where the fook is castellon?

Tuesday, November 28, 2006

Sorry peeps but I let the English down last night, I was kicking off and bein foul mouthed in the supermarket- but it totally wasn’t my fault, people just like to kick off with me, for reasons unknown. So I was there just trotting along getting my pipas and my peach juice (two favourite things here) and then I get to the till and the cashier was like “you are not allowed to enter the supermarket with any bag, I need to search them. So I stood there a little confused, as I understood her, I just didn’t understand why she was asking me this. So she repeated and I was still confused, I was thinking, have I heard her wrong or what? Then she was like “you don’t understand do you?” And then started laughing at me, and the lady behind me had a pushchair and shit loads of bags and they were both laughing at me so she said again that she needs to search my bags. So I was like “its only because I’m English and you think that I have been robbin, but I have a way better job than you, believe me, I don’t need to come in here and steal juice.” So she searches my bag, it only had magazines and some translations and stuff from work, Mercadona don’t sell magazines so why she thought I had taken stuff from there I do not know, and then the cheeky bitch searched in my handbag!!!!!!!! Well I never. That got me really mad, as no one has ever done this to me in Spain and I have never seen them do this to anyone else. It’s bad enough that when I go to Mercadona the cashiers won’t accept the money off me I have to put it on the counter as they don’t wanna touch my hand. I have got used to that but them searching my bags just took the piss. I told her that they only reason she is doing this is cos I’m foreign and she is a racist fat cow, and then it just went from there. She eventually served me but only after she searched my bags. I am so fuming.

But on the upside Pauli my best good friend is coming this weekend so I haven’t been able to sleep because of that, seriously it’s been like waiting for crimbo. Which reminds me, they don’t have proper crimbo songs here so I’m going to have to get mother (after all she owes me A LOT) to send me a copy of everything from Mariah Carey’s classic, all I want fro Christmas, to Slade So here it is merry Christmas, as I miss the Christmas in England, its not quite the same celebrating with sunshine and Palm trees, and the only Christmas songs they have here are the carols, so you know I’ll be wanna boppin around my living room. I have a feeling that I will have to hide my advent calendar as I’m pretty sure that smelly arse will spot it and want to eat all of the chocolates in it. And Sonia laughed when I said I still put carrots, mince pies and alcohol out for Santa, but hey, someone eats and drinks it, as on Christmas day morning it has gone, and the carrot has its usual huge “reindeer” bite out of it. I’ve got really excited about xmas already, even though they are only just starting to sell xmas stuff in the shops and they are only just putting up the lights now, so they won’t be switched on until December-which is how it should be! And because Pauli is coming, he might have missed the homemade cooking of England, so I might make him a shepherd’s pie (everything from scratch) or a full blown Sunday dinner for the Saturday night although I think we have been invited out. Its Sonia’s brother’s birthday on Sunday so I know we are defo going for drinks for that but not sure if we are invited out for the meal part, although Pauli said he wanted to take me out for a meal, see peeps how nice is that, I never go with the boys who do things like this.

Oh I e-mailed Sergio and told him Adriano was gay, me thinks!!! lol! But he hasn’t replied to me, so he must be in agreement with me, even my housemate thinks he is gay, and when I have spoken to her about him, and last night I said to her that he is one big bender, she was like, yeah well I thought this, I just didn’t wanna say!! That’s a bit mean; I don’t actually think he really is gay, although he isn’t shy to talk to the boys….

Talking of boys, Sonia has like four brothers and each and every single one of them is good looking, but the only one I fancy and think is well fit is the only one who has a girlfriend, so out of the three single ones, I fancy the attached one, there must be something wrong with me. Can’t do anything out about it though, as it isn’t nice when people do stuff with members of your family really.

Oh and I’m going to knock KFC guy out he is actually doing my head in, he has just been stood opposite me whilst I’m writing this and just been saying hello in all these different child like voices! And he wants me to get with his son?! If his son is anything like him then I do not think so!

Nothing much else to say, these passing days have been quite boring!

Random word of the day: quebradora= dengue fever

Total word count today: 967 words!

Monday, November 27, 2006

Sorry peeps this is going to be quite boring, nothing out of the ordinary happened. Friday night should have gone straight home to bed, but instead decided to go to the train station and the coach station to buy my tickets home and for Madrid. It takes 45 mines to get to the train station walking from my house, so I walked all the way there and then realised that I didn’t know my flight times so I couldn’t actually buy the ticket home for xmas. And then I realised that there might be a cheaper and quicker option to Madrid and I had forgot to look on the budget airlines to check prices to see if it is cheaper, as it is 70 euros on the train from Castellón to Madrid, and it is like 3/4 hours and it is 45 euros and like 4/5 hours on the coach, so I don’t think I can be arsed with either of them to be honest but I would go for the train as it is slightly comfier as on a coach I will dread getting someone who stinks or has some kind of fault sitting next to me for five hours. But if I can get a flight for roughly the same price I don’t mind the one and a half hour train journey to Valencia, as I absolutely love it there.

