Eww peeps, where to start. The meal! It was fooking disgusting. We was trying to go to some vegetarian restaurant but apparently it isn’t open on Wednesdays. Wasn’t that arsed to be honest but then it was like shit, where are we going to go with Caroline. But this vegetarian restaurant has a sister restaurant that just does normal food, so offski’s we trotted. So we gets in this restaurant and the waitress was more or less like oh sit where you want. Then she trundles off and we thought, so, ok, she has gone to get us the menu and the drinks menu etc, like normal. Except we waited. And we waited. And we waited some more. Then some Spanish people came in and we continued to wait. Then we noticed the Spanish people got a menu before us, I swear to god they are so racist here at times. Any after like 20 mins of waiting we eventually managed to get the waitresses attention, and do you know what? She had completely forgot we was there! My eye she had forgot, although this waitress was completely on her own.

Anyway we eventually get the menus and the wine list, but they were only doing crepes. Apparently they cook a speciality everyday and that was all they had. So not to be judgemental I ordered the cod and vegetables. Well! The food was salty to fook. It wasn’t to the point where they had over salted it slightly; it was to the point that it was inedible. So Caroline and Olga egged me on to complain, as I shouldn’t really sit there and not say anything. Like normally I would but the restaurant was slightly posh and quiet so everyone would hear me complain, and I already feel like a dick living here, still getting used to the way they do things, and when I do something that is the opposite of what they would do, well, they take the piss, and then I feel like a nob! Anyway I eventually plucked up the courage to complain and she said she didn’t understand me, of course she understood me, I said the simplest sentence ever. There is too much salt in my food, I can’t eat it. How difficult is that to understand. Anyway I got Olga to explain it to her and then she said well by nature cod is a salty fish. Well I dunno, I’ve been eating it for 21 years and it has never been inedible before. So she went and cooked me another one, this time ham and cheese flavoured. Well this one was just as bad. It had a kind of sweet taste. So I couldn’t eat that either, so the whole night was a disaster. Even Caroline ate her food, so I must have looked bad. But it really was disgusting. And then they tried to get me to eat pudding.

But I’ve lost so much weight here, but that’s partly because I don’t eat much anymore, and when I do eat it is all organic this and that so it’s a lot healthier than Inglaterra. But I’ve stopped eating in work as there are two girls in my office who are proper snide and they have given me a proper complex about eating. Like there is always food in this office, someone or other is always bringing something in that their mums or wives have made. So obviously if everyone is eating these and they say to me, I’m gonna try it, especially since we don’t have these sorts of things in England. Anyway the receptionist and this other girl started saying that I eat loads, which I used to laugh about because I do love my food, but then they started getting really snide about it though and made me feel like a heffer. I dunno, can someone please tell me as I don’t know, but in my opinion, I’ve not eaten that much for them to comment about. Normally at about 11 I am starving and I have these nutty breadstick things that I share with everyone. So by the time I have shared I only have two left for me, which I don’t think is too overboard. Then for my lunch I eat a ham salad butty then a yoghurt a banana and then an apple or orange or kiwi fruit. So in my honest opinion I don’t think this is a lot but they say stuff and laugh at me, but normally I wouldn’t be bothered, but it is so difficult when you are in another country and don’t understand their culture so it has bothered me slightly and now I’m scared to eat in front of them. And also one time they brought a chocolate cake in, left it sat in front of me and they all ate it and left one slice sat there in front of me for two hours. In the end I was like what is this chocolate cake, just because I knew they was waiting for me to say something. Then the receptionist and the other girl started pissing themselves laughing, so I asked what was so funny and they each blamed each other, so I obviously knew it was me they was laughing at. And also Caroline is like a size 6 so obviously next to her I feel obese, but she says she is only a size six because she is so short, but that isn’t and she knows, it is still possible to be her height and be a plus size like me. She says the only reason I have to wear plus sizes is because I’m tall, but I know people taller than me who are skinny as fook so that doesn’t make me feel better. I honestly didn’t have too much of a complex about this really until they started laughing at me.

Honestly them girls are a bit snide you know. Like in Spain when it is Christmas, all these hampers come from clients from the bosses etc. And normally they only bring five hampers each time they come as there is 6 of us in the office I never get one, which doesn’t bother me as I am only the work experience girl, but the other day someone brought 6 so I thought that was really thoughtful, but Christina, the receptionists partner in crime, was like to the man, we only need five, but the man still brought 6 and then Christina phoned round everyone to make sure that I didn’t get anything, which I wouldn’t normally be bothered if I got one or not but the fact they went out of their way to ensure I didn’t get anything. And also my company doesn’t have an xmas party, really dunno why, so normally people from each office go out and eat together, so I have been asking about this and they keep being vague about stuff and then making arrangements between themselves but in Valencian so I can’t understand, I can understand a little so I know they are making arrangements so I can’t go, and I don’t know what on earth I have done to them, but girls never seem to take to me anyway and I’m not altogether sure why.

Anyway enough of them, as like I say they have never had the courage to move abroad to another country. Some girl in my office has been putting numbers into a computer for 12 years, so criticise me all you want as I bet in another 12 years she will still be inputting numbers into a computer, and lets see what I’ll be doing shall we…

Also people find it shocking that I don’t want to get married and would prefer to be a single mother. I dunno why, but this is the way I was brought up and this is how me and all my friends from school were brought up, so to me it seems perfectly normal not to have a father around, and we have all turned out ok more or less. Like Jenny has two children and she is a writer and doing well(http://awritersdiaryjenni.blogspot.com), and Leanne Donnelly is training to be a lawyer, so I could think of worst things that could happen.

Also I have that dreaded thing tonight where all them lads are going to be in one place at the same time. Although the number has significantly decreased as Ramon all of a sudden doesn’t want to reply to my txts

RAMON YOU ARE PISSING ME OFF NOW AND REALLY WANT TO JAB MY FINGERS IN YOUR EYES. WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE NOT REPLYING TO MY MESSAGES, WELL IF YOU WANT TO PLAY GAMES WE WILL PLAY THEM AND LETS SEE WHO WINS SHALL WE, I GUARANTEE IT WON’T BE YOU YOU FUCKING TWAT OF A WANKER, YOU FUCKIN VAGINAL BLOOD BUBBLE MONKY SPUNK FEATURES.

But I’m more worried about seeing fat face to be honest. I showed his txt message to my friend and she said he was making a joke (the Spanish humour…) so she said it was a really good one and I shouldn’t be worried, but to be honest I’m not worried about him, I’m worried what everyone else is going to say as they were pretty horrific.

And I’m just in the middle of trashing my house. Last night I broke yet another glass. I honestly do not know how this happened as I actually dropped a mug and I heard some smashing, but when I looked down the mug was in one piece so I was thinking thank god, but when I turn round… a glass had randomly just jumped off from the side, probably trying to save his friend, the mug, but died in this act of bravery. And then this morning I broke the shower. I honestly do not know how this happened either. You know that little cylinder thing that holds the showerhead? Well I was putting that back and the thing just snapped out of the blue. I think the house has a conspiracy against me you know. So in the time I have been there the following list is of things I have broken:
A blender (the blades just snapped, 50€ for another)
Tupperware (Sonia had some soup in the containers in the freezer and when I opened the freezer door they just jumped out and attacked me in numbers, 2 against 1, come on Tupperware that is hardly fair anyway they smashed leaving frozen soup that was starting to defrost on the floor)
A wine glass that broke when my back was to it so I have no idea)
A glass yesterday
And the showerhead holder.

I reckon the showerhead holder is gonna cost me loads. I’m gonna see if I can superglue it to perfection though, but I tend to stay away from super glue as I always stick my fingers together, man alive, that stuff is strong!

So I’m feeling pretty shit about myself right now L I feel blue L And Ramon is a complete and utter twat seriously, was supposed to be meeting him today and then doesn’t txt to confirm. What a loser. He makes me so mad; he only bothers when it’s the weekend. Like I have previously said though, normally I wouldn’t put up with this off anyone but since I am only here til feb that’s why I’m slightly more lenient! Anyway, if I have time I will put a posting tomorrow about how tonight went.

Random word of the day: llanero solitario = lone ranger (yep that’s me!)

Total word count of the day: 1953

Well peeps, still mortified, but I have calmed down slightly as it is fat face’s birthday today and I decided to send him a txt. I wrote: felicidades guapo como está tu cuello hoy? Which means happy birthday handsome, how is your neck today, which I thought is quite casual and since we haven’t spoken since the “incident” I didn’t think it was too full on. Anyway, almost straight away he txt me back saying: gracias! El cuello está mal aun. No me queda ropa con cuello alto. Nos vemos, besos. Which means: cheers, The neck is still really bad and I don’t have any clothes with a high collar on them. We will see each other, kisses. So because then he looked a bit of a desperado txting back straight away, I just txt him back saying, its possible I can squeeze you in on Thursday, its just that I have things to do, and then he never txt me back, so I didn’t get him begging like I thought I would. Ah well. We shall see on Thursday, although, still not sure I’m going to go as if I see him after Xmas then the whole incident will have been forgotten about and I won’t be embarrassed again! But at least he wasn’t horrible and he txt me back, so it’s something I suppose.

