FAT FACE DIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (more about him later, twat flap)

I’m so sorry for not writing more often and that is why these blogs are so long but I’ve been soooooooooo busy at work and I’ve got my report to write and I’m in the process of moving to Italy. So Friday, managed to skive the afternoon off work as Leanne and Cody were coming, but by the time I got to the bus stop I’d just missed a bus so had to wait half an hour for the next one, then when the bus did come, I got on it, but didn’t know it had changed its route so it took me all the way to the other side of town, so by the time I had walked from there and got into my house, I only had half an hour extra free, so lesson learned, do not skive and lie at work!

So went home and tried cleaning the house, but smelly arse came so I couldn’t do it for ages. When he eventually left I managed to scrub it from top to bottom, and he must be the filthiest person I have had the unpleasure to meet as I had only cleaned it the day before and the water was black filthy. He is a dirty scruffy tramp.

Anyway legs it down to the coach station; Cody and Leanne were nowhere to be seen. So I phoned them and Cody was like yeah we are still on the coach, Leanne doesn’t recognise where we are. I’m so gullible, I always believe stuff like that, but that’s because I honestly never believe people lie to me, it takes a while to twig on you see ;-p So very funny and hilarious they jumped out from behind (Cody likes it from behind!) I screamed like a girl in front of well-fit policemen L

So we had to go to the old English court there as I hadn’t had time to get food in. We ended up buying our alcohol supplies and because they had brought their bags I had to carry the 4 bottles of 2-litre coke that we had bought. They was well heavy too, but I struggled on regardless without complaint. As we was walking though, I swear I saw fat face driving his car, didn’t let on though so I thought it mustn’t be…

We nearly got to my house and I was thinking thank fook (Leona stop using the word fook on you’re my space and other profiles that you have please oh and also skidaddle and if you use the word twat flap, I’m afraid I’m going to have to sue as it is my trademark and I know how much you have in your ISA mwahahahaha!)anyway I was thinking than fick I’m near my house as I can put these heavy as fook bottles down and as I was thinking this daydreaming and looking at the clouds, etc, I wasn’t watching (stop laughing Cody and Leanne) where I was going, so I kind of stepped into a little pot hole that was dangerously in the pavement. Well, my knee and ankle bent different ways and because I was carrying the coke bottles on my front they kind of weighed me down so I did a kind of aeroplane landing impression with my arms out like wings my head pointing towards the floor, and I must have looked a right tit cos I was doing that but running for ages as well, then I managed to get my balance and stand up, but then I just smacked on the floor. I kind of looked around all dazed as it really knocked me for 6. Cody and Leanne restrained themselves from laughing until I gave them my blessing to. They both said I looked a right nob but the funniest thing was my face. I kind of sat on the floor, looking round with confusion mouth wide open, eyes in disbelief like I had no idea how I had got there. I was slightly dazed and confused though, I did just twat my head off the pavement. Although writing this now, I find it so funny, I really wish I could have seen it from their point of view. I was absolutely mortified at the time that they, out of all the people (if it was Caroline, she no way would have laughed) to have seen it, it had to be them two. Although I’m glad I had someone with me as if that would have happened on my own, I would have had no one to scurry away in embarrassment with L It was fookin hilarious, although from my bruising Cody said that I have burst a blood vessel as I have a big lump on my palm. Cody is a bit of a wannabe doctor though as he also diagnosed me with scabies, more about that later! So we went home I fed Leanne as me and Cody were not hungry and we dranked and skidaddled on down to Raspa bar. Unfortunately the really really fit bar man I’m in love with wasn’t there, but we was going there for Cody really as he likes that type of music. I also made friends with my first Spanish cat, it followed us for like 20 mins, (well I say us, it was only really me, it was so sweet, no collar so if I wasn’t leaving in 2 weeks, I well would have had that cat)

Anyway, had an alright time there and this was when Cody diagnosed me with scabies. Leanne thinks its eczema, basically I have really dry skin on my hands that has been bleeding. I’ll go pharmacist tonight and seek professional help, just to put my mind at rest. Anyway Cody wanted to go somewhere and dance so I took him to Ettro, he doesn’t like this club, but like I say, you have to see the positives, its free, its cheap and its open until half 7 in the morning, and its 2 minutes away from my house, what more do you want? And you do get used to the music after a while and you actually look forward to all the fat man scoop that they play (lift your leg up, everybody dance now) but we ended up going at like 5 in the morning as we were supposed to be going to Valencia the next day.