I wish uni would have sent me there now, and the people there were really nice too. It’s such a beautiful city. I don’t mind Castellón now as I have friends here, but I think I would have found it easier to adapt to a huge city like that than a small tiny back street town like this, but you get used to the fact that there are no shops or nothing to do. So my Saturdays are going to have more structure from now on its only like 3 euros on the train to Valencia, so even if I have got no money then I can go just to walk around as there are lots of buildings and tower things so I can just go to look at them (geek!).

Ended up going on Saturday, so that is like that first day that I have actually done something with my weekends except drink, which is quite bad considering I have been here for three months now. So went on Saturday cos Caroline’s housemate had a property fair of some sort that she has worked really hard for so we were going for that.

When we came out of the train station though I noticed the bull ring so was like, lets go and have a look at it and as it turned out there was some huge event going on. It was some kind of medieval market and everyone was dressed up in the clothes and they had like authentic stalls full of like olives or food that would have been eaten in the day, although, all the food looked plastic, but they assured me it was real, that it was just the style of that day, but no one would actually let me jab my fingers in the pies to double check. Bought mother some earrings there for Xmas, as she likes amber and there was loads of amber stuff, may as well. And you know she is gonna get cheap thrills and go around telling everyone they are from Spain. Anyway had a top time there, except when we first arrived there was a weirdo. Like I was stood there stroking a donkey (that really didn’t want me to, but he is a dumb animal he had no choice) also why is it that donkeys have the most beautiful eyelashes, I don’t think they realise. Anyway I was stood stroking this donkey and then some random boy was like you are beautiful, so I looked round seen a stunning girl so presumed he was talking to her, and then he jabbed me with his finger and was like eres guava. So I’ve learned here when people say that and you tell them it’s a lie, as some people here need glasses to say that to me, they get really offended and angry, you have to accept the compliment whether it’s a lie or not. Anyway, he starts asking me for a spare cig, so I gave him last dimps on mine, well, that was it, he followed, and he followed and he followed me, even when I blatantly told him to go away he fookin didn’t and then I did stuff like let him walk ahead and then secretly tried to go the opposite direction, but he was quick that one was, he was on to it straight away. So in the end I told him I was leaving to meet a boyfriend and then he was like, can I come too? In the end went for some food, and he didn’t follow. But you get this in Spain, if you are blonde, they will follow you and flash you and stuff, it doesn’t matter too much if you ming like me either, they will still love you if you are a blonde.

Anyway ended up going to this ferrier thing, I think it could have possibly been in Paterna, not sure though. Seen Olga, was very impressed with her display and then we had a wander round, but I was a bit bored to be honest as once you have seen one scale model of a house, you have seen them all. So I was wanting to go home as I had plans with my housemate but Olga had asked us for drinks and to have tea, but I couldn’t, and then Caroline started saying she was pissed off as I had known about this for two weeks but I said yeah I kept my day free for the ferrier but I didn’t know we were meant to be going for tea and drinks, but Olga didn’t finish until 8 and I had to get the 8:20 train as then that would get me into Castellón and home for about ten o’clock which was when I was certain Sonia had said that we were going out, but she actually said she would be home at ten to start getting ready together. So I got home for ten, but Caroline was not very impressed that I had to leave without her. But she was insistent that she had told me we were all eating together, but I told her that if I had known I wouldn’t have made plans with my housemate, and that she knew me and Sonia were going out as I mentioned it on Thursday, and Caroline never said to me then that we were meant to be going for food, so I think there has been crossed wires somewhere.

So me and Sonia got ready and went out together to meet her brother and his girlfriend. The first time I met her brothers girlfriend she looked hard faced but she was lovely and really chatty but this time she really is hard faced and she didn’t smile or anything, so I dunno what was up. Eww but her brother perved a bit and kept touching like the top of my leg and my arse and stuff, so maybe that’s why she was hard faced. Not my fault, I would be in the queue for the toilet or something and he would do it from behind so half the time I didn’t even realise he was there.

Although Sonia promised me she wouldn’t she ended up meeting Luis. And my god he was doing my head in so much, but he bought me a drink in ettro so I will let him off. But them two really didn’t like ettro, and I couldn’t see my friends anywhere so I tried to get them to stay with me until they came, but they got off and left with two of Luis’s weird Argentinean friends so I gave them my drink to hold whilst I went to wee. Normally I wouldn’t leave my drink with strangers but I thought that if I just went to piss they would get off and leave me, and it was only like 4 in the morning so I wasn’t ready to go home yet. So I went to the toilet came back and they had got off with my drink as well, maybe that was a good idea my legs and eyes were all over the place!

So I went in search of my friends once more and ended up finding them, they had only just come, so went and had a little dance with them (well I say with them, just Sergio as he is my favourite) and then I was asking Alejandro about Adriano (yes I know again) but Alejandro was saying to me that he thinks Adriano is a bit scared of girls (no shit Sherlock) as he has only ever had one girlfriend but for a long time and apparently she was horrible to him and treated him like shit, which is sad yeah but what is he going to do for the rest of his life never talk to another girl again?