Going out fo tea tonight with Caroline and her housemate, my ouse mate isn’t going as she is still sleeping in a chair at the hospital. I also think that Luis is going to end up moving in with us you know as he is staying here on friday and I just don’t think he is going to ever leave, so bang goes any peace and quiet I was hoping for. Never mind I have only got 2 months left, well gutted about that, I just don’t think that Italy is going to be as good, although Simona told me that there is like an army base there and it is full of fit American soldiers so things could improve rapidly…

Random word of the day: taparrabo = loincloth

Well peeps, still mortified. Really you wanna feel my shame right now. Sonia was pissing herself laughing she said I should buy him a present, just something little so he knows I’m sorry. Then Leanne Galloway suggested that I buy him a scarf. I actually did think that was a good idea to buy him it as a joke, but then I really wouldn’t have the courage to give it to him, but it would be so funny if I did, but I’m not sure if he is still sulking or if he is over it yet and would find it funny, so I think I will leave it.

Spoke to Caroline on the phone, and she said because he was sulking that’s why he was angry with me, but she doesn’t think he is angry with me no more and I should calm down and stop worrying, but I still think it is his own fault for taking a skank home. Then I was mentioning to Caroline that he lives with his grandma and he told me his parents live far, he did tell me where, but I can’t remember. And I was saying to her that it was a bit clumsy of him to speak about me in Spanish and not Valencian, and I was wondering why he didn’t speak Valencian, then Caroline brought up a suggestion- that he could be Romanian. Well I didn’t even think to check if he was or he wasn’t and now I’m pretty convinced that he is Romanian. It sounds like I’m being highly racist, but I would make a lot of enemies here if I was with a Romanian, would make enemies, with the Spanish but also the Romanians themselves, so I might have to try and find out. Also Caroline told me she wasn’t going to Las Tascas on Thursday as she needs to pack so I told her to forget that idea as after what I have done there is no way I can go to Las Tascas by myself. Normally I would go and meet people there by myself but I know everyone is going to be staring at me and talking about me. Still so unbelievably mortified with myself though. I can’t sleep because of the shame. But if he chooses to take any old skank home then he only has himself to blame.

Random word of the day: ir de ligue = to go out and pull

Total word count of the day: (surprisingly 418)

Oh my god peeps, quite an eventful weekend. Friday night me and Caroline was meant to be going to look at the Christmas lights in Castellón and have some Churros etc and taking some pictures as I haven’t actually taken that many and I have been here for nearly four months, gone quick as a flash you see. Anyway it didn’t quite work out that way as in the end I said to her to come to my house, we can drink some wine and listen to the shit Xmas songs me mam sent me. So anyway we was doing that and having a good little chat as she had brought me some magazines that she brought me from England so we was having a nice little time, and then I went and broke one of Sonia’s wine glasses, it just fell and I was no where near it, but I keep breaking her stuff, and although I want my deposit back, by the time I have replaced everything I have broke it will be gone and more.

Anyway we decided to venture out, but we left it too late for Churros but we still got to see some lights and they were so pretty, especially around the town hall and in the centre. And I took pictures of the digital temperature and time things and I hate to say it for all of those who are in England, but it was like 15º at midnight. Eww and then we bumped into some reet losers. Well I say bumped into, they accosted us and was chatting away, trying to get us to go with them for a drink and then they asked for Caroline’s phone number so she was like “I haven’t got one but Laura has” grrr, anyway I reluctantly gave them my English phone number with the anticipation that, as it was English then he wouldn’t want to call-wrong! He has been calling me every night at like strange hours and he text me to say he is going out on Thursday to Las Tascas-which is where I go every Thursday so will most prob bump into him and have to run away.

Then on the Saturday me and Caroline went to a small town about half an hour away from Castellón as there is some sort of medieval ruins on the top of a mountain so we decided to climb it… Actually it was ok, it was a really pretty town, but it was weird it was like a ghost town, as there was signs of life, but no actual movement in this town, you saw the odd person here and there. And we walked past some orange groves I wanted to pick some, but Caroline was a bit wary, so in the end I didn’t.

Anyway we get to this mountain thing, and we was both a bit scared, it all seemed a bit too much Texas chainsaw massacre to us and then we seen two men with a knife just like sitting in some leafy bushes, slightly shat my pants so I asked them what they was doing and stuff, couldn’t make out a word of what they said, a lack of teeth was the problem you see, but they had two dogs and one of them was a puppy and he was so cute, but he started tugging at my 100% wool cardigan and wouldn’t let go the little twat. Anyway, we eventually get to the top, but you see, the thing is about this mountain, there is no direct path to the top, so we struggled and walked through prickly stuff and climbed up rocks and stuff, and through swarms of bees and everything, there was even cactus plants, that were bigger than I was, I’ve never seen them that big, it did proper feel like we was in the desert, but in the back of my mind I had visions about having to be rescued by helicopters and stuff, that would have been absolutely hilarious! Anyway, we gets to the top and it was some sort of watchtower thing, but some bastards have grafitteed all over it, which spoils it a bit. Eventually got to the other hill where the actual castle ruins are and I desperately needed a piss, so I’m ashamed to say that I crouched… ah well no one was around, and after all that is the way God intended us! Although I did initially crouch and didn’t realise there was prickly things there… ouch! Anyway on the way back down, I fell into a bleedin cactus tree, didn’t I! And I dunno how on earth I did it, as there wasn’t even a cactus tree nearby that I was aware of. Anyhoo, I had to pull the spikes out one by one, but they wasn’t even the worst parts, there are tiny little spikes that look like hairs and there are absolutely thousands of them but when you touch them, they are the ones that sting the most L

Anyway we made our way back home in order to get ready to go out. As well as having that reet geek phoning me in the early hours I had Ramon texting me (getting mightily sick of you, young man) saying that he was only going out for drinks on Friday and could we not meet then and then I had him phoning me at five o’clock in the morning, what the fook, still convinced that he has a girlf though. So on the sat I txt him asking to come out with me and he said he couldn’t as all his friends were in bed as they were tired from the night before, well,

1) your friends are the biggest loser twats ever, I have never wanted to hit someone so hard as that little group, and I don’t understand why he hangs about with them, but it does slightly make me think that he probably is just as much of a twat as them and this whole thing he has with me is just an act, and he still even acts a bit like a nob with me and
2) you are not going out to see your friends you are coming out to see me! Anyway so he didn’t end up coming but he txt me and asked if we could tomar algo on Thursday in Las Tascas, but by this point I was so drunk I just replied yes…

So, when I was in ETTRO, guess who I bumped into, one of the lads that I met in Madrid, and I have got to say hum-a-na hum-a-na hum-a-na. No way did I remember him being that fit at all. But he was unbelievably fit, but then I started talking to him, and well, that was over. Arrogant little twat. He doesn’t drink by the way but he is one of them hyper dancers. Hmm I dunno if things don’t work out with cockney, Ramon, fat face, and I have already given up on Adriano, gay boy, then maybe we will see about him.

Anyway, no one ended up coming out, no Sergio or Adriano, so I dunno what the fook was going on, Alejandro came out for a bit but then went home, I honestly think they don’t like me you know, as Alejandro wasn’t really speaking to me. Anyway…Gustavo was out, I fooking love that guy, I said I would find him a girlfriend as he wanted to dance with loads of girls but didn’t have the confidence and he said he had confidence in me that I would find him the right one, but I’ve got Leona earmarked for him, although he really isn’t good looking, he is the nicest person ever and he laughs at thin air like Leona, so they already have two things in common, and Leona, he is like a chemist so $ ch$ ching! And he wouldn’t go out with other girls like them French boys do, although, I’m pretty sure he might be a virgin…Or maybe he is slightly into boys, in which case I have Cody lined up for him, but I don’t think he is Cody’s type to be honest, ha ha lol Cody will absolutely kill me when he reads this, but since I don’t have the ganas, just zip back to an earlier disclaimer, as he has threatened to sue me!!!!!! But just to make sure Cody has not told me he is gay I just say he is. Yep, little old me.

Anyway was dancing away and fat face was out, and I have started to get a bit of an obsession with him you see, so I danced with him for a little bit and I dunno how we got onto this conversation, but we somehow mutually agreed that it was the best idea in the world to go back to my house, (it really was though!) so the inevitable happened etc. Then in the morning while I was sleeping, he just started walking round my house naked eating oranges, please someone tell me if this is normal. That’s when I kind of woke up as I had to tell him to either stay in my room desnuda or put at least pants on as my housemate could walk in at any moment, although if she came in and seen fat face, (by the way his name is Vincent, I hesitated the other day when Sonia asked!), naked in her kitchen eating oranges then she would have pissed herself laughing, I would have too, although I don’t think he would have. Also the Spanish boys just really do not have a clue, none of them wear boxers, they all wear briefs, and it is really hard to fall in love with them when you have seen these things, never mind, if I ever end up with a Spaniard-he will do as he is told! I’m sorry I shouldn’t be telling you what fat face wears that is quite a private thing, so especially you Leanne Galloway, if you ever end up seeing him-please DO NOT LAUGH! Like seriously you see all these briefs just hanging out to dry on people’s balconies, it is the most tragic thing ever.

Anyway, we was chatting away and stuff and he was saying it is his birthday on weds and that he is going for a drink to Las Tascas on Thursday if I wanted to come, well I go every Thursday so no problem for me. Then he went into the bathroom and then came out and was like “what the fook have you done?!” Taken a back a bit by surprise I was like er what the fook? So then I seen his neck…….FOUR HUGE LOVEBITES. They are really big and really dark as well. Well I am absolutely mortified with myself. I have not done this since I was like 15 and since I was pissed out of my face I actually do not remember doing it so its not like I’m a dirty whore who goes round giving love bites to people with big heads, (aww his head is slightly big, bless him, but he is still fit as fook). Well he was mad. I said sorry like a thousand times he just kept saying its ok, when you knew it really wasn’t and then he works doing something important es un comercio so he works in commerce and he has to wear a suit for work, and you know it must be really posh, as no one in Spain wears suits for work, so he has to go into work like that he said his bosses will go mad, and plus he is going to Tarragona, or Zaragoza tomorrow to meet with some V.I.P clients…oops, I’m so sorry. Not only this but he lives with his Grandma…she is really gonna love me now isn’t she?

