the food. See I don’t know why girls like Sonia find the unemployed attractive, I would much rather be with someone for their dinero!

Sorry I just have to note that fit auditor has bent over in front of me twice since I started writing this, and he has just seen what I have written so I hope he doesn’t understand English, although I don’t know at the minute he is smirking at me (“~) I hope he doesn’t realise I have been gawping at him, although he probably has as I am no way subtle about these things.

And the company that I work for has a factory full of men downstairs, ok the majority of them are old and mingers, especially colonel sanders (tell you more about him in a bit) but there are a few of the smouldering dark haired young ones who come and sit in my office sometimes, but I would never dream of speaking to them as I’m such a loser and they are far too cool for me L.

Anyway Colonel Sanders is a guy who looks like Colonel Sanders off KFC and he is always in my office- speaking Valencian (product of a backwards society) and he always asks everyday if I have a boyfriend and everyday he asks if I have a boyfriend and everyday I tell him no and then EVERYDAY he tells me he has a son who is also single and everyday I grit my teeth and smile (auditor is bent over yet again, I think he is loving this more than me! Although being bent over all the time sounds a bit homosexual!) Anyway colonel sanders was making fun of my paleness yet again so I was like yes you are very funny, I am white like paper as you pointed out, now please don’t mention it again. Realising that I was v. pissed off with him he then started telling me that he wasn’t tanned everywhere…….. and there were places where he was whiter than me ( I dread to think)then he just whipped it out and lobbed it on my desk! Eww and it was whiter than me and it was all hairy and covered in blue veins, I really did not know where to look. I just hope that he isn’t the type of man who wears shorts (well obviously not if the whiter shade of pale was anything to go by) as I don’t think anybody else should be subjected to that!

Sorry I keep writing these mini essays, if I put all this energy into writing my report then it would be happy days, but I have so much to say, everything is one drama after another, although I love my crazy life, and at least with me there is no boredom! (except in these essay things I write to you!) fortunately, at the minute I’m too busy watching auditor and talking to you peeps! Although I really should go. Oh and if anyone wants any perfume, there is a girl selling some really cheap in my work, I personally am about to purchase the jean paul gaultier one, its only 12 quid, so who cares if it is a fake, although I’m pretty sure they are the real thing and have been robbed from somewhere.

Total amount of words read: 1492

2006-11-23T14:48:00.000+01:00

I have just one thing to say today (thankgod I hear you all say!)

Happy 21st Birthday Leanne Donnelly 22.11.1985

2006-11-22T14:49:00.000+01:00

Sorry peeps, I never explained why me and Leanne was so late to Sergio’ borefest. Went out the other night with Sonia and she ended up staying out with her friends, and I went home as I had work the next morning L. So offski’s I trot, oh and the waiter from Don Pepe’s was following me home, then when I spotted him he was like come back to the restaurant and we can have a chupita together, proper begged me, and although the idea of this appealed, there was no way I was going on my own, to a restaurant full of people watching, this town is small, people talk, I already have a bad name for myself oops….. anyway he told me the next time me and my friends walk past we could all have a chupita off him, he doesn’t know I hang around with boys, so I think he would be disappointed that he can’t perv on girls the big fat perv.

Anyway when I woke up that morning I seen a man coming out of Sonia’s room, with her following him, but eeeeeewwwwwww you should have seen him the minger, he looked proper hells angels, with authentic handle bar moustache and everything. Anyway she was kissing him at the door good bye, not a pretty sight. But then as I turn the corner there was a man sleeping on my sofa (still wearing his shoes grrr)anyway as soon as moustache man left she took shoe boy into her room, she was bladdered out of her face and she has been depressed lately but I’m sure she was trying to ask if I wanted to go with her!!!!!! I made my excuses and left for work.

So gets home from work that Friday afternoon as I was expecting my friend Leanne from Madrid, and shoe boy was still there, the house was a shit tip, and there was food all over the kitchen sides and floor. Well, since this was the first time that this has happened I kinda didn’t mind, but wasn’t too impressed that I had to bring a friend back to this, no clean pots or nothing. Shoe boy eventually stayed the weekend and he stank, his hygiene really left a lot to be desired. And he was loud as fook. And he has an obsession with the Song your song by Elton John, so he clocked on that Sonia has Moulin rouge on DVD and he put that song on repeat the whole weekend-no joke. And the house didn’t get cleaned for the whole weekend, I wasn’t doing it, but I felt sorry for my friend who had to stay there. And he had vomited in the bathroom and all Sonia had done was put newspaper over it, I had to have my friend use that bathroom like that, as I clean vomit for no one!