So they decided to leave at like five as they had football at 9 in the morning so Adriano got chatting to someone and then Sergio and Alejandro said to me that they were going to go to their car and leave me and him alone so Adriano didn’t realise that they were gone so he had to walk me home. We actually had a really good chat (about the whole Alejandro and Caroline situation) so if Adriano is even talking about it,, really the whole world is talking about it! So when we get to my door no way was he coming in my house with me or no way was he even trying to kiss me or anything, so I have come to the conclusion that Adriano is gay. Seriously, he had plenty of opportunity to just do something, so I really have given up on him now, I really do not have the time for silly games, and also he has no reason to be scared to talk to me as I am the easiest person in the world to talk to so I just do not understand him at all. Its frustrating though, but Sergio told me its because he doesn’t know where he stands with me, but like he has never asked, so I dunno if he decides to talk to me or whatever, it might be too late for him!

Random word of the day: zurullo= turd!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Words you have read today: 1806

Friday, November 24, 2006

Sorry peeps but I need help. Mar has just given me a translation to do, she swears to me it is in English and she wants it into Espanola. It’s a beauty tools sterilisation manual, so I suspect that this isn’t actually work, she is up to something and has come across strange instructions. Anyway she still insists that it is English, but just to reconfirm my suspicions, read the following and please help me:

Input the clectric power, electric power the conversion ultraviolet ray light, ultraviolet my the light disinfect, disinfect.

?The usage sen grectings the electric leakage aegis of packing to suit this machine before this machine

This machine is proper to the season to often keep clean, dry

Put on with the power supply that the machine went with shoud

Please check the machine electric voltage before usage if with be the ground charged barbed wire net the electric voltage to agree with to match.

Also I was given a translation (actually weeks ago, but then Jorge told me there was no hurry-hhhhhhuuuuggggggeeeeee mistake) but it is about a vacuum pump (?) and the funniest thing is that the instructions are only available in English, so that can’t use this machine until I have translated this for them, but it is really hard, and there are some things in there, well, they are difficult to translate put it that way. I have come across some sentences and they actually made me laugh out loud:

Don’t remove the non-recessed screws; they hold the motor flange in place

Remove the intermediate flange

Screw the intermediate flange

(Why does no one want to screw the advanced flange? Why settle for second best intermediate flange?!!!)


Anyway as you can see this is going to take a while, also to account for all of the laughter, I’m such a child but I know you are all laughing reading this, especially you Leona, I can see the tears now! But wait till you get to Spain the mere mention of your name is going to make them se reín a más no poder, me tronché de la risa.

Also today this is going to be especially long, I have so much to say, like always!

First thing is first FIT AUDITOR GUY HAS GONE!!! He is such an efficient worker that he got everything done a day early oh well, and I got my boobs out for work today as well, I knew I should have worn this outfit yesterday @%-*&^.

So last night, as per usual smelly arse was in my house, he is an alright enough guy, its just he has the worst habit in the world and Sonia finds them hilarious. Like last night he just took it upon himself to look in my dictionary, and Sonia had to tell him the alphabet as he couldn’t find the letter E. I’ll give you a bleedin letter E. EEE you are you tramp, get the fook out of my house! Although, he took my shepherds pie for all of his friends and now they are all demanding more, although I will blown my own here it was ssssssoooooooooooooooo nice, the only thing is I couldn’t keep it moist enough until the next day, so reheating in the microwave wise it was a disaster. Anyway defo gonna cook some more, I just love the compliments, it’s the only thing that saves me from being the lowest of the lowest loser, the fact I can cook well. Even my little brother won’t really eat anything my mum cooks him, but when I make him the same thing he wolfs it down and always has seconds.

Anyway, I will stop talking about England now, its shite there (with the exception of the soaps)

So last night went out as per usual to Las Tascas to meet with friends. And on Saturday I dunno whether I have mentioned that Sergio told me that Alejandro was in love with Caroline? Well it's no surprise everyone is.

Also a new boy on the scene, but not getting too excited about it, as it turns out he is English and we was having a dead good chat for ages, but this is the thing about English boys, I can’t work them out ever, so we will have to wait and see. He did buy me a drink and tell me not to go home early (it was quarter to 3 in the morning and I had to be up at 6) but I dunno whether that was a friendly gesture or not, so he said I might see him out on sat night, so we will have to wait and see!

Random word of the day: abarcar: to get one’s arm round (arm round what I do not have a clue!)

Total word count for today: 1381

Thursday, November 23, 2006

Sorry peeps, I’m just writing this just as the well-fit auditor who has been here all week, but leaves tomorrow L is bent down right in front of me. I think he has done this on purpose just so I’m forced to look, all though, it’s a very pretty sight! Seriously, so many beautiful men here, so little time, but I would defo recommend that you all come and live here for a while, it’s seriously like a pick n mix sweet shop!

Oh, and mother has been at it again. She hasn’t been sending me my mail, she has said that nothing has come for me, but I know this to be a blatant black lie as my brother has told me otherwise. Anyway, my point being, how fuckin cheap is she to not even post me stuff, the stamp costs like 50p, but she will not pay this, so she has saved up all my mail from the last month and I got a credit card bill, that I knew I needed to pay, as I bought my flights home for crimbo on there (still really do not wanna go home), but there was a few other emergency items from like September that I had completely forgotten about, but as mother hasn’t sent me no mail, I’ve now had my card suspended until I pay it, but since I didn’t pay it on time, as I didn’t have the reminder so now on top of what I owed I have to pay like 38 pounds charges for late payment, I am going to actually kill her.