Anyway he was sat there sulking for ages and then his friend phoned, turned out to be Sergio’s brother, and then fat face was thinking that I couldn’t understand and told Sergio’s brother. I heard Sergio’s brother going mad on the phone and fat face was like “well she said perdona, perdona,” mimicking my voice and then he said “I was loving her this morning but now…..” Well I never, I dunno how many times I have to say sorry, but there was nothing more I could do. So then he ended up staying until 9 but it was slightly awkward as he was sulking the whole time, no word of a lie. So I have been absolutely worried about this now as I am so embarrassed and mortified about this and now everyone is going to know, Castellón is a small place and people will talk for defo. Phoned Caroline but she doesn’t get just how bad it is. When he was leaving he was just like “right see you Thursday”. So I won’t hold my breath for him txting me.

But no I have a dilemma, Adriano, fat face, Ramon, that weirdo and Cockney boy are going to be there in the same place at the same time, so I’m thinking it might bode well for me if I choose to stay in that night…

I dunno out of everyone I love fat face the most, but after this he is well not gonna be happy with me. But anyway, it is slightly his fault as if he is gonna take any skank home, then what does he expect?

Random word of the day: ligue de una noche = one night stand

Total word count of the day: 2286

I've put whatever I've wri9tten in purple, cos you know, I'm pretty, and I have put my sisters stuff in black grr...

Subject: I'm serious this time I'm actually going to kill mother

You are going to have to sort mother out. I only have until Monday to get my fees paid, I asked mum to find the letter for me and send it directly to uni but for some strange unknown reason she seem completely incapable of following instructions and sent it to me instead, well I wouldn't mind but how on earth does she suppose I get the letter to uni on time? I told her to ask you to look for it, as she doesn't have a clue what she is looking for whereas you know exactly. anyway, she assured me she knew exactly what she is looking for, and then sent it to me, ooh I'm so mad. So, the letter arrived today, and it is the most random thing she has sent me. It doesn't say anything at all about my fees only about my loan, and it actually has on there fees: 0.00 so why she sent me that at all I will never know, she has clearly done this on purpose as she knew it was for my fees I don't know how many times I have to say fees in one e-mail for it to get through to her thick head.

So now, you will have to sort things out for me please, do you work in the same building as the LEA? If so could you get the phone number off them for the STOCKPORT LEA ?


First of all i don't want you to call her names like that-it's not nice listening to you say things like that. i didn't look for it as mum said she had found it and had sent it off so I assumed that it was correct. I will need your info to be able to talk to them. no i work in a separate building but will find the number and phone them. So just to make sure that i have got it clear, you want your LEA to send a letter to uni to tell them that they will pay your fees? I will also phone uni if you like to make sure that they are aware of the situation.
And we did try to get you flights home. how much did it cost you in the end, when are you coming home and do you want me pick you up from the airport?


Subject: RE: I'm serious this time I'm actually going to kill mother
no you tried to get me flights from random places that I couldn't have got to without a car or paying for a taxi, so were you willing to pay 100-200 euro's for a taxi? I didn't think so. Do you know what I will phone them myself as seriously no one can be trusted to do it, and don't phone uni, the last time mum phoned uni, they had a go at me and I think this is the only reason I am having problems now, as she phoned when it is none of her business, like I say I think she is doing it on purpose to ruin things for me cos she never did things like this with you. also what names did I call mum?

Subject: RE: I'm serious this time I'm actually going to kill mother
i said i would phone for you and have just got the relevant numbers and I will also phone uni. you need to stop with this attitude as i don't like receiving emails form you when all i get is abuse. And don't exaggerate-we were only trying to help you which you seem really ungrateful for. all i get is hassle from you about htings that are beyond my control. we are supposed to be sisters yet I feel like im talking to a five year old with the attitude that I get from you. what happened to being nice and normal?

Subject: RE: I'm serious this time I'm actually going to kill mother
its ok I have just phoned them and they first have to send it to mums house, so it looks like I will never receive it now as I only have until monday to pay the fees. And what on earth abuse are you talking about?
Its ok for you as long as you have your career sorted out, but whilst I'm still trying to do mine all I get is hurdles and one bad thing after another, you do not understand what it is like, you will never move abroad or have to cope with any of this when you are powerless to do anything and you are working for less than the minimum wage. and the flights you are talking about you were going to buy them, when I couldn't use the tickets but you wouldn't have bought me the one's that would actually get me home though, and what would you have done about me and my woking hours when you were just going to book them without my knowledge? DO NOT PHONE UNI

YOU ARE MISSING THE POINT!!! ok so we got the wrong airport, the point is that we tried and wanted you to come home. now I know we shouldn't have bothered coz nothing is ever good enough for you.
I have spoken to your LEA and as you're an ERASMUS student, it's the ERASMUS people that pay your fees for you and not the LEA so imp really not sure what letter they're sending you. let me know if you want me to help you. and just to let you know, I've worked very hard "to get my career sorted out"-you make it sound as if it was a piece of piss. I still had to go and work somewhere that I wasn't familiar with and whilst I appreciate that I haven't had the task of learning a new language to do it, you can speak the language so you should have some advantage there. you should take some responsibility for your own actions and stop blaming everyone else for the fact that YOU chose to do this degree knowing that you would have to go abroad for a year and therefore YOU are the one that should have prepared better for it. I don't want you to feel that you can't come to me for help, but at the same time you have to stop giving me all of this grief as I am beginning to wish that you never went abroad. you need to start appreciating your time there before it's too late.

Subject: RE: I'm serious this time I'm actually going to kill mother
I try to appreciate my time there but its the problems at home that stop me enjoying it, and phone up the LEA and tell them to get their facts right I'm not actually an ERASMUS student. And I'm starting to wish I never went abroad as now as all I have had is hassle of you lot and uni as all they want is their fees and once again I have to mention you never had the courage to up sticks and move to another country. DO NOT PHONE UNI.

who says that I wont move to another country when I'm older-just because I didn't need to when I did my placement doesn't mean that I never will
.well the LEA seem to think that the uni have sent them a letter in which they have told them that they don't have to pay as your as ERASMUS student. I'm only telling you what they told me. they couldn't tell me much anyway coz of data protection.

Subject: RE: I'm serious this time I'm actually going to kill mother
it is a bit irresponsible to move abroad when you have got yourself a dog don't you think, and you would never move anywhere like Castellon where no on at all speaks a word of English though also go round to mums tonight and look for that letter, I have limited time I only have until monday which means it will fuck up my loan and I won’t have no money at all. DO NOT PHONE UNI.

why is it irresponsible to move abroad because I have a dog? obviously I'd take Jessie with me, and obviously I wouldn't move anywhere where I couldn't speak the language as that would be stupid. I can't go round to mums tonight as I have to attend to my dog. no they wont throw you out-it's not in there interests to loose someone that just has one more year to go. you're forgetting that I attended the same university as you are.

Subject: RE: I'm serious this time I'm actually going to kill mother they will eventually throw me out as I haven't paid the fees, what do you think people go to uni for free? This is also exactly my point, you wouldn't move anywhere where they didn't speak english and have to use a foreign language everyday where it would be challenging for you, you are the same as all the rest of the giddy’s. DO NOT PHONE UNI!!!

do you know what, I'm actually getting really tired and bored of all this. non of this is my fault-YOU should have got your act together in the first place. you need to think properly about how you talk to people because at the minute you are rapidly loosing my support. I have tried to help you but this is thrown back in my face which makes me less likely to want to help you. You're missing the point-YOU CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE, or so you keep telling us so what's you point? you just have to be centre of attention as per usual so of course your problems are the worst-no one else ever has any problems, the fact is you make your own problems. I actually have to go and do some work now, otherwise I'll be the one who is thrown out.

Subject: RE: I'm serious this time I'm actually going to kill mother you are such a cow you do not even try and understand, and this is the exact reason I didn't want to come home for xmas you lot and your malicious ways. DO NOT PHONE UNI

do you really think you're the only one with problems? you need to think about someone other than yourself.

i'm sorry don't you dare ever accuse me of being selfish. also what are you trying to phone uni for they can't speak to you, how many times do I have to tell you all they will only deal with me, so how many times do I have to say DO NOT PHONE UNI

do you know what-you can sort your own problems out. I am sick to death of bailing you out for problems that you exaggerate and bring on your self as far as I am concerned I do not want to help you out with this matter anymore. if you're so bloody clever-sort them out yourself.

Subject: RE: I'm serious this time I'm actually going to kill mother Once again get your facts right. I only ever asked you to get the number for the LEA. I also gave you specific instructions not to speak to uni, as now she has spoken with you when I never gave her permission to and I have had to complain, so you have caused a whole heap of trouble, not only for her, but for me as well with uni and my job, and for your information, I contacted bridget on this matter in October before I came home, and I have been constantly fobbed off onto other people ever since, so its not like I left it to the last minut and its not even my fault that no one was forwarding my post to here.