And on the Sunday, I had just said goodbye to Leanne and smelly arse invited his friend round to our house to eat. Well I never. Me and Sonia had just done a whole weeks worth of shopping and I hadn’t eaten anything from it- he had “eaten” it all, and now he invites his friend round, who was a complete minger. He had long greasy hair and a beer belly. He kept winking at me and wolf whistling me in my own home! I was so mad that weekend like you wouldn’t believe. Anyway talking to Sonia and she was like no he was only a bit of fun for the weekend to make me forget about things, he is a disaster, he doesn’t work he is an alcoholic and drug addict and he smells (hmm attractive) and she thought this was funny-no its not funny Sonia you slept with a man who doesn’t wash.

So that night when he invited his friend round for food, I couldn’t bear to watch him eat as he can’t use a knife and fork, Sonia had to cut up his food for him, and he doesn’t actually eat, he takes ALL of the food and then picks at bits even when she cut up his food he ate the tiniest bit-with his hands. And I had made myself some soup from scratch and he ended up taking it and drinking a bit out of it and then was like here you go, so I eventually gave it back to him, as did I seriously want it after he had his dirty hands all over it.

Well that was like two weeks ago and she has been with him ever since, I can’t see why though, he does things like takes her to the mountains and shows her the stars, so she has clearly fallen head over heels with him, but if she asked me I could have done those things for her- I know where Orion’s belt is!

But I have hidden the Moulin Rouge DVD so he cannot put it on blasted repeat, the tw*t. But she knows he has annoyed me so she goes round to his house, so I have been in the house of nighttime on my own every night for two weeks, so I have been lonely as fook, so she eventually has realised this and tried to spend last night with me, but then he went and phoned her so she invited him round!!!!! It is her house though so I can’t really say anything, I don’t mind him in small doses, but the smell nearly knocks me out so now my house will stink for like days now. And I was just about to put an order in with Pauli as he is in blighty at the momento so he can get me some stuff that I really can’t get here, like lined paper and jaffa cakes. Anyway whilst I was trying to dial, I hear the sound of sick hit my tiled floors. It wasn’t actually sick, he had coughed up a load of flem in my living room, but there was a big puddle of it, and guess who had to clean it? –ME. Sonia couldn’t have done it she was cooking my tea, and I really didn’t want her doing it then touching my food, he clearly wasn’t going to bother to clean it either, he is borderline tramp. THEN when I was eating my tea, I had to be subjected to his non useness of cutlery AND he was sat there coughing up flem then swallowing it again. So really I’m going to have to try and say to her, imagine taking him to your parents house or your friends house with that kind of behaviour. I’ve told her that defo on saturday we are going clubbing as I know loads of eligible men (well, eligible…I really should check if some of them have girlfs really shouldn’t I?) that are clean etc.

Sorry I’m going to try and do this on a daily basis so there is less of this to read, as loads of good stuff has happened and I have forgotten.

I am going to Madrid in December, for the Puente and I’m going to Rome and Paris in January, cannot wait, but I love Castellón so much I never wanna leave, I almost never came home for xmas. And I was trying to come home for my best friend in the whole wide world Leanne’s birthday, but it was too much hassle to get to any airport that goes to Manchester and in turn that made it too expensive, but the truth is I didn’t wanna go back to England.

Today you have just read 1281 words!

2006-11-22T14:40:00.000+01:00

Sorry peeps that I do not write here as much as I should I bet you have all got bored waiting and don’t even bother to check no more- well this will be a true testament of exactly who is reading this, if you all send me an e-mail telling me you have read this entry!!!!!!! It’s just that I’m so busy with everything I forget or do not have time to write.

Anyway, to start off, after the whole Adriano thing, I was sat around waiting for him to txt me and he never did-he eventually did on a Thursday when we was meant to be meeting up as a group, just to tell me that he couldn’t come as he was working. So I txt him back, to initiate things as I know he is shy so I txt him back asking if he was coming out on Saturday and then he didn’t txt me back!!!!!!!!!