Also, I have been mitherin the uni for months about me still not receiving my enrolment forms, as this is going to seriously fook up my student loan etc. They have sent me numerous copies, and even sent one by recorded delivery, which someone in my house has signed, but mother still tells me nothing has turned up. So I had a go at her for not sending me my mail and she goes and phones up uni, kicking off and my brother told me she was swearing at them (she has a filthy mouth, worse than mine, that’s where I learned it all from) so as you can imagine I was v. embarrassed by this shambles that I HAVE TO BY LAW call her mother. So yet again I had to have another go at her and then she was like “who on earth do you think you are talking to?” EEEEEEEErrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr excuse me mother who on earth do you think you are speaking to you tw*at.

Anyway, she eventually sends me a shit load of mail yesterday and I get my enrolment forms, that uni needed before the 6th of October I might hasten to add, and I get this letter: I note that an amount relating to unpaid tuition fees remains outstanding on your account. The facility for you to pay by instalments has now been removed and the whole amount is now due.

It is imperative that you contact the income section to discuss payment methods no later than the 24th of November 2006.

Failure to respond to this request may result in a Late Payment Charge being incurred and your registration for the current academic year being revoked.

If you are revoked, you will no longer be considered a student of the university and therefore will be excluded from attending lectures.

Can you believe it! I blame it all on mother as per usual everything is her fault, so now I have to spend a shit load of money phoning the UK money that I do not have, I hasten to add. Also I do not pay my fees, the LEA does as my mother is a single parent and my father abandoned me but I don’t blame him, I’m such a fookin loser at times, I would have abandoned me too. So they can get their facts straight, I owe them money, its not my fault the LEA hasn’t paid, although the LEA might only pay when they have confirmation that I have enrolled, but now I’m worried since I have enrolled so late will they even bother paying? THIS IS ALL MY MOTHERS FAULT THE COW. So have to spend my precious time and money sorting this out. I am actually going to physically kill her.

Oh and smelly boy was round again last night. I’m going to have to start having words with her about this as I’m paying half for food and he is round “eating” it every night. And he got all the leftovers from last nights tea for him and his friends so I’m going to tell her I will pay a third for the food or I might even suggest that I buy my own food as he is taking the leftovers for him and his friends, and I’m not being funny but this is not the first time it has happened.

I cooked shepherds pie from scratch last night, gravy and everything-from scratch- that’s right peeps, not just a pretty face I can cook as well- tell all your friends! Anyway it went down storm and smelly arse even ate two plates of it, I actually mean he ate, which is a first for him, and Sonia wants to invite all of her friends round so they can try it too, even I loved it! But this is why I’m pissed off; smelly arse got to take the leftovers! Why the fook, he needs to get a job and start paying for the food. See I don’t know why girls like Sonia find the unemployed attractive, I would much rather be with someone for their dinero!

Sorry I just have to note that fit auditor has bent over in front of me twice since I started writing this, and he has just seen what I have written so I hope he doesn’t understand English, although I don’t know at the minute he is smirking at me (“~) I hope he doesn’t realise I have been gawping at him, although he probably has as I am no way subtle about these things.

And the company that I work for has a factory full of men downstairs, ok the majority of them are old and mingers, especially colonel sanders (tell you more about him in a bit) but there are a few of the smouldering dark haired young ones who come and sit in my office sometimes, but I would never dream of speaking to them as I’m such a loser and they are far too cool for me L.

Anyway Colonel Sanders is a guy who looks like Colonel Sanders off KFC and he is always in my office- speaking Valencian (product of a backwards society) and he always asks everyday if I have a boyfriend and everyday he asks if I have a boyfriend and everyday I tell him no and then EVERYDAY he tells me he has a son who is also single and everyday I grit my teeth and smile (auditor is bent over yet again, I think he is loving this more than me! Although being bent over all the time sounds a bit homosexual!) Anyway colonel sanders was making fun of my paleness yet again so I was like yes you are very funny, I am white like paper as you pointed out, now please don’t mention it again. Realising that I was v. pissed off with him he then started telling me that he wasn’t tanned everywhere…….. and there were places where he was whiter than me ( I dread to think)then he just whipped it out and lobbed it on my desk! Eww and it was whiter than me and it was all hairy and covered in blue veins, I really did not know where to look. I just hope that he isn’t the type of man who wears shorts (well obviously not if the whiter shade of pale was anything to go by) as I don’t think anybody else should be subjected to that!

Sorry I keep writing these mini essays, if I put all this energy into writing my report then it would be happy days, but I have so much to say, everything is one drama after another, although I love my crazy life, and at least with me there is no boredom! (except in these essay things I write to you!) fortunately, at the minute I’m too busy watching auditor and talking to you peeps! Although I really should go. Oh and if anyone wants any perfume, there is a girl selling some really cheap in my work, I personally am about to purchase the jean paul gaultier one, its only 12 quid, so who cares if it is a fake, although I’m pretty sure they are the real thing and have been robbed from somewhere.

Total amount of words read: 1492

I have just one thing to say today (thankgod I hear you all say!)