Actually you can get your facts right-I can't believe that you are well lying and trying to make me feel bad for helping you and finally getting your problem sorted out. you're forgetting that I also know data protection laws, and for your information she did not tell me anything that was personal to you and I did not ask her anything that was personal as I did not want to compromise her integrity. I only relayed the problem to her and she phoned you about it. I can't believe that you think that I am so stupid to believe you I never believe anything you say for this very reason-you always exaggerate it.
if you don't want me to help you anymore then that's fine because as far as i'm concerned it' s not worth the hassle, and believe me it has been very much a hassle to deal with you when you are in this despicable mood. I don't see why I should bother anymore. we'll see how far you get when you are in the shit without anyone's help, and I know you will get into trouble coz you always do. so take this as an official warning that I never want to have to bail you out again when you get yourself into financial or otherwise trouble.
and Bridget was the one who said that you shouldn't have left it until the last minute not me, I just agreed with her. so just to clarify, do not email me anymore unless you are prepared to write a civil email coz I really don't care anymore-you will have to sort your own troubles out for once.

she shouldn't have spoken to you when I gave specific instyructions for her not to, so we will watch this space shall we. And I never actually asked you to interfere so I don't know why yopu did it in the first place. And for your information you have only bailed me out once financially as I recall and you got that money back so its not like I just took it off you. And I always bail myslef out of trouble by the way, I don't need no ones help, for your infpormation.

I have told you that she did not speak to me-I spoke to her, she said nothing then phoned you. you are one of the most pathetic people I know. And we'll see what trouble you get yourself into as no doubt you will have squandered nanas money by now with all the debt you're in. and besides you have asked me loads of times to bail you out.

For your information, no one phoned me so you can stop repeating your little self when you are talking, as per usual, crap. I haven't squandered nana's money, as you well know, I haven't received any of the money, how’s mum’s new kitchen by the way? and what are these loads of times that you have bailed me out??? You wanna think on how you speak to your sister and try not to let jelousy get in the way as some people have to spend this Christmas without their sisters and other members of their family, so how dare you call me pathetic.

you're the one who should grow up and think about how they treat their sister as you're the one hwo has started all of this nonsense. and what should i be jealous about exactly? i am perfectly happy with my own like thank you very much if anyone's jealous then it's you. i don't know where all of this has come from i still haven't done anything wrong.

Subject: RE: I'm serious this time I'm actually going to kill motheryou haven't done anything wrong? You speak to me like shit, and you can't evendeny that you do, and you phoned up uni when I gave specific instructions not to. I told you not to phone the LEA, as you wouldn't have a clue what you are talking about and I had already phoned them myself then told you not to phone them but you went ahead and phoned them after spcific instructions not to and started spouting rubbish about ERASMUS, the exact reason I DIDN’T WANT YOU TO PHONE. Then you phoned up uni and interfered when I gave specific instructions not to then I had uni phoning up work, a place of professionalism and you don't think I had the right to go mad, this whole tripis ruined by behaviour from my family in England. And having to deal with you lot, I thought I had put enough distance between us all when I moved country, but slearly Spain isn’t far enough!

you need to grow up and realise that if your trip has been spoiled that it is entirely down to you!!! like I keep saying you need to take some responsibility for you own actions. if we're so bad why do you keep bothering us to help you. why didn't you sort everything out yourself.AND YOU'RE THE ONE WHO HAS BEEN SPEAKING SHIT TO ME AS MY WORK COLLEAGUES AND MUM CAN VERIFY. SHE HATES YOU JUST AS MUCH AS I DO. YOU ARE DESPICABLE AND WE DESPISE YOU, YOU REALLY ARE A PIECE OF SHIT THAT WE HAVE TROD IN. You really are on another planet. if I didn't phone uni and the LEA for you then you probably would still be moaning to me that you're going to be thrown out of uni. I decided to phone them and sort it out my way as you're instructions clearly wasn't working and I was sick of being told that mum is stupid and that I needed to spend my whole evening looking for a form that you should have had somewhere prominent. I can't believe that you're slating me for helping you. you are not even the slightest bit grateful are you?and I know what this all comes down to, you're having a shit time over there so you think that blaming us will make it better. well just remember who your family is when you're really in trouble. don't think I'll be inclined to help if this is the way I'm treated when I do.you obviously don't read and remember things properly as it was the LEA who told me you were an ERASMUS student-I didn't make that up you know, and once again I simply told Bridget the problem because I was sick of you writing horrid emails pretending you would be thrown out of uni. you just can't stop lying. and you're only this horrible coz you know I'm right.and what did I say not so long ago-STOP emailing me at work, unlike you who seems to have forever to write and relay emails to everyone and his dog, some of us really do have work to do. I bet you're playing the right little victim over there telling them that we all hate you. well you carry on because it’s all true.


As promised I have put my sisters e-mails on there. How much of a bitch is she. I have read back through the e-mails, and admittedly there are things on there that I shouldn’t have said, but I still stand by the fact that she shouldn’t have interfered by phoning up uni, as she would have actually slapped me and then would have got my mum to throw me out again if I had done that to her, so I’m more mad by the fact that she thought she had a right to interfere with my personal business, and I don’t know why she thinks I’m having a shit time over here, I’m actually having a ball, as my blog will testify, so I think it is more a case for her wishful thinking. But can people honestly give me their honest opinions and tell me if you think I was the one out of order or she was. As I am obviously not going to admit to her that I am wrong as I think that I am right. I mean, how would she like it if I phoned up her work and complained that she was using her company e-mail to send abusive e-mails to me? That is the exact same equivalent of what she has done, as now I had uni phoning me e-mailing me etc to question me! All because my sister couldn’t keep her big snout out. I’m just so mad that she though she could phone and interfere and that I would get on my knees and kiss her feet. She has seriously got another thing coming, so watch this space for more e-mails, and slagging matches across the old correo electronico.

Also watch for dynamite fireworks on Christmas day as we attempt to share the same dinner table… Like normally on Christmas, I sit up stairs playing with my new presents, watching the Christmas telly in my room drinking up there by myself. Then I’m forced downstairs to sit and eat with “them” and because I’m drunk there is no way I attempt to be polite, but of course, Laura looks the bad one again. So then my sister offers me a game of trivial pursuit to build bridges, as she thinks she is the cleverest person in the family, but she hasn’t managed to beat me yet in a game. And she is so embarrassed and thick. Once I was asking the question “which pink and white striped cat…” and before I got to finish the ending, she jumped in saying “THE PINK PANTHER!”. Hmm I don’t recall the pink panther being striped, it was fooking bag puss you loon, but of course, I had to accept her first answer, with the hugest smirk on my face. And it is a small victory for me as well, as I once recall when we was in work, I was telling people that my mum is dead clever, she knows everything about everything. Anyway, my sister butts in and goes “no she’s not, I’m cleverer than mum” well clearly not if you can’t beat your little sister in trivial persuit. But now she denies she ever said that, but hello, there were like 10 people there.

Dramas, dramas and more dramas. It turns out Luis has only gone and caught a highly contagious form of pneumonia. So technically I should have been tested, and I phoned in work and told them I needed to be tested as I have had a cold this week and my chest hurts when I breathe and I’m slightly more flemmy than usual. And I did have the intention of going… but they have needles in the hospital you know… I’m slightly petrified of them. And also I didn’t want some doctor “fucking” juan “ah you want to take off you pantes and we can see why your chest is bad, eh blondie???” No I don’t fucking thinks so you twat flap, “twat flap? What is this? I know not what you mean?”

Anyway, I went to see him in the hospital yesterday when I was slightly sciving off work and I had to wear masks and gloves and everything. I only stayed for ten mins, but he was well made up that I went, as he seriously only seems to have me and Sonia. Gonna go again for ten mins and take him some grapes, although, Sonia found it strange that I would suggest to take grapes as here when someone is ill they takes sweets. You know sweets are going to get you better quicker! Ha ha ha lol!

Also I would just like to point out that does anyone remeber Marleen from neighbours, Cheryls mum? Well she went on like a 3 month cruise and never came back, and no one actually cared that she never came back and she was never mentioned again, especially when lolly got took off Lou! Shocking it really is!

Random word of the day: gruñido = growler!
Total word count: 3962

Shit peeps, I feel like the worst person in the world. I came home yesterday to find the following note:

¡Hola Laura!

Lo siento, hoy tampoco vengo a cenar ni a dormir, Luís ha ido al hospital esta mañana y le han detectado manchas en los pulmones. Lo han ingresado y mañana lo tienen que operar. Me quedaré con él todo el tiempo que necesite. Mañana te diré algo.

Besos

PD muy bonita el árbol. Ah! He puesto otra lavadora y he visto que la ropa no está seca. Lo siento. ¡Ya la tenderás como puedas!

Which basically says in English:

Hey Laura!

I’m sorry but I’m not going to have tea here again or will sleep here tonight, Luis went to the hospital this morning and they have found shadows on his lungs. They have admitted him and tomorrow they have to operate. I am staying with him the whole time as he needs me. Tomorrow I will tell you everything.

Kisses

PS The Christmas tree is very pretty. Ah! I have put another wash in and have noticed that the other clothes haven’t dried yet. You will have to do what you can!

So I feel really shitty, because despite all his faults he is a really nice person and you have got to feel sorry for him, as this Christmas he will be spending Christmas day alone, that’s if he makes it through, as to be honest with the amount of drugs he takes everyday and the amount he drinks, its no surprise they find things lurking in his lungs. So now it’s my fault he is there as I slagged him off to fook, and then someone in the great unknown has thought, right I will show her, and then made him ill. My words have killed him, nnnnnnnooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Although, because he is ill now, that means she will never get rid of him, although she knows it’s the right thing to do and that she isn’t happy with him, she will take pity on him again. So might have to put up with him longer than I thought.

Oh and I took my Christmas lights back last night. She wasn’t too impressed, as I had took them out of the box and I couldn’t put them back in again properly. Well like I do not mean to be funny or anything, how on earth I am meant to know if they work or not, without taking them out. Anyway she reluctantly swapped them, and the ones I got finally worked. Although, they are flashing lights and there isn’t a function on them to switch between flashing or normal. But the thing is they flash for like an hour and then they are on normal. But never mind they were cheap enough for me to be able to put up with them for two weeks. And the good news is I managed to put the lights on without having to undecorated it all. Forgot to buy some baubles though, nevermind will do that tonight. Also regretting doing my tree in red and gold, wish I would have gone with silver and lilac now, but I suppose red and gold are more Christmassy.