So Saturday comes and I had my best good friend Leanne (not Donnelly, she only wants to visit me in Italy-when I can’t have guests!) visiting me from Madrid, so Sergio was having a house party, me and Leanne turn up four hours late (reasons for this slightly later-BUT I WAS NOT V.HAPPY) and everyone stared at me and went quiet as I walked in as they all knew that something had happened with me and Adriano but they don’t know what, as, thankfully, he doesn’t kiss and tell. So anyway from this initial staring, I was ssssssoooooo embarrassed, really didn’t know where to look, Adriano was looking at me, but I didn’t want people to see me looking back at him, as I hate to be gossiped about, although, normally, I’m the subject of everyone’s gossip, sometimes I don’t help myself, I do such stupid things, I kiss a different boy everyday and sleep with a different one every week, I know I’m such a slut, but really its no fun being a good girl ha ha ;- )

Anyway, I grabbed the nearest available seat possible, even if it meant that Alejandro now had to stand, ah well. So I was chatting away to Leanne and she kept telling me he was staring at me, well I think this is a blatant lie as every time I seen him he was chatting away to Sergio’s girlfriends friend (not too shy then was he??????????) so hiding my slight hurt (as I’m really not that bothered, I still have Ramon, Victor, Vincent et al.!) I was all breezy like, yeah whatever kind of thing.

And the thing with Sergio’s girlfriend Alma and her friends, god love Alma, but her and her friends are a bit more quiet than me and more, well lets say….conservative (or boring). They wear like polo neck jumpers with waistcoats- a little bit Monica Gellar in the very first series of friends. And they are all a bit like, “oh lets sit around giggling about boys whilst we drink this vintage bottle of wine and then comment about it” Ooh and they would never dream of holding a boys hand on the first date. I shouldn’t really slag them as I don’t know them that well and they have been nice to me so far.

Anyway they are all like that and then I come a long loud as fook with my boobs out like WA HEY. I get pissed out of my face and embarrass myself and talk quite vulgar for a girl, so when I seen Adriano chatting to Alma’s friend I thought that they are maybe more suited than me and Adriano would be, as he is terrified of talking to me for some reason and he found it easier to talk to her as he chatted away to her the whole night, so I think he prefers her. Anyway, party was dull and boring so when it finished everyone decided to go to my new second home-ETTRO. Bummin this club as it stays open until 7 en la mañana and the whole of Castellón goes (well that’s not really too difficult)the music leaves a lot to be desired (if I hear walking on sunshine one more time) but you have a laugh there and I have my favourite bar people who give me freebies or top the alcohol up to an unimaginable level-seriously, I have been told it is an embarrassment when I stagger home of a Sunday morning. Seriously when I get back to England, everything is going to seem so shite.

Anyway back to the Adriano thing, when we was walking Alma and her friend that I think Adriano is in love with were linking, giggling away, so I think that Alma is going to set them two up- but listen prissy bitch, if I wanted Adriano I could have him long time ago! Anyway, I digress, prissy bitch ended up going home ha ha, we was in the club and Adriano didn’t speak to me all night, Sergio came up to me to ask what the craic was so I told him that he doesn’t speak to me and I’m entertaining a friend and it is rude for me to leave her just to go and have a difficult conversation with him. I know what you are all saying, if he doesn’t speak then what do I see in him and what is the point etc. but let me tell you that my plans for him didn’t involve no talking!

ANYWAY, I’m annoying myself now. Sergio was just saying yeah he sent you a txt, and I was like one txt four days later, I had moved on and the little shit stirrer (although I love Sergio, but was really drunk on Saturday and ended up telling him my papa don’t preach phase of my life, and I’m so ashamed of my dirty self that I hope he doesn’t remember and if he does I hope he doesn’t tell anyone and for all those of you who don’t know-don’t ask me) so Sergio ran back to Adriano and told him everything I had said in my little rant and THEN Adriano actually came up to me and stood there for ages going “err” “err” then he was like Sergio has told me (all of this in Spanish by the way) Sergio told me that you and I bronca. Well I didn’t have a clue what he had said to me as I didn’t understand the word Bronca, and normally he is so good at explaining things in Spanish if I don’t know something , but all he kept saying was “haber…..err……bronca?” what the fook and then I kept telling him I didn’t understand and all he kept saying was bronca to me, then I asked Leanne if she understood and once again he kept repeating the word bronca to her. In the end he actually tried to explain the word bronca to me but then a song that I love came on so I just grabbed Leanne’s arm and told her we was going to dance quick sharpish to get away from him, but he was mid sentence to me when I did this, so that was slightly bad of me.