Happy 21st Birthday Leanne Donnelly 22.11.1985

Wednesday, November 22, 2006

Sorry peeps, I never explained why me and Leanne was so late to Sergio’ borefest. Went out the other night with Sonia and she ended up staying out with her friends, and I went home as I had work the next morning L. So offski’s I trot, oh and the waiter from Don Pepe’s was following me home, then when I spotted him he was like come back to the restaurant and we can have a chupita together, proper begged me, and although the idea of this appealed, there was no way I was going on my own, to a restaurant full of people watching, this town is small, people talk, I already have a bad name for myself oops….. anyway he told me the next time me and my friends walk past we could all have a chupita off him, he doesn’t know I hang around with boys, so I think he would be disappointed that he can’t perv on girls the big fat perv.

Anyway when I woke up that morning I seen a man coming out of Sonia’s room, with her following him, but eeeeeewwwwwww you should have seen him the minger, he looked proper hells angels, with authentic handle bar moustache and everything. Anyway she was kissing him at the door good bye, not a pretty sight. But then as I turn the corner there was a man sleeping on my sofa (still wearing his shoes grrr)anyway as soon as moustache man left she took shoe boy into her room, she was bladdered out of her face and she has been depressed lately but I’m sure she was trying to ask if I wanted to go with her!!!!!! I made my excuses and left for work.

So gets home from work that Friday afternoon as I was expecting my friend Leanne from Madrid, and shoe boy was still there, the house was a shit tip, and there was food all over the kitchen sides and floor. Well, since this was the first time that this has happened I kinda didn’t mind, but wasn’t too impressed that I had to bring a friend back to this, no clean pots or nothing. Shoe boy eventually stayed the weekend and he stank, his hygiene really left a lot to be desired. And he was loud as fook. And he has an obsession with the Song your song by Elton John, so he clocked on that Sonia has Moulin rouge on DVD and he put that song on repeat the whole weekend-no joke. And the house didn’t get cleaned for the whole weekend, I wasn’t doing it, but I felt sorry for my friend who had to stay there. And he had vomited in the bathroom and all Sonia had done was put newspaper over it, I had to have my friend use that bathroom like that, as I clean vomit for no one!

And on the Sunday, I had just said goodbye to Leanne and smelly arse invited his friend round to our house to eat. Well I never. Me and Sonia had just done a whole weeks worth of shopping and I hadn’t eaten anything from it- he had “eaten” it all, and now he invites his friend round, who was a complete minger. He had long greasy hair and a beer belly. He kept winking at me and wolf whistling me in my own home! I was so mad that weekend like you wouldn’t believe. Anyway talking to Sonia and she was like no he was only a bit of fun for the weekend to make me forget about things, he is a disaster, he doesn’t work he is an alcoholic and drug addict and he smells (hmm attractive) and she thought this was funny-no its not funny Sonia you slept with a man who doesn’t wash.

So that night when he invited his friend round for food, I couldn’t bear to watch him eat as he can’t use a knife and fork, Sonia had to cut up his food for him, and he doesn’t actually eat, he takes ALL of the food and then picks at bits even when she cut up his food he ate the tiniest bit-with his hands. And I had made myself some soup from scratch and he ended up taking it and drinking a bit out of it and then was like here you go, so I eventually gave it back to him, as did I seriously want it after he had his dirty hands all over it.

Well that was like two weeks ago and she has been with him ever since, I can’t see why though, he does things like takes her to the mountains and shows her the stars, so she has clearly fallen head over heels with him, but if she asked me I could have done those things for her- I know where Orion’s belt is!

But I have hidden the Moulin Rouge DVD so he cannot put it on blasted repeat, the tw*t. But she knows he has annoyed me so she goes round to his house, so I have been in the house of nighttime on my own every night for two weeks, so I have been lonely as fook, so she eventually has realised this and tried to spend last night with me, but then he went and phoned her so she invited him round!!!!! It is her house though so I can’t really say anything, I don’t mind him in small doses, but the smell nearly knocks me out so now my house will stink for like days now. And I was just about to put an order in with Pauli as he is in blighty at the momento so he can get me some stuff that I really can’t get here, like lined paper and jaffa cakes. Anyway whilst I was trying to dial, I hear the sound of sick hit my tiled floors. It wasn’t actually sick, he had coughed up a load of flem in my living room, but there was a big puddle of it, and guess who had to clean it? –ME. Sonia couldn’t have done it she was cooking my tea, and I really didn’t want her doing it then touching my food, he clearly wasn’t going to bother to clean it either, he is borderline tramp. THEN when I was eating my tea, I had to be subjected to his non useness of cutlery AND he was sat there coughing up flem then swallowing it again. So really I’m going to have to try and say to her, imagine taking him to your parents house or your friends house with that kind of behaviour. I’ve told her that defo on saturday we are going clubbing as I know loads of eligible men (well, eligible…I really should check if some of them have girlfs really shouldn’t I?) that are clean etc.

Sorry I’m going to try and do this on a daily basis so there is less of this to read, as loads of good stuff has happened and I have forgotten.