Also with Sonia not being there last night, I got to cook my own food, as she normally cooks and I normally wash the pots. Her food is gorgeous but I have missed the taste of my food and I cooked myself a gorgeous chicken lemon stir-fry, although a stir-fry with out any Chinese vegetables, does that count? It had leeks, courgette, broccoli green beans, peppers, onions, peas, sweetcorn and cabbage. And I wanted to put some lemon grass in it, but fresh herbs are not really found in Spain, might I add, unless it grows here, they are not big importers of things you see, and then I made my lemon sauce. And Sonia has a machine to juice the lemons so I didn’t have to slave over doing that for the sauce, how cool is that?! It was really nice last night, a bit strong on the lemon, so I had too cook it for ages which meant the vegetables lost a bit of their colour, but still tasted beautiful, even if I do say so myself!

Random word of the day: Vahído = dizzy spell!
Total word count of the day: 730

Before I begin, I would like to give Conor an honorary mention, as I forgot to put that I seen him in Madrid, and I think he reads my blog!! So helooooo to you!

Right peeps, where to start. The discovery of Churros I think. Oh my god they are like little pieces of heaven. They taste like Christmas, all sweet and nice and warm. And you can get them covered in sugar, chocolate, or you can buy melted chocolate separate and dunk them in. It’s hard to describe what they are. They are closely related to the pancake family, me thinks, however the dictionary says it’s a flour fritter. They are long stick things and crunchy on the outside and soft and heart warmingly warm on the inside. And I’ve lost a shit load of weight since I have been here, not that anyone at all has noticed, but I think it going to creep back up on me, as I’m so addicted to these. Every main plaza here you will get a stand, so that’s good for me, I don’t have far to walk! But then that is also bad, as I will eat them ALL the time.

And I finally bought a Christmas tree yesterday. It was only 5 euros in the Chinese shop- bargain! Although it is a bit shitty, I will only be using it for two weeks, before I go to England and I can’t take it to Italy and then England with me so I thought what the hey, it will do. Its quite a decent size as well considering that it was only five euros which in English money is £3.50 and I would say it is about 5ft, although it could do with being a bit leafy, but I’m gonna tinsel it up to fuck and hopefully that would hide it. I bought the decorations from the Chinese shop cheap as chips too. They are all read and gold, but with the odd bit of blue and silver, and I had to put a gold star on the top as I couldn’t find an angel, as I normally put both on. But lo and behold my 70p Christmas tree lights-did not work, and I know they are only 70p but it is the principal of it, I’m going to take them back tonight and ask if I can swap them then try my potential new lights in the shop, as you can’t really decorate the tree without putting the lights on first, but I was like a child and couldn’t wait so I have now decorated my tree sin luz, so now I will have to undecorate it all, put the lights on and decorate it again. I need more baubles, as the ones I bought were small, and the tree is bigger than I thought so I need to fill it out a bit and I think I should get some thicker tinsel, as once again I thought I was buying a tiny wee thing. Although my tree looks really tacky I am so proud of it as it is all my creation and also, I do love tacky things at Christmas, its what makes it Christmas.


Also wish Sonia would have been there when I was doing the tree but she doesn’t really like Christmas and she had to go to Luís’s house (poor girl) as he has a bad stomach (you should have been there to smell the smell in my bathroom that morning, I was nearly sick)but I’m not surprised as he doesn’t eat, except when he steals food off other people’s plates and the only thing he regularly has is alcohol and drugs. So she had to go round change his sheets for him as I think he might have shat in them and just lied there all day, I dunno, but Sonia had to take him food she had to go to the chemists for him she had to go and cook and clean his house for him, so I was a bit like, “hang on a minute Sonia, you do this stuff for him everyday, when was the last time he did stuff for you? When was the last time he spent his money on you?” And she was like yeah I know, I have been thinking and I’m sick and tired he drinks a 1½ litre bottle of Jack Daniels in a week and it is always me that buys stuff and that pays for stuff, and she is sick of her house being dirty and smelly and she has now realised that there is no future with him, but she feels sorry for him as he doesn’t have family, but I told her that she can’t stay with him out of pity. He comes here and eats all my food, and fair enough if he wants to eat all of your food that his problem, but 1) I don’t have the money to keep him in food and 2) it isn’t my responsibility to feed him. She tells me she is in love with him, but like, how on earth? He absolutely reeks of what can only be described as shit and he is an alki take like 10 pills a day, constantly smokes weed and he doesn’t work…hmm great catch there Sonia. And she knows that she can’t introduce him to her friends and family, so what is she gonna do? Have a secret boyfriend for the rest of her life?

Anyway, she was just saying that she is tired of having to mop up his piss and vomit all the time, and she even told me that she has to ask him to wash his hands before they have sex! Alarm bells should have started ringing there and then Sonia, I’m afraid. I said to her that I don’t think she is actually in love with him and that she just loves being needed, she agreed with me, as you know, I am always right. But as I pointed out, she can find a normal man and still be needed as she will be needed in a different way, like he will need her beauty and her smile and he will need her to make him laugh and he will need her company and her love. But she told me she doesn’t fall in love with these people, so something is seriously wrong with her, me thinks, as she is pretty and funny and everyone loves her so why she always goes for losers I will never know. Anyway so off she went. So was stuck in on my own, but it wasn’t too bad as I put the crappy Christmas songs on that me mam sent me and decorated the tree until like 1 in the morning.

Oh and my sister! Do not seriously get me started! My fees haven’t been paid so they threatened to throw me out of uni. But my fees didn’t get paid because mother was too stingy to pay 50p for a stamp to send them me, so in turn I wasn’t registered and therefore the LEA won’t pay out until you are registered. Big chain of events. So I got this letter saying they are going to revoke me, so I e-mailed big useless fat-arse-my career-is-sending-students-abroad-and-I’m-jealous Bridget and let her know about my problem. She then passed me on to someone else, who then passed me on to someone else, who then passed me on to someone else, etc. Anyway, eventually I was told that I would need to send in my letter from the LEA that confirmed that I was going to get my fees paid. I looked high and low for this letter, couldn’t find it, so it must defo be in my mother’s house. So I e-mailed mother to phone me, including this she has only phoned me twice since I have been here, all of the other times I have had to phone her. So she wouldn’t honestly know if I was alive to be honest. Anyway I explained exactly what letter she would need to look for, and then I said to her to check with my sister, as you don’t have a clue what you are looking for. “Of course I know what I’m looking for, don’t treat me like I am stupid” And then I told her, when she finds the letter to send it DIRECTLY to uni.

So I get an e-mail off her a few days later saying, “I think I have found the letter you needed, I’m not sure but I have sent it to your house in Spain”. You see, I don’t know whether she was born stupid, or that she is just really good at it, but I honestly think she is trying to sabotage my life here, just because she is so miserable with her own life and she takes it out on me, and she never did stuff like this with my sister. So that left me with no time at all to get things sorted. Anyway, the letter arrived and it was the most random letter ever, it was completely useless to me, anyway I’m sure I have told you this. Then I e-mailed me mam having a go at her and then she e-mails back and says she never had a clue what she was looking for and that I told her to end it to my house! Do you see?! Do you see why?!

So just to have a little rant and rave with someone who understands, I e-mailed my sister and asked her to help me, but then she started kicking off with me, so then I asked her to not help me as she was bound to sabotage me too. We are still arguing now, so she has told me not to bother coming home for xmas, so glad I’m only back for five days as I will have plenty of people to stay with for just one night, and I could maybe squeeze two nights out of my uncle Karl, I dunno we will have to see, as my mum never actually told me to not come home, but no doubt she will agree with her. But I can’t be bothered writing it all out, so I will put the e-mails we have sent each other, exactly how they were written with nothing changed.

Random word of the day: Algarabía = hullabaloo

Total word count of the day: 1756

Sorry peeps but I’m gonna start being a proper Nicky from big brother and complain about air conditioning! It’s like 15 degrees Celsius outside so it’s already beyond comprehensible freezing, so what do they do in work? Open the bleedin window and the air conditioning at the same time. It’s like being back home, with my mums husband, who, when it was snowing heavily, refused to put any sort of heating on and had the windows open AND tried to make me look like I was the crazy one for having to wear my coat indoors, especially whilst I was eating my tea, seriously, its no wonder I am how I am.

Also Cody sent me an e-mail and said if I put down on here that he was a bummer, then he would shit all over me, I replied, of course you would shit all over me, that’s what happens to gay boys, they loose the elasticity in their anus’ and therefore do not have any control over this bodily function, hence the need for butt plugs, ah Cody, bless him. Be comfortable with who you are, there is no shame in it!!!!!!!!!!!!! (By the way I have to quickly put a disclaimer here, that Cody has never told me that he is gay, nor is probably likely to, these are just the thoughts and opinions of little old me)

Oh yeah, by the way I will have to keep putting disclaimers, I have managed to get hold of an English copy of Cosmopolitan, in the old English court there, I know I should be reading in Spanish, but this was for the 5-6 hour coach journey to Madrid, so I think I should be forgiven. Anyway there was an article in there about blogs, and it was saying about the law of blogging about work as some people can get fired, especially one man who called his boss a sandal wearing bastard, although I think that his boss should have seen the funny side of this, as I did! So I’m going to have to go back over my blog and change a shit load of people’s names. Not going to change the names of my friends though, although I might have to delete things that have happened. Oops. Or I will have to write disclaimers like the one above, fookin hell, who knew an online diary could cause so much trouble, and as I always seem to be in trouble, it would probably happen to me.