Anyway I was dancing away and he came downstairs to follow/stalk me, and at that moment I bumped into Ramon, not seen him for time, just to recap he is the teacher……………that still lives at home with his parents… But still. So I fooked off to talk to him so ended up leaving Leanne on her own (sorry!) so Adriano was watching me chat away to him all night, but do you see how easy it is boy, well I say boy, Adriano is actually shockingly 31 years old and he still can’t talk to girls, what a puffter. Anyway whilst I was talking to him, Adriano just kept repeating the word bronca to Leanne and nothing else, I think she actually wanted to slap him, she really hates him, just from this first meeting, oops. So I think Adriano must have seen me and Ramon neckin in a corner cos he went home without saying bye to me, I didn’t even realise he had gone to be honest. But that night, Vincent (more affectionately known as fat face) and Adriano were chattin the night away too, so I could only imagine what they was talking about. Although this Saturday just passed I was actually finding fat face quite attractive. So he is on my radar for next Saturday, unless Adriano gets his act together, but I will save Adriano for another day I think. And plus I think fat face dresses better, but the thing also with fat face is after that time we was neckin he never bothered, but I dunno whether that was cos he had seen me and Adriano neckin, and as I have previously mentioned Adriano and fat face are friends, so it really wasn’t a nice thing that Adriano did really. Or I dunno whether he really isn’t that arsed. Anyway I have a feeling that Ramon will not grace me with his presence this week-that’s another long story in itself, but I have to do some detective work just to double check something………

Word of the day: colgajo= flap (of skin) unfortunately there is no translation for t**t!

This has been so long today you have just read 1575 words

2006-11-07T14:20:00.000+01:00

Well I will finally get round to telling you about the weekend. friday night was dark any rainy so I had a hair wash night in big comfy pyjamies and huge socks, and I intended to make myself a huge bowl of mashed potato and peas with gravy made from scratch, couldn't be arsed so just filled myself with freezer food, for these such emergencies!

Saturday night though, still couldn't be arsed going out as it was raining but already promised Caroline. ended up drinking a bottle of wine to myself in my house, then three rum and cokes (this was my housemates fault-she is such a bad influence!) then when I was out that night I ended up drinking in total two martini and lemondes, one malibu and coke, and two rum and cokes, so by the end of the night I was pretty bladdered.

I'm not sure if I have mentioned Adriano before. Well he is a friend of my friends Sergio and Alejandro, and I have seen him for a few weeks now but he never spoke to me and Alejandro and Sergio kept telling me its cos he is shy. But the thing is with Adriano is he isn't ugly, but he isn't instantly stunning, but he is a nice lad and he had summat about him that just made me like him.

Anyway, Saturday night when we was out he was proper chattin away to me all night, and there was one actual point when I ended up talking to a fookin t*at, long hair posh kid, who kept askin me stuff about England then when I told him he kept telling me I was wrong, THEN he started asking me how many people I had slept with before, and when I refused to divulge he was saying but you can tell me if you have ever had sex before- erm no you dick and what are you asking me this for not like I'm gonnna go anywhere near you arse wipe. anyway whilst this was going on I kept noticing that Adriano was looking at me, but then when I looked he looked away dead quick like a child, anyway in the end adriano notioced that I was a bit uncomfortable and came and rescued me.

When we eventually got to the club I was nearly passed hammered, seen the most beautiful lad in the world walk past, so I announced this to all of my friends, then just beelined (the shame) over to him and was proper you're well fit but in Spanish, slurred of course. It turns out he was kind of a friend of Sergio's so Sergio was like I will introduce you properly, but the fit boy kept saying stuff to me and all I kept saying was like sorry I'm pissed I don't understand you speak in English! No one speaks it here though, any way even after this, this lad said to Sergio I really like her so will you give her my phone number for when she is sober, as I don't wanna take advantage of her when she is like this (by this time Sergio had to prop me up!) Now I'm sober I do not have the guts to actually phone him, I'm a little bit ashamed too.

Anyway for some reason me and Adriano had decided to go to the toilet except we didn't actually go toilet, this is where I'm confused as Caroline had to fill me in on quite a lot of the details, I had totally forgot about that lad until she told me. Anyway, I had managed to prop myself up on a pillar to prevent myself from falling. and I was proper waffling away to myself, like you all know I do, and then HE kissed me. so we was neckin for ages (Caroline said for half an hour, but not sure if it was quite that long). Anyway apparantly fat face seen us neckin too, all night I was trying to avoid him and had managed successfully and this he sees, so not impressed.