I am going to Madrid in December, for the Puente and I’m going to Rome and Paris in January, cannot wait, but I love Castellón so much I never wanna leave, I almost never came home for xmas. And I was trying to come home for my best friend in the whole wide world Leanne’s birthday, but it was too much hassle to get to any airport that goes to Manchester and in turn that made it too expensive, but the truth is I didn’t wanna go back to England.

Today you have just read 1281 words!

Sorry peeps that I do not write here as much as I should I bet you have all got bored waiting and don’t even bother to check no more- well this will be a true testament of exactly who is reading this, if you all send me an e-mail telling me you have read this entry!!!!!!! It’s just that I’m so busy with everything I forget or do not have time to write.

Anyway, to start off, after the whole Adriano thing, I was sat around waiting for him to txt me and he never did-he eventually did on a Thursday when we was meant to be meeting up as a group, just to tell me that he couldn’t come as he was working. So I txt him back, to initiate things as I know he is shy so I txt him back asking if he was coming out on Saturday and then he didn’t txt me back!!!!!!!!!

So Saturday comes and I had my best good friend Leanne (not Donnelly, she only wants to visit me in Italy-when I can’t have guests!) visiting me from Madrid, so Sergio was having a house party, me and Leanne turn up four hours late (reasons for this slightly later-BUT I WAS NOT V.HAPPY) and everyone stared at me and went quiet as I walked in as they all knew that something had happened with me and Adriano but they don’t know what, as, thankfully, he doesn’t kiss and tell. So anyway from this initial staring, I was ssssssoooooo embarrassed, really didn’t know where to look, Adriano was looking at me, but I didn’t want people to see me looking back at him, as I hate to be gossiped about, although, normally, I’m the subject of everyone’s gossip, sometimes I don’t help myself, I do such stupid things, I kiss a different boy everyday and sleep with a different one every week, I know I’m such a slut, but really its no fun being a good girl ha ha ;- )

Anyway, I grabbed the nearest available seat possible, even if it meant that Alejandro now had to stand, ah well. So I was chatting away to Leanne and she kept telling me he was staring at me, well I think this is a blatant lie as every time I seen him he was chatting away to Sergio’s girlfriends friend (not too shy then was he??????????) so hiding my slight hurt (as I’m really not that bothered, I still have Ramon, Victor, Vincent et al.!) I was all breezy like, yeah whatever kind of thing.

And the thing with Sergio’s girlfriend Alma and her friends, god love Alma, but her and her friends are a bit more quiet than me and more, well lets say….conservative (or boring). They wear like polo neck jumpers with waistcoats- a little bit Monica Gellar in the very first series of friends. And they are all a bit like, “oh lets sit around giggling about boys whilst we drink this vintage bottle of wine and then comment about it” Ooh and they would never dream of holding a boys hand on the first date. I shouldn’t really slag them as I don’t know them that well and they have been nice to me so far.

Anyway they are all like that and then I come a long loud as fook with my boobs out like WA HEY. I get pissed out of my face and embarrass myself and talk quite vulgar for a girl, so when I seen Adriano chatting to Alma’s friend I thought that they are maybe more suited than me and Adriano would be, as he is terrified of talking to me for some reason and he found it easier to talk to her as he chatted away to her the whole night, so I think he prefers her. Anyway, party was dull and boring so when it finished everyone decided to go to my new second home-ETTRO. Bummin this club as it stays open until 7 en la mañana and the whole of Castellón goes (well that’s not really too difficult)the music leaves a lot to be desired (if I hear walking on sunshine one more time) but you have a laugh there and I have my favourite bar people who give me freebies or top the alcohol up to an unimaginable level-seriously, I have been told it is an embarrassment when I stagger home of a Sunday morning. Seriously when I get back to England, everything is going to seem so shite.

Anyway back to the Adriano thing, when we was walking Alma and her friend that I think Adriano is in love with were linking, giggling away, so I think that Alma is going to set them two up- but listen prissy bitch, if I wanted Adriano I could have him long time ago! Anyway, I digress, prissy bitch ended up going home ha ha, we was in the club and Adriano didn’t speak to me all night, Sergio came up to me to ask what the craic was so I told him that he doesn’t speak to me and I’m entertaining a friend and it is rude for me to leave her just to go and have a difficult conversation with him. I know what you are all saying, if he doesn’t speak then what do I see in him and what is the point etc. but let me tell you that my plans for him didn’t involve no talking!

ANYWAY, I’m annoying myself now. Sergio was just saying yeah he sent you a txt, and I was like one txt four days later, I had moved on and the little shit stirrer (although I love Sergio, but was really drunk on Saturday and ended up telling him my papa don’t preach phase of my life, and I’m so ashamed of my dirty self that I hope he doesn’t remember and if he does I hope he doesn’t tell anyone and for all those of you who don’t know-don’t ask me) so Sergio ran back to Adriano and told him everything I had said in my little rant and THEN Adriano actually came up to me and stood there for ages going “err” “err” then he was like Sergio has told me (all of this in Spanish by the way) Sergio told me that you and I bronca. Well I didn’t have a clue what he had said to me as I didn’t understand the word Bronca, and normally he is so good at explaining things in Spanish if I don’t know something , but all he kept saying was “haber…..err……bronca?” what the fook and then I kept telling him I didn’t understand and all he kept saying was bronca to me, then I asked Leanne if she understood and once again he kept repeating the word bronca to her. In the end he actually tried to explain the word bronca to me but then a song that I love came on so I just grabbed Leanne’s arm and told her we was going to dance quick sharpish to get away from him, but he was mid sentence to me when I did this, so that was slightly bad of me.