Although, I don’t think anyone actually reads this, no one leaves comments, or sends me e-mails to say they have read it. And there are some people out there whose blogs get read by hundreds and I dunno how they do it as some of them are on the same site as me and in all honesty prob not as interesting as mine, as to be honest, it has just dawned on me that I have a crazy life, and crazy things always happen to me. That’s exactly what my housemate said yesterday to me about my stories of Madrid; I didn’t think anything of my trip until she pointed out that in all her 34 years of living in Spain, she has never come across any of the experiences I have. So I dunno what on earth is wrong with me, I realise I am the biggest loser going but I don’t see why people have a problem with this or have to interfere, I’m quite happy as I am. Hmph.

Anyway, getting back to my trip in Madrid. Had a ball, and it was nice to go to Leanne’s for a change, as she always comes to mine. I almost missed the bus on the way there. I was planning to walk but it was half 11 and my coach was at 12:15, so it normally takes 45 mins at the most to walk, but was thinking it would have been even longer with my suitcase so I got a taxi. Well in all my life, normally in a taxi I would get there in like 15 mins, so then in my mind I was thinking I would have time to get something to eat, as I had had no actual breakfast, but lo and behold, Castellón knew Laura was coming. There was bleedin traffic everywhere; the whole city was at a standstill. It was a 5-day fiesta I suppose, people were travelling to other places. So it took me like 45 mins to get to the train station and when I got there the doors were just about to close, but there was someone else who was late as well and they were ahead of me so they stopped the coach. So gets on the coach and I find my seat…

I am not happy. I am seriously going to put in a strong worded letter to auto res to suggest that the next time I buy a ticket they do a background check on the person who will be sitting next to me. I mean, in all my life, I dunno which time I would say was the most traumatising, but this one defo goes on the list. He was dead fat, with an I-dunno-what kind of fashion sense, for a start, and he had a white baseball cap, that was absolutely filthy that it wasn’t white no more. And he still had a bum fluff moustache that looked like he had never shaved it since it grew in puberty, but in all honesty the man looked like he was in his 30’s so he really should have known better. Now I hope after I write this that it doesn’t turn out that this man is disabled, as at one point I did think that. For the purposes of this blog, lets call him…Gary. Anyway, he sat there the entire 5 and a half hour journey and just stared and smiled at me with dreamy eyes. I, on the other hand, turned my attention towards a heat magazine that my Pauli had so kindly brought me and put my music on to try and block everything out.

We ended up stopping at a service station, and can I just mention that there really isn’t anything between Castellón and Madrid, just baron land. And this service station looked a bit of a local service station, for local people, if you get what I mean. Seriously, inbred really wasn’t the word. And since there is nothing between Madrid and Castellón and this service station was exactly half way between the two, where on earth did people travel from? Hmm, turning into a bit of a horror movie me thinks. So I had a tortilla butty, gonna miss those to death when I leave here, but I didn’t have a can a can’t ha ha ha! Anyway we was told half an hour, and after I had eaten and smoked myself stupid made my way back to the coach, but coach driver was no where to be seen (see, horror movie starting already) but I’m, way too clever to wander off on my own “to try to be the hero and find the driver, then be a silly bitch and get myself killed, etc” and also by staying in a large group where we was supposed to, we beat the horror movie curse hurrah! Anyway the coach driver turns up 15 mins late, tsk, although I can’t complain.

So board the coach, and I dunno what on earth Gary had been eating or doing, as on the second leg of our journey, he took his cap off, that’s right he removed it, he placed it over his, what would be known as a “crotch area”, then stuck his hand under his cap, and well, there was movement shall we say, so I will leave it up tour own imaginations for the ending of that story.

Eventually get to Madrid, and Gary, the thick twat, went and left his coat on the coach but no way was I telling him he should have used it instead of his baseball fookin cap.

Got to Leanne’s house and she cooked me well nice food! Fajitas, sin sour cream, as apparently they don’t do it in Spain (get on to that story later). Then we went out, as I had to meet some Madrileño friends of mine that I did a language exchange with in my first year.

I wasn’t altogether impressed with Luís, he has changed, and put it this way I don’t think he actually likes girls anymore, as when he was in Manchester, he brought everyone a present back, but I got more than everyone else as I was his favourite person, and back then I did think he might have liked me a bit too much, but now I realise that he was grooming me. Clearly grooming me to be his fag hag. Silvia though, although she spoke really slow English, it turns out that she speaks really slow Spanish too, better for me as then I can understand easier, but she is actually quite pretty in a natural way, I never realised it before, as my attention has always been focused on her cross-eyes. Anyway we had a few drinks with her, and Luís decides to get off in the middle and go meet some friends of his, and I wasn’t invited! I travel all this way to stand and watch him hold his fag like an actual fag, and then he swans off with his friends when I haven’t seen him for 2 years! The cheeky twat. Sylvia was really nice though, it’s a shame I didn’t get to see more of her, but I invited her to Castellón (woo big thrill there Silvia) but then she was like no I’ll come to Italy! Although, by the way peeps, if any of you wanna visit me in Italy, free accommodation is just not gonna happen, I have to share an actual bedroom and go to uni on Saturdays! Er, hello? Human rights violation!

So she said she defo wants to come back to Salford, the poor girl, she really doesn’t understand, so I said when I get my house in 4th year she can come and stay there with me.

Anyway Sylvia went and then me and Leanne danced the night away, we went somewhere that played proper cheese, like total eclipse of the heart, which I was loving as loads of girls were proper trying to sing along, but since they was Spanish their lips were moving but not in time to the words, but they must just think this is how English people speak as they watch everything dubbed, dubbing does my head reet in. Anyway Leanne got proper harassed by all the men, and then some French boy was trying to harass me, and although he was good looking his friend was a reet perv, proper grabbing Leanne, so for her sake I moved away from the French. Also there was a really fit boy who I was trying to dance near but he looked terrified. Ah well. I do think the English men should take a leaf out of the Europeans book though, they actually don’t give a shit if they get rejected, they will still give it a good go though, English boys are too much hard work. Although, I have to say English boys have a lot more somewhere else, if you get me…..

Anyway, we was in the met station and there was a group, of what I can only describe as adolescents, on the opposite platform, and the filthy mouth they had on them! Chupa me rubia, which means suck my dick Blondie. So I was like my name isn’t Blondie, and then I can remember what they was saying or what I said (as per, was a little worse for the wear) but then they was like “we are going to kill you” “don’t be ridiculous” I replied (lol) but then they was like we are actually going to follow you to kill you. Erm ok, hopefully they will learn they can’t force girls to do things they don’t want. Anyway as we got on the met they were saying suck it to me again, bless them, I will give it to t hem for trying.

Anyway, Friday day was absolutely wasted as we was in bed all day sleeping, and trying not to have a hangover, although Leanne went to bed later than me, as she was having a full beast of a meal. Friday night came and this was the best part of my trip. WE WENT TO SEE BORAT!!!! There is an English cinema in Madrid as I didn’t want to go and see it in Spanish, part of the joke is his accent so the dubbing would have been shit, even though I would have understood, but still… And oh my god, it was the funniest thing since sliced pan de moulde without any crusts. Although some of it is clearly set up, like the prostitute and going to the Jew house, and Pamela Anderson was in on the joke, but her security and entourage weren’t, although I have to say her security were not the best and if I were her I would be worried, as he managed to get her outside in the car park on her own, while the security were lagging behind. But since I have seen this film I have been quoting to fook out of it, so expect this a lot when I’m home for Xmas, high five-NOT! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha lol.

Anyway after this me and Leanne had a bit of a dander around Madrid looking at the crimbo lights, and oh my god people, I have a bit of a thing for policemen anyway, more than firemen, I think it is their handcuffs and truncheons….. and me and my friend Natalie Baird (hi!)watch crimewatch religiously and any kind of true life crime programme to watch for fit policemen, and I have to say I am missing dearly PC Raj Persuad from crimewatch, he was looking quite fit before I left L Anyway, if you want a policeman- go to Madrid. In all my life, I have never seen so many fit policemen in one place. Castellón has a few, but its over between me and Victor L anyway I don’t know what the fook was going on, but there was all these police cars and then there was the most beautiful man I have ever seen, ever. All dark hair and muscles, seriously wouldn’t mind him manhandling me in the back of a police car!!! But he was far too busy to notice me. So we was watching them for a bit, and oh my god peeps, he started running!!! Anyway he eventually got into a car L and then about ten cars and motorbikes started driving all flashing lights and sirens but in the middle of all these cars was like a normal person in a normal car, they was escorting it somewhere. We have since been told that they was probably escorting a member of the secret police, but, way to go to keep them secret, they didn’t at all look conspicuous.

So we was having a little dander, and it was actually freezing so Leanne wanted a scarf we found this little shop, but they clearly didn’t have what Leanne was looking for, then the man came danderin over and was chatting to us, asking where we was from, just generally being slightly nosey. Anyway, they didn’t really have what Leanne was looking for so he said to us to go back tomorrow, as he will have more stock as today was a fiesta he is pretty much sold out, so we was like ok we will come tomorrow and then Leanne went to give the scarf that she was trying on back to him, but he was like, no it’s a present for you as long as you come back tomorrow and buy something else, so we was like of course we will comeback tomorrow-NOT, high five!