Anyway Adriano eventually offered to walk me home, so then I was saying to him he might as well stay at mine cos he had football in like two hours and that he could kip in my bed, and then he was like "where are you going to sleep?", so I think I might have to let this one go as he seems to much like hard work. Eventually get him in my house, I kipped in my bed regardless he wanted to sleep on the sofa managed to get him to calm down and share a bed with me, andthen tried my hardest to have sex with him and he wasn't having it, as also this one didn't want to take advantage of me like this and he didn't want me to wake up in the morning with regrets, even though I assured him I probably wasn't going to wake up in the morning (I was seriously that comatose drunk, it was worse than my birthday in 5th ave last year) he still wasn't having it, so after bein defeated I eventually went to sleep.

In the morning though he kind of seemed embarrassed but I gave him my number and I'm still waiting for a txt. I hope I haven't scared him though, although, I've got to say I have never had a boy say no to sex with me before!

2006-11-02T14:27:00.000+01:00

Oh my god peeps i'm so sorry I haven't written anything for ages, it's just that well, I didn't feel like it, I've had my boss sacked, and it doesn't feel to pretty! Oh wait before I go any further I've got something to say: "Cody Ryan Pedley stop copying my idea to have a blog tsk" So I went in to the office of my boss (isidoro, but if you ask me if you name your child that you are blatantly asking for trouble). Anyway, I told him I didn't like it when he talked to me about sex boobs his arse his wife's arse his daughter's arse. Then he was like I didn't mean to offend you its just that your friends boobs are huge. And he continued to talk about them. so I was like it isn't normal for a boss to have these conversations with a girl my and he said yeah I know.

Then when I told the girls in my office they went and complained to Roberto Solsona (the son of the owner of the company who like started this company in 1950's). I didn't know they had complained, so I'm just sat there at my desk pissin about on the e-mail and he comes to me an says I need a word with you in my office. I shat my pants as I thought he wanted a word about me pissin about on the e-mail. anyway he was like I've heard you have problems with Isidoro, and then I said yeah but I don't wanna complain or create problems here as I am only a student but then he said that we don't think of you like that as you are a person as well. So I told him I won't go into detail but he speaks to me dirty and stuff. So he basically told me that I wasn't to go to his office no more and he was to have no more contact with future students, which I was fine with. So all friday we had no contact and everyone was like go laura, you stood up to him and I was buzzing.

Then at the lunch time, once again I was called to Roberto's office, but this time it was to have a meeting with his dad, Señor Solsona, who like started the company in the 1950's and he just explained to me that it isn't normal to have men like this in Spain and asked exactly what he had said, so I told him a few examples and, well, he wasn't too happy.

Then on Monday, oops, I finished teaching Oscar and came back and Isidoro was having a big disciplinary with señor and his son's and he was there for like an hour, and after that he came to his office and he was shuffling paper and ripping paper. Then in the afternoon the company lawyer came..................to sack him.

Man alive I felt so bad. However after they had sacked him he went to Jesus and said that this is going to destroy his family and that my friend is small with huge boobs and that I am beautiful so why am I not allowed to comment? So in the end he was his own undoing as he admitted exactly what he had done to the Solsona's. But then he was saying to Jesus that I have destroyed his family this is going to destroy his wife as she has said that if he can't hold down to a job she is going to leave him for someone who can.

Tuesday morning came in to work and he had come in as well to sign his redundancy papers. Then he was kind of hanging round and then when I went to the coffee machine (I always get sent) I heard Isidoro in the office of Señor Solsona begging for his job back, I mean how degrading a man of 52 begging for his job. But then strangely he just hung about all day playing on the internet (as per usual, I kind of let this slip to the Solsona's that he plays on google earth demanding to know where my house is in England) and continuing to work, then at like 4 in the afternoon, Señor Solsona came into Isidoro's office and was like what are you still doing here and then Isidoro was like I'm collecting my things and then Solsona was like what things you don't own anythings all these things in here are mine, you have one minute to vacate the premises anything you have left here we will send on to you. So then Isidoro came out of his office with a pathetic little plastic bag of his stuff (mainly food might I add, now I understand why he is a fat bastard) and for some reason he came into my office to speak to Carmen and give her something like eyedrops or summat strange, like he is strange, horrible little man. Anyway he was right in front of me and he looked at me and his face was bright red and his eyes were blood shot and he had been crying. So I felt shitty and so bad that I had made a grown man cry. In the end he got escorted off the premises. So I have ruined a family and I have spoiled their Christmas, as I know deep down he deserved it but he has three daughters and nothing is their fault and now they are going to have a shit xmas cos of me. Plus the girls in the office are saying that he will most likely have to take early retirement as he is going to really struggle to find a new job as he was sacked for sexual harrassment, so obviously no one is going to hire him.