Anyway I was dancing away and he came downstairs to follow/stalk me, and at that moment I bumped into Ramon, not seen him for time, just to recap he is the teacher……………that still lives at home with his parents… But still. So I fooked off to talk to him so ended up leaving Leanne on her own (sorry!) so Adriano was watching me chat away to him all night, but do you see how easy it is boy, well I say boy, Adriano is actually shockingly 31 years old and he still can’t talk to girls, what a puffter. Anyway whilst I was talking to him, Adriano just kept repeating the word bronca to Leanne and nothing else, I think she actually wanted to slap him, she really hates him, just from this first meeting, oops. So I think Adriano must have seen me and Ramon neckin in a corner cos he went home without saying bye to me, I didn’t even realise he had gone to be honest. But that night, Vincent (more affectionately known as fat face) and Adriano were chattin the night away too, so I could only imagine what they was talking about. Although this Saturday just passed I was actually finding fat face quite attractive. So he is on my radar for next Saturday, unless Adriano gets his act together, but I will save Adriano for another day I think. And plus I think fat face dresses better, but the thing also with fat face is after that time we was neckin he never bothered, but I dunno whether that was cos he had seen me and Adriano neckin, and as I have previously mentioned Adriano and fat face are friends, so it really wasn’t a nice thing that Adriano did really. Or I dunno whether he really isn’t that arsed. Anyway I have a feeling that Ramon will not grace me with his presence this week-that’s another long story in itself, but I have to do some detective work just to double check something………

Word of the day: colgajo= flap (of skin) unfortunately there is no translation for t**t!

This has been so long today you have just read 1575 words

Tuesday, November 07, 2006

Well I will finally get round to telling you about the weekend. friday night was dark any rainy so I had a hair wash night in big comfy pyjamies and huge socks, and I intended to make myself a huge bowl of mashed potato and peas with gravy made from scratch, couldn't be arsed so just filled myself with freezer food, for these such emergencies!
Saturday night though, still couldn't be arsed going out as it was raining but already promised Caroline. ended up drinking a bottle of wine to myself in my house, then three rum and cokes (this was my housemates fault-she is such a bad influence!) then when I was out that night I ended up drinking in total two martini and lemondes, one malibu and coke, and two rum and cokes, so by the end of the night I was pretty bladdered.
I'm not sure if I have mentioned Adriano before. Well he is a friend of my friends Sergio and Alejandro, and I have seen him for a few weeks now but he never spoke to me and Alejandro and Sergio kept telling me its cos he is shy. But the thing is with Adriano is he isn't ugly, but he isn't instantly stunning, but he is a nice lad and he had summat about him that just made me like him.
Anyway, Saturday night when we was out he was proper chattin away to me all night, and there was one actual point when I ended up talking to a fookin t*at, long hair posh kid, who kept askin me stuff about England then when I told him he kept telling me I was wrong, THEN he started asking me how many people I had slept with before, and when I refused to divulge he was saying but you can tell me if you have ever had sex before- erm no you dick and what are you asking me this for not like I'm gonnna go anywhere near you arse wipe. anyway whilst this was going on I kept noticing that Adriano was looking at me, but then when I looked he looked away dead quick like a child, anyway in the end adriano notioced that I was a bit uncomfortable and came and rescued me.
When we eventually got to the club I was nearly passed hammered, seen the most beautiful lad in the world walk past, so I announced this to all of my friends, then just beelined (the shame) over to him and was proper you're well fit but in Spanish, slurred of course. It turns out he was kind of a friend of Sergio's so Sergio was like I will introduce you properly, but the fit boy kept saying stuff to me and all I kept saying was like sorry I'm pissed I don't understand you speak in English! No one speaks it here though, any way even after this, this lad said to Sergio I really like her so will you give her my phone number for when she is sober, as I don't wanna take advantage of her when she is like this (by this time Sergio had to prop me up!) Now I'm sober I do not have the guts to actually phone him, I'm a little bit ashamed too.
Anyway for some reason me and Adriano had decided to go to the toilet except we didn't actually go toilet, this is where I'm confused as Caroline had to fill me in on quite a lot of the details, I had totally forgot about that lad until she told me. Anyway, I had managed to prop myself up on a pillar to prevent myself from falling. and I was proper waffling away to myself, like you all know I do, and then HE kissed me. so we was neckin for ages (Caroline said for half an hour, but not sure if it was quite that long). Anyway apparantly fat face seen us neckin too, all night I was trying to avoid him and had managed successfully and this he sees, so not impressed.
Anyway Adriano eventually offered to walk me home, so then I was saying to him he might as well stay at mine cos he had football in like two hours and that he could kip in my bed, and then he was like "where are you going to sleep?", so I think I might have to let this one go as he seems to much like hard work. Eventually get him in my house, I kipped in my bed regardless he wanted to sleep on the sofa managed to get him to calm down and share a bed with me, andthen tried my hardest to have sex with him and he wasn't having it, as also this one didn't want to take advantage of me like this and he didn't want me to wake up in the morning with regrets, even though I assured him I probably wasn't going to wake up in the morning (I was seriously that comatose drunk, it was worse than my birthday in 5th ave last year) he still wasn't having it, so after bein defeated I eventually went to sleep.
In the morning though he kind of seemed embarrassed but I gave him my number and I'm still waiting for a txt. I hope I haven't scared him though, although, I've got to say I have never had a boy say no to sex with me before!