Anyway we ended up going for something to eat, but there was like a 15 min wait for a table, so we ordered a sangria while we waited, but the cheeky bastards kept letting the Spaniards in in front of us, we eventually got a table, but whatever we ordered they didn’t seem to have in. So we ended up with tortilla and calamari, but by this time I was knackered, so I wasn’t in the mood for food. Anyway, we get the bill and they didn’t charge us for the sangria that we drank whilst we were waiting, too fookin right they didn’t. So we quickly paid up and left. So a free scarf and a free drink, in one day, not too shabby, eh.

Anyway, on the Saturday…I WENT TO PRIMARK!!! In truth it wasn’t as good as I was hoping, they didn’t seem to have any nice clothes, and whenever I have seen Leanne wearing nice clothes she always assures me they are from Primark. But alas I could not find anything, so I ended up getting myself some silky nightie things, and Leanne called me a dirty bitch, but they wasn’t even slutty or anything, they was pretty though.

After my disappointing Primark trip, we went for some food. After debating between subway (oh my god they have a subway, I just love meatballs) and a Chinese, I decided on Chinese, as I think that is one of the foods I have missed the most, and Leanne assured me it was nice. Well in all my life, we went to the salad bar, they had prawn or some sort of shrimp, I cannot actually tell the difference, but the prawns were slightly bad peeps. When I ripped off the head, it made this kind of fart sound and all this liquid poured out. Hmmm delicioso-NOT. So after deciding to swiftly leave the salad to one side and get the main meal, big mistake, we should have left there and then and refused to pay for anything, but I though, ok so they made a mistake with the prawns. The food was actually disgusting too. And the thing is in the Chinese all you can eats in Manchester, they have labels as to what food is what, but this one didn’t, so I didn’t fancy eating anything that I didn’t know what it was. So I was sensible and stuck to noodle and rice things, still minged though. And, I dared Leanne to eat a snail, as everyone eats them over here. And do you know what peeps, she did! And before she ate it she was like, look at its feelers there Laura. Think I will give the snails a miss. Then Leanne couldn’t eat, what we really hoped was a kind of meat that we would eat in the western world, but we are not actually sure what it was, so we decided on pudding, as what could possibly go wrong with jelly and ice cream?

Well we was in the queue for absolutely ages and then we seen why. Some little fat kid had been at it with the ice cream hadn’t he, huge mountainous pile of ice cream. So he comes away and starts with the can of squirty cream. Well it’s acceptable for kids to go overboard with the squirty cream, as they just love to squirt really. But this kid just carried on, and carried on and carried on. Then he stopped for a second and we was thinking thank god. He stood, looked, and then decided he didn’t have enough, and continued. Leanne was like “oh my god where on earth are that kids parents?” And then I looked over and was like “there”. There was just this tiny fat woman hunched over the ice cream, proper scooping out as much as she could. Well me and Leanne absolutely pissed ourselves laughing. Really it is no wonder the kid was fat, the whole family was fat and they didn’t even control the amount of shit that he was eating. And eventually when it came to my turn to get the ice cream, surprise surprise no bleedin strawberry left, the little bugger had had it all. AND when I need the squirty cream, he had actually taken it to the table with him and left the first bottle that he was using, which incidentally was empty, for me to use and all this runny stuff came out, so Laura was not amused.

After the shopping centre we went to the good old English court there to get some more stuff for fajitas. I tried to get sour cream, but it seriously wasn’t going to happen. I actually asked a man where the sour cream was, but that was a mistake. I didn’t know the actual word for sour cream, but I told him that this is a literal translation, but where is the nata agria. Well, he just looked at me and said sorry I don’t speak English! Erm, for a start it wasn’t English. Then he asked this other woman that worked there if she spoke English and she was like no, then Leanne later informed me that the woman was walking off calling us wankers. Snidey cow, get a real job, instead of walking round a supermarket all bleedin day. Anyway, there was some sour cream in a jar, but it was like made by Doritos or something and it had onion, but I dunno, it just didn’t look like the sour cream that I know and love, so I showed this to the man and asked where I could get some without onion, and he just kept repeating to me that if there wasn’t any without onion, then they had ran out, I was trying to explain exactly what I wanted and he just kept repeatedly talking over me. So I lost my temper and walked around the supermarket swearing, oops, but he knew exactly what I wanted but couldn’t be bothered. And they seriously need to crack a smile in that place as if they leave it any longer their faces are going to break.

So Saturday night, we ended up going out to some place, that wasn’t altogether great, but it wasn’t terrible. And oh my god in the dance room, there were half naked men wandering around, who were meant to be dancers, but they really were only there to look pretty, and my god pretty they did look. And this place was a non-smoking place except on the 7th floor, but I could be arsed going up there could I, and also there were loads of people smoking, so Leanne just said to me just smoke here, everyone is doing it, so was smoking away to myself, and some cheap nasty little tart comes over to me started having a go at me saying “you can’t smoke in here, it’s only on the 7th floor” so I thought if I pretended to be stupid and not understand her, then she would go away, but she carried on with her little nasty self, so in the end I was like oh sorry but I’ve nearly finished it now anyway, and then she was like “me da igual si fumas”!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! EEEEEEEErrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr you cheeky bitch, do you wanna wind your neck in, if it doesn’t bother you that I’m smoking why on earth are you telling me, cheeky cow. And oh my god you should have seen the fookin state of her. Cheap and nasty all over. Her hair was frizzy to fook and a horrible dirty colour, she was trying to be blonde, but we all know that there is only one blonde that reign’s supreme!!! And I’m a natural blonde, so she was prob jealous because of that, silly bitch. And she had the nastiest clothes on ever. Her top was some nasty market imitation leopard print thing that you tell was meant to be tight, but was baggy and ill fitting. And don’t even get me started on the shoes that were clumpy and huge. And I notice she didn’t tell any of the Spanish people there to stop smoking and there were loads of people.

Anyhoo, ended up meeting two lads from Castellón, well Benicassim, but you know, tomato, tomato. I give them my phone number, but I’m not hopeful that they will call, it would be cool if they did though, as how random was that.

Felt like shit the next day, but had to get up early as my coach was at 3 and it was quite away away from Leanne’s house, and once again I nearly missed the fookin coach, I got there by the skin of my teeth, it was actually about to pull, out, and I was panickin to fook, there was a man in the station who worked there, instead of stopping the bus driver from leavin, he was mitherin me for my ticket, of all things, it seriously is just because I’m foreign you know, they can be quite racist. Eventually I get on the coach, driver not impressed with me, everyone silent and staring at me as I walk down the aisle. I went to find my seat, but you know when you have been running and you can’t see? Well, I sat in the wrong place and the man poked me, and then tapped his watch and he was like “what time do you call this its five past 3” hmm all of a sudden I realised I was in the wrong seat and moved. Was sat next to an old lady, which as it turns out wasn’t too bad and we was chatting away as she was nearly late too, and it turns out she lives right near me, we did say we were going to meet up but we never ended up swapping numbers. Anyway the traffic was really bad and the driver made an announcement that we would be arriving in Castellón later than scheduled, but even though I was five mins late, and that prob didn’t make a difference, and the traffic was bad, when he said we was going to be late, everyone just turned round and stared at me. Seriously, peeps on the coach, get over it.

Oh my god peeps, I’m sorry I wrote loads, but I haven’t written here for like five or six days so obviously loads has happened. And I still haven’t told you about the whole Sonia and Luís situation, me thinks she is going to dump him, me and my sister screaming at each other down e-mails as she is an interfering bitch and she is trying to ruin things for me as she is jealous, as where is her exotic working location? Blackpool, and she is trying to compare that with my moving abroad, I do not think so, you cow, and also I need to tell you about my discovery of churritas, my god they are everywhere, and capture the taste of Christmas, no word of a lie, and I need to tell you all about my first ever Christmas tree, it’s a disaster, but in a hilarious way! But will have to actually leave that until tomorrow, as you are all probably bored and it’s taken me two days to write this as it is! But just to finish I will point out that I have actually written that much, its like the length of a mini dissertation. So imagine if this has taken me two days to write, my actual dissertation should be a doddle (“~) hopefully!

But I would also like to add that this is a record for my blog, it’s the longest blog I have written, as you might now realise, I bet its probably taken you hours to read this, but hey it’s cheaper than a book, and if you pass this link round to every single person you know and get them to read it, so I have a cult following, then when my book is published, and I’m mega rich, I will buy a huge house in the Bahamas and also a private jet, with my own private pilot, so you can all use this house, jet and pilot whenever you want!

Random word of the day: quebrantahuesos = bearded vulture

Total word count of the day: 4774 words, oops, sorry

Right peeps where to start? Well Pauli came on Friday, I was there waiting for him and he was first off the plane, which was good, we managed to get the bus and then the train home on time, went to Las Tascas but no one at all was there, for like the first time ever. Anyway so we just went mine had summat to eat, and just chatted the night away.

Next morning went to Valencia, just for summat interesting for us to do. Had a well top day, and you know how hilarious he is, and he didn’t disappoint. Although he wanted a paella but the place we went the food was awful, but no where else did tortilla or patatas bravas for Caroline and we didn’t really know where else there was to eat so, but it was still minging, so I felt really bad that he didn’t get proper food, and after all the promises I made him, I didn’t have time to cook him any decent food, poor boy L.

Anyway, after this, I thought it was best that we walked around and looked at buildings and stuff, as we didn’t really have the money to do anything. I loved it, the places we went was all on tiny little streets and squares that have been like that for 600 years or something, and I love places like that that has loads of history and stuff, and places that have loads of character as you know all these glass buildings that we have will not be here in the future and if they are no one will even like them. Anyway stop my waffle. We ended up going for ice cream and as we were slurping away, an open topped tour bus stopped…..