Also where I live it's a really small town so everybody talks and everybody knows everyone's business so everyone knows Isidoro, and not one person has a good word to say about him in the first place. there have been certain times when someone was so angry with him, she took a sack of potatoes out of her car and attacked him with them and then smashed his windscreen. Another time when he got sacked from my friends company they all took their keys and scratched his car. And one time someone even brought a baseball bat into work and just twatted him- because he was talking about his daughters pubic hair, might I add.

Anyway the second he was gone everyone whipped champagne out and the whole of the offices were celebrating that he has gone and they have all been coming by for the past couple of days to congratuate me, seriously this is how much everyone hates him- Hitler had more fans. Really tired now, so I will write tomorrow about my weekend!

2006-10-20T14:26:00.000+02:00

Surprisingly, everything has been quite normal and I haven't really had anything to report. Manchester was nothing special. It made me realise how much I missed Spain and that there is nothing left for me there no more :-( moving here permanently is defo an option! Nothing to report on the Isidoro front neither, as I have been avoiding him so I haven't had to talk to him. although the odd few times that I have had to he tells me I'm beautiful as per usual. If I ever see his wife I'm gonna tell her. Also still desperatly trying to find out why he was sacked from Carolines company, but no one there seems to know why, so thinks me might ask him myself why...... Just reading that back I sound like a vindictive bitch- no wonder no one likes me!

Also spent the weekend with Rochelle in Barcelona. Didn't get to see fook all (well I actually did see things but not in the tourism sense!) Rochelle understands this. And while we are on the subject of Rochelle- She is one fookin party animal- I thought I was bad, but even I couldn't keep up with her! And then I spent the weekend bein a bit miserable as I was tired and I really shouldn't drink when Im knackered as fook as then I start waffling about "secrets"!

Random word of the day:quillango- blanket of furs

2006-10-08T21:08:00.000+02:00

Arrived back in sunny England (excuse the pun). Flight was terrible-trainee captain. We was up and down he was the most awful driver ever as when we were descending to land he was going at some super speed and flew quite low for ages we all panicked as all we could see was houses so it looked like we was going to actually land on some houses. And then me and Caroline discovered what our seatbelts were for as we landed and our faces were squashed up against the seats infront of us.

anyway away from the drama, ended up havin a really good night out as me and pauli sort of share a birthday so it was nice to have a drink with him. AND he showed me the video's of my birthday last year, when I was sitting on the floor outside 5th ave and was uncapable of getting myself home (the only time ever!). But I had a really short victoria Beckham style bob, and I never remeber having my hair like that, I always thought I had it long. It was quite shocking to see that as it all seems so long ago. Anyway need to go as my mother is watching me write this. she wants to do something on here but she is hanging round like a bad smell!!

2006-10-06T14:32:00.000+02:00

Me and Caroline ended up arguing AGAIN. So since we can NEVER settle this argument i'm going to hold a poll and I want you all to be truthful. Caroline always worries about how I get home. Never in my life have I ever had to tell anyone where i'm going what i'm doing how i'm getting, as the truth of the matter is no one actually cared.

So it was like quarter past 2 in the morning and there is no point getting a taxi as I live near to the city centre I can walk everywhere, also I can't really afford the taxi's as I had to buy a round of drinks in for people on my birthday instead of them buying me (except for daisy- cheers love, sorry I didn't actually drink it!).

SO! at the end of the night I told caroline that I was walking home and this is where the argument began. She seemed to think it was ok for her to walk home by herself but not for me. As many peeps already know, where I grew up was rough as fook and I was always avin to dodge the smackheads when I used to walk round there at 2 o clock sometimes 3 o clock in the morning when I was like 13.

Anyway will stop the waffle now in the end we ended up getting into a car with a lad that we know who had been drinking not sure how much he had had though, so in effect a drink driver was entrusted with our lives. If something was to happen on the street i could do something about it but if he lost control there is fook all I can do about it. If someone were to attck me in the street I would pepper spray them in the eyes- then would jab my finger in each of their eyes, get hold of their balls and twist them until i made sure that they could never spawn a clone of themselves and then take my shoe off and hit them over the head.

So the question I want an answer to is what do you all think would have been better to do- me walk home by myself or to have got into that car with a drink driver.So you all be honest as me and Caroline are both going to read this and whatever the most popular opinion is we will stand by this decision for six months. look forward to reading your posts.