Thursday, November 02, 2006

Oh my god peeps i'm so sorry I haven't written anything for ages, it's just that well, I didn't feel like it, I've had my boss sacked, and it doesn't feel to pretty! Oh wait before I go any further I've got something to say: "Cody Ryan Pedley stop copying my idea to have a blog tsk" So I went in to the office of my boss (isidoro, but if you ask me if you name your child that you are blatantly asking for trouble). Anyway, I told him I didn't like it when he talked to me about sex boobs his arse his wife's arse his daughter's arse. Then he was like I didn't mean to offend you its just that your friends boobs are huge. And he continued to talk about them. so I was like it isn't normal for a boss to have these conversations with a girl my and he said yeah I know.

Then when I told the girls in my office they went and complained to Roberto Solsona (the son of the owner of the company who like started this company in 1950's). I didn't know they had complained, so I'm just sat there at my desk pissin about on the e-mail and he comes to me an says I need a word with you in my office. I shat my pants as I thought he wanted a word about me pissin about on the e-mail. anyway he was like I've heard you have problems with Isidoro, and then I said yeah but I don't wanna complain or create problems here as I am only a student but then he said that we don't think of you like that as you are a person as well. So I told him I won't go into detail but he speaks to me dirty and stuff. So he basically told me that I wasn't to go to his office no more and he was to have no more contact with future students, which I was fine with. So all friday we had no contact and everyone was like go laura, you stood up to him and I was buzzing.

Then at the lunch time, once again I was called to Roberto's office, but this time it was to have a meeting with his dad, Señor Solsona, who like started the company in the 1950's and he just explained to me that it isn't normal to have men like this in Spain and asked exactly what he had said, so I told him a few examples and, well, he wasn't too happy.

Then on Monday, oops, I finished teaching Oscar and came back and Isidoro was having a big disciplinary with señor and his son's and he was there for like an hour, and after that he came to his office and he was shuffling paper and ripping paper. Then in the afternoon the company lawyer came..................to sack him.

Man alive I felt so bad. However after they had sacked him he went to Jesus and said that this is going to destroy his family and that my friend is small with huge boobs and that I am beautiful so why am I not allowed to comment? So in the end he was his own undoing as he admitted exactly what he had done to the Solsona's. But then he was saying to Jesus that I have destroyed his family this is going to destroy his wife as she has said that if he can't hold down to a job she is going to leave him for someone who can.

Tuesday morning came in to work and he had come in as well to sign his redundancy papers. Then he was kind of hanging round and then when I went to the coffee machine (I always get sent) I heard Isidoro in the office of Señor Solsona begging for his job back, I mean how degrading a man of 52 begging for his job. But then strangely he just hung about all day playing on the internet (as per usual, I kind of let this slip to the Solsona's that he plays on google earth demanding to know where my house is in England) and continuing to work, then at like 4 in the afternoon, Señor Solsona came into Isidoro's office and was like what are you still doing here and then Isidoro was like I'm collecting my things and then Solsona was like what things you don't own anythings all these things in here are mine, you have one minute to vacate the premises anything you have left here we will send on to you. So then Isidoro came out of his office with a pathetic little plastic bag of his stuff (mainly food might I add, now I understand why he is a fat bastard) and for some reason he came into my office to speak to Carmen and give her something like eyedrops or summat strange, like he is strange, horrible little man. Anyway he was right in front of me and he looked at me and his face was bright red and his eyes were blood shot and he had been crying. So I felt shitty and so bad that I had made a grown man cry. In the end he got escorted off the premises. So I have ruined a family and I have spoiled their Christmas, as I know deep down he deserved it but he has three daughters and nothing is their fault and now they are going to have a shit xmas cos of me. Plus the girls in the office are saying that he will most likely have to take early retirement as he is going to really struggle to find a new job as he was sacked for sexual harrassment, so obviously no one is going to hire him.

Also where I live it's a really small town so everybody talks and everybody knows everyone's business so everyone knows Isidoro, and not one person has a good word to say about him in the first place. there have been certain times when someone was so angry with him, she took a sack of potatoes out of her car and attacked him with them and then smashed his windscreen. Another time when he got sacked from my friends company they all took their keys and scratched his car. And one time someone even brought a baseball bat into work and just twatted him- because he was talking about his daughters pubic hair, might I add.

Anyway the second he was gone everyone whipped champagne out and the whole of the offices were celebrating that he has gone and they have all been coming by for the past couple of days to congratuate me, seriously this is how much everyone hates him- Hitler had more fans. Really tired now, so I will write tomorrow about my weekend!