We all really wanted to go on this; so I enquired it was 12 euros for an hour and a half, and it covered everything in Valencia so it was quite good value and then at least Pauli would get to see loads, me, I can go anytime but he was only here for the weekend. Anyway the bus ride was hilarious, it was absolutely freezing on the top and none of us had jackets, and they gave us these bright red horrid earphones to plug in and listen, and you got to choose which language you wanted to listen to it to. I should have really listened in Spanish, as my language has improved so much, but I’m glad I didn’t now, as the English was hilarious. There was two guys speaking, an actual English man and then there was another man whose accent was so bad, not that I have seen the film as Spain is so backwards, but he had a Borat accent, so that in itself was piss funny. And the words that they used too! Like if there was a pretty building with a floral pattern, he would have a stern voice and be like “these imposing flowers on the building…” Or if there was a building with patterned tiles on the front, they would be like “these evocative patterns…” it was hilarious. Then I got really snap happy and took pictures of like everything so Caroline and Paul took the piss out of me for that and then Paul started taking pictures of red traffic lights and people in the street and zoomed in on their faces and stuff. But I do need to take pictures as I haven’t took any at all since I have been here and I have missed out on so many good memories because I felt too much like a geek to take them. Also there was a part on the bus ride where we went somewhere that absolutely stunk, I have never smelled anything like it before, and then for some reason they drove through it twice but this was the funniest thing ever, basically it was non-stop laughter, he is really funny.

Then we eventually managed to drag ourselves home I got absolutely pissed in my house with him, I had like a bottle of wine to myself, but I bought one for 50p so you know it was the most toxic one! But I had got pissed and I hadn’t done my makeup so whilst I couldn’t actually stand properly I attempted to do my make up, I’m so glad he was there as I was drunk and didn’t rub things in properly so he had to do it for me, otherwise I would have left the house like that! I also PAINTED my eye shadow on too, ah well at least I was too drunk to actually care! Also I broke a full bottle of my Britney Spears perfume. I had literally just opened a new one and because I was drunk, for some reason it just seemed to drop out of my hands, and since we don’t have carpets in Spain….. it shattered into a million tiny pieces, well a million no, but now my room stinks of perfume. I’m absolutely gutted. But because I got so drunk, along came the sob stories. Pauli seemed shocked about stuff, I don’t know why, I’m sure I tell people all the time, although, my closet full of skeletons!

Anyway eventually made it out as I wanted him to meet my friends, but I was struggling to walk and stay on the pavement and stuff! Ha ha, I really didn’t enjoy being that drunk, as my head was spinning so much and I had to go home, as someone barged into me and I got alcohol in my hair, and then it was sticky, but plus my head was spinning I couldn’t have stayed out any longer really, needed to sober up.

Got home, and drank like ten glasses of water, I thought I was actually gonna be sick L washed the bits of hair that were sticky too and went back out. And the only person that made an effort to come out was Sergio and his girlf! V. disappointing, especially when I have spoke about Adriano so much, and me and Paul wanted to rip the piss out of him and he didn’t come. So I asked Sergio where Adriano was and he told me he had gone to Benicassim with other friends. So I was thinking how strange that he has gone there and that is where Sonia’s brothers went for their birthday, so I was hoping please please please don’t be friends with them. Anyway I was putting this little theory across to Caroline and then she was like, “no he went out with a girl but Sergio and the others don’t know who she is” !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Well that can only mean one thing, if him and a girl who no one has ever met have gone to Benicassim together alone… And also it must be that he took her out on a date because if it wasn’t then he would have invited her out with us if they were just friends.

So how gutted am I? Especially the fact that I have been rejected by Adriano, and I wouldn’t mind but I actually don’t think he has had a girlf before because he is a minger the twat. I dunno now, I have to think of something really nasty to do to him. Forget anything like getting him naked then throwing him out on the street, he is v.difficult to get naked. I actually think he is gay.

Never mind I’m still in love with the cockney and I still have Ramon although I’m pretty sure that Ramon has a girlfriend you know, he really only txts me on a weekend, or if he txts me in the week its to make sure that I’m going out on the weekend, then he gets me drunk stupid, then he stays at mine only until like 8 in the morning then he always gets off quick sharp. I don’t actually mind putting up with this behaviour, as in England I wouldn’t but I’ve only got 3 months left and I have been here for 100 days today, so hardly anytime at all, and its only a bit of fun, but if I was living here permanently then I would no way put up with this, and I would tell my uncle Karl to come over and save me!

Anyway we ended up in ETTRO (never gonna get bored of that place) and we was dancing away having a good time, and then I looked at my watch and we only had like an hour left and I started crying, I had to go to the toilets and chained smoked 5 cigs I was crying so much. I wouldn’t mind but he hates Rome and I know he is not ok there. Like I always cry when Northern Irish Leanne leaves, but not this much as I know I will see her loads and I know that she has friends even though her housing situation has been the worst, but at least she has people she can escape to, Paul has no one L the Romans don’t know what they are missing out on, seriously. So fat face seen me cry, he is such a player, think I should steer clear of him, even though he dresses well. So I’m v.embarrassed that I cried in front of fat face and all of his friends the shame, but if he says anything, I’ll just be like yeah so what your head is huge, I’m surprised you don’t cry about that! Any way this week is a fiesta here, only on the weds until fri, so only a two day working week for me, which is nice, it breaks up the monotony of working life, which by the way peeps in no fun at all, stay young and students forever!!!

Anyway eventually managed to get him to the airport and cried my eyes out so much at the departure gate, and then his plane was right outside the observation window, so I actually stood there and watched his plane until it disappeared in the sky. I just wish he was ok there, he wants to live in Spain, I said do it tell them you are changing your language to Spanish and come and live with me! I wish he could though. I’ve really missed him now he has gone, and a weekend wasn’t long enough. But I’m off to see him in January in Rome and also we should see each other at Xmas. So that will be fun.

Also I discovered shops!!! In Castellón!!! There is a whole big shopping centre that is actually huge and it has an H&M! But I actually thought the H&M was a bit shit. It was quite expensive and also the clothes were not that ice, it was stuff that was too fashiony to even be able to wear normally, and plus they didn’t have stuff like makeup so I couldn’t buy an eyeliner.

Eww and I got home last night and Sonia was in, but I should have known smelly arse was going to come round I was trying to eat my tea and he absolutely stunk and sat next to me, so I was put off by this and then he was like let me try some of your food. And the one thing that puts me off my food is people eating my food, anyone, never mind an alcoholic. So I have told him about this before, and he seems to get upset about it but he never listens, so again I’m going to have to have a word with Sonia about this, and she will have to listen this time, as I’m getting really pissed off. So I was there trying to eat, but he reeked so it was difficult and then he just stuck hi hand in the middle of my plate and grabbed a handful, I would mind but I made Carbonara so it wasn’t like he had just stolen a chip. And he never washes his hands when he has been to the toilet, he also never washes and his hands are black with dirt under his nails, so I have no idea how Sonia actually has sex with him, I just don’t. So I obviously couldn’t eat my food no more, so I went to bed hungry and then he put on a Motorhead DVD full blast so I didn’t sleep either, but it doesn’t matter how many times I have words with her about this, she just doesn’t seem to care.

Random word of the day: chutre = shitty

Total word count of the day: 2123 Words (fook that is loads)

Still nothing much has happened, saw that lad from London last night- it was him waving from the car the other day, but I still haven’t changed my opinion that he is an arrogant twat; he kept picking on me last night L He kept taking the piss out of my accent! Like I’m not bein funny but you are a cockney-nuff said! And he kept telling blonde jokes all night, and I was like, “I’m not stupid, I can cross a road all by myself!” And then he was like no you can’t I’ve seen you!!! Ha ha so that was sort of funny, but I will not succumb to his charms, I refuse to, I have never met anyone so arrogant in my life! But he is a sound lad though; he just picks on me. Caroline won’t even entertain the idea of talking to him.

Oh and this is totally un-Castellón de la Plana related, but me and my best friend Leanne was chatting about her birthday party (I was the only one who didn’t go) and she e-mailed me saying I missed out there was loads of fit geeks there. I thought she had said geeks, meaning people who came from her uni. So I start this big waffle about how much I secretly love fit geeks and spesh if they are a bit ginger. Well she wrote back and was like no I was talking about GREEKS!!! (her boyf is a greek) so you can imagine my shame right now, I thought we were sharing, but obviously not. And when I say ginger geeks: Bradley from is Eastenders is ok, but Paddy from Emmerdale would be a big no no, just to clear that up, and you can all mock me cos I don’t know a single one of you that has got a big rock hard boyfriend that will kill you with just his looks, so you can all shut up now.

Oh and who on earth is that gimp that has left me a comment you fuckin weirdo pervert I’m gonna jab my fingers in your eyes you loser!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Any big exciting news of the week!!!!!! Paul comes today!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Although he indecisiveness has pissed me off this week. What do you want to do food wise Paul? Oh anything its up to you. Well do you want Spanish food or I will cook you some English food with homemade gravy from scratch. What ever is easiest for you. So that now leaves me in a dilemma as I am also indecisive and that pisses me off about myself so two indecisive Librans together…..hmmm……suerte……..

Oh and Adriano came out last night (thursday) for the first time in two years. Speaking to Alejandro he told me that it was because they were chatting on the weds and Adriano said that he wanted to come out so Alejandro and Sergio were shocked and asked him why and he was like just to talk to you two…… and others……. Well surprise surprise he didn’t talk to me %@$&*! I was too busy staring into the brown eyes of that fit cockney…….wait no….. I was erm…..engaging in delightful conversation with the prissy bitches!

Random word of the day: Gorrón = Sponger!
Total word count: 547