On the upside, I got to Carolines and she filled her living room with balloons. Although I knew she was going to do this as I could hear her blowing them up whilst she was talking to me on the phone even though she told me there weren't any balloons, I'm not stupid. Also she had made me a birthday card as they are so crap here. It was actually quite good, she had good control of the scissors when cutting out the letters. and she also bought me some blowing bubbles, although I have no idea on earth what I'm going to do with them. I might save them for xmas. and she bought me a skipping rope. although it is for a child, it will come in useful, as you all know, I'm no gym bug, I actually hate going there i feel like a reet heffer, everyone is so skinny and judgemental. But I was reading that if you skip, for ten minutes, 3 times a week you burn like loads of Calories, and it's just a bit of fun too. and Caroline got me some cava, and a birthday cake of some description. The birthday cakes here are slightly weird, they just seem to be some sort of foam, or I dunno what, it is definitely not solid. It didn't actually taste too bad though...

Also have I mentioned that my boss is werid. I have been keeping a diary of all the stuff he has been saying to me, but the diary isn't as good as some of the other stuff he has said to me.

Diary of Isidoro-ism's (please keep out of childrens reach- May cause nightmares)

Thursday 5th Oct (incidentally my 21st)

am- pointed out that I had a huge spot on my face, well yes I know, but please let's not talk about it. He told me to use talcum powder for it. I said I didn't want to so he told me he has a spot on his arse because he is sat down all day and he has a sweaty arse and the sweat had caused him to get a spot and he uses talc to dry it up. He then told me that his wife has a big beautiful fat arse-I DO NOT WANT TO KNOW

pm went to him for advice about my professional objective. He told me that my personal objective should be to have a Spanish boyfriend- then winked at me. When I left his office he blew me a kiss. ergh.

Friday 6th Oct

am Thankfully did not have to go into his office as was inundated with orders but I know I will be in trouble for it later.

pm Trouble struck. I had to go to his office as I couln't find any work to do quick enough. He sang all you need is love by the beatles to me.

I will keep regular updates of all the weird things he says. Also, I've been finding all sorts of interesting words in spanish today:

sirimiri- Drizzle

chirimiri- Drizzle

chipichipi- continuous drizzle

jipijapa- straw hat (finely woven)

2006-10-05T14:18:00.000+02:00

Well peeps, its finally arrived-my big 21. Although it really doesn't feel like my birthday as they haven't invented birthday cards here yet, so it feels strange to come down of a morning (I say come down, I really mean go round the corner!)and there is no birthday cards waiting for me. AND its gonna be shit having to wait til I go home for my cards and presents as its past my birthday and well no one will care by then- except for my pauli he understands as his birthday is the 6th so we kinda share a birthday, although I think he has gone home for his actual b day.

Everyone has been really nice. I had to go round kissing EVERYONE (except sergio!)for my birthday. why the fook should I kiss them? its my birthday they should be friggin kissin me!

Also I dunno whether I have mentioned about my boss- David Brent is not the word for him. He pointed out that I have a huge spot on my face, like I know, but there is no need to point. And he insisted that I use talcom powder to dry it up. It didnt matter how many times I said to him that my mum has told me to use teatree oil and witchazel, and she teaches 3rd and 4th year pharmacology students in manchester uni, by the way. Then he started telling me he knew that talcom powder is the best thing as he uses it. And he told me he has a spot at the minute- on his arse! He then went on to explain that he sits down all day so his arse gets sweaty and thats why he has a spot.

Well this was to good an opportunity to waste, so immediately I told EVERYONE. They all pissed themselves laughing. So at the minute I'm well popular. Also he came in my office trying to shout at someone but they all knew he has a spot on his arse so when he was shouting everyone was laughing and sniggerin but since they were holding in their laughter they had tears streaming down their face- and he couldn't work out why, so all in all my birthday had been good office wise. Dunno about tonight as I invited two boys by an accident but they CANNOT be in the same place with me at the same time. I can't even run away as I will be wearing heels and the pavements are made of shiny ceramic tiles so I will slip everywhere and travel 1mm per second!

Anyway, I'll skidaddle for now. Will write 2moz and let you know how my birthday bash went!

2006-10-03T14:16:00.000+02:00

Ive only started writing this after five weeks of being here, but oh my god so much has happened. Its going to be a pretty long post this time but I guarantee you WILL NOT BE BORED!!!

Work is shite. My boss is a dirty old man. Did fall in love with sergio but that only lasted a day- I saw the light, man alive his pants are tight. I'll keep you posted of EXACTLY how tight they keep getting. he is a safe enough lad like but they get tighter and shorter as the weeks progress and now I can see his simpsons socks! all the girls in my office are really nice too, and im glad because the people make the work what it is me thinks.

Oh and the drama's I have had with my accommodation. I found a girl on the internet back in May and we were speaking on the phone every week once a week and spoke on the e-mail all the time. Then I cam to visit in July to see if I liked the house. I was a bit disappointed with the neighbourhood and the buildiang as I didnt have a lift or a balcony, but I was getting on with the girl, she is called simona, dead well so I thought it doesn't matter as the house itself was nice and extremely clean, looking back now the clinicalness of it should hav rang alarm bells, but I was just so pleased that I had a house and would not be homeless when I arrived in Spain.

When I got here I knew I was going to be on my own for the first two weeks as she was away on her hols. Best two weeks of my life without that satan spawned devil woman, and i actually chose my words kindly!

At first it was ok, then I started to notice things, like she was obsessive about the cleaning. Normally when I wash up I just dunk it in the HOT SOAPY water scrub away then put it on the side, bubbles and all. And madre mia, she nearly cried if she saw bubbles left on the plate. But could smeone post me a comment and tell me if this is how ure meant to wash the pots, as now I'm starting to doubt myself.

And when we met and we were speaking she said it was no trouble to have my family over to stay and to have my friends over and stuff. Well, that was a pure black magic lie, as my friend was nearly homeless in Madrid and I asked if she could stay for 2 nights, she said no, which at the time I thought was fair enough as you know it did seem a bit dodgy. But then I was thinking hmmm and I told her me mam was coming in October and I had a friend coming in December, and you know what she told me, "my house is not a hotel!" well I never, why tell me in the first place I could have them here. anyway more stuff kept happening until I realised that I would not have any freedom or couldnt have any friends, and thats when I started to feel slightly homesick and decided to try and find somewhere new. Neon impossible. until a golden angel (ha ha sounds sooooo gay, but until you had seen what was on offer in castellon you cannot judge)showed me her house and I loved it, it was dead cosy and slightly bohemian. I had to tell her straight away that I wanted it as if I had left it like twelve hours to decide then someone else would have took it.

then came the hard part of having to tell my housemate, I didnt wanna be mean so I just told her they had changed my hours so Im getting less money. Then it well sort of kicked off, she called me a little girl, well excuse me who was having the temper tantrum when things didnt go her way?

Anyway, she told me that she wanted €300 or the next months rent and bills (when I wasn't going to be there)so I said ok as I thought I woul have been moved out before she got home from work. Then ofski's she toddles to speak to her weird boyfriend (honestly she isn't fussy)and im pretty certain this was his idea, she then comes to me and says she needs some sort of security, I either leave my stuff here until I give her the money or I give her my passport. I handed over my passport as I knew the second she had it and was using it to bribe me for money that she was in deep sh*t.

So the next day after work went to Carolines and said I should go to the police station for ADVICE. Well, what a fooking farce. I was in there 2 hours trying to explain but for some reason NO ONE understood my Spanish. I must have spoken to about 15 policemen. At one point someone leaped in their car and whipped on their fooking blue flashing lights. In the end there was a woman who could speak English and she explained to me that they though it was an emergency and that I was in danger, so at last they let me go (oh yeah cos they were gonna detain me!).

Offski's I go to my house, packed everything and got it downstairs and then, out of a good will gesture, I offered the spawn of Satan €100 and proceeded to demand my passport. Well, it all bleedin kicked off she was shouting, saying I live in my own little world (what? she thought I was gonna pay money for rent and bills for when I wouldnt be living there). In the end I told her fookin straight you either give me my passport in exchange for this money cos ure not gettin no more, or I will phone the police and in the morning they will come to your house, search it top to bottom, and if they don't find it they will go to your work and arrest you infront of your boss and in front of your colleagues. and I will cause problems for you in your job. then she tried threatening me that if I phoned the police, she knows people here, blah, blah (does she know who I am? lol!)in the end I said you have two options. if I don't get my passport tomorrow I can go to the embassy and get a new one for like €60 the same day and the police will still arrest you, or they will come here to search for it and arrest you in your work. In the end she was like oh you haven't been here for two months? she knew fine well I hadn't been. She only changed her story when she had noticed that I had taped her entire conversation on my mobile (the wonders of technology)and knew that i knew what she was doing was wrong.

Anyway I am now settled in my new house and I love it. Will go for now as I have just realised that I have waffled far too much!