Well Valencia didn’t happen as we didn’t actually get to the train station until like half four and the next train wasn’t until 5:25, although whilst we were there, I bought my train ticket for Barcelona for when I go to Italy. Ah, that was quite tear inducing L although after the shoddy treatment off the likes of fat face, Italy-bring it on! On the way to the train station Leanne went arse over tit! It wasn’t as funny or undignified as me falling she only slipped and fell one leg stretched out in front of her and the other leg she had fallen on her knee, but managed to grab on to me when she fell, so even though it was quite funny I bet my fall was the funniest they have seen in their entire lives, lol!

We ended up nipping into El Corte Inglés and I can’t quite remember why though, but Leanne decided to print some photos off using the little machine thing. Well she only went and broke it didn’t she. We asked for some assistance and the lady took her memory card and disappeared for half an hour and we faffed about for ages in there. I would say all in all we was in there for half an hour. Eventually we got Leannes fotos printed and then dandered on all the way through Parque Ribalta, until Leanne realised that the woman had not given her memory card back… so we traipsed all the way back and the people in Corte Inglés are so rude, we were blatantly waiting and there was some woman (who appeared to be the manager, way to go to set a good example) who was just chatting away to her friend! Like how rude! In the end we eventually got the memory card back. In the end we eventually got to Plaza Santa Clara to tomar algo. So anyway we was tomaring algo when I seen Sergio’s little brother walk past. He is friends with fat face. The whole of Fat faces friends were there and let on to me but fat face didn’t. I’m not actually sure if ha was there, but I’m sure I saw someone who resembled him from behind-not letting on to me, I really should change his name to twat face!

Anyway as we was leaving we walked past a Kodak shop so Cody wanted to print his pictures there. Then Leanne decided she wanted one of tem 2 blown up, then we eventually left. Nearly got to my house, when Leanne realised that her purse wasn’t in her bag… So we had to run all the way back to the shop, luckily for her it was still there.

Wanted to make them a shepherd’s pie went to the supermarket but they didn’t have any mince left. We had to make do with buying burgers to separate the meat and make it into mince. We didn’t end up eating til like midnight or something, and Cody didn’t peel enough potatoes so it had to be spread very thinly. I was absolutely knackered after the pressure of entertaining and cooking a meal and thought I would have a little sleep whilst Leanne and Cody were getting ready… Big mistake, as then I didn’t want to wake up ever! So we eventually toddled out straight to Ettro at like half 2 in the morning.

I’m actually mortified about this now, that’s why it has taken so long for me to write this entry, painful, embarrassing memories, but I blame Leanne and Cody a little bit as they should have actually, physically restrained me, but fat face didn’t come for ages and in this time I actually drank myself silly. I’m not sure when he arrived, but I eventually spotted him, I know for a fact that he saw me but he never bothered to come and say hello. Then I see him flirting with some girl on the stairs in front of full view of everyone. I turned my back to this as I would not let him have the satisfaction of him seeing me flirting away.

Anyhoo, these two lads came over to talk to me and Verity, I honestly can’t remember what they looked like, Leanne said they were full beasts, but I think we’ve all established that if I go for people with huge heads then I don’t really have that much taste, lol! Anyhoo, when I get drunk I always get a bit touchy-feely so I was touchy-feely with them and fat face seen and he was not at all happy, him and all his friends kept looking over and pointing and fatty looked a bit pissed off. I kept going toilet like every 10 seconds, but whenever I drink I always go toilet, although no one believes me, Leanne and Cody well think I was doing it to walk past fatty but I didn’t really wanna walk past him in the state I was in, but I would rather not wet myself in front of anyone either. Anyway I seen fatty about to leave so I eventually went to speak to him. He was like I’m off home, I’m going to sleep, like I’m bothered, you wasn’t coming here with me anyway. Anyway we was chatting a bit then Leanne come over and took a picture of fatty, he will regret that til the day he dies as now Cody is going to put Mr. Bean in a sexual pose with fatty hopefully. So that will get shown to as many peeps as possible before I leave in 2 weeks.

Anyway, I fully followed him out to the butty shop, this is where I embarrassed myself, I just waffled away to myself about random shit, Cody said I was being a bit aggressive, but that was because Cody had a wank and cum all over my shower and he was moaning all night about how I fed him dead animal as the gravy wasn’t vegetarian, get over it, what a hypocrite, you drink wine that isn’t vegetarian. Anyway, Fatty called Cody a faggot, so Cody was like what did you just say? And then fat face was like oh no I called my friend a faggot, likely story, and he told my friend Verity that even though she speaks really good Spanish he doesn’t like her! Although she did go up to him and called him a bastard, but that is because he is.

And I kept standing there going on in English about how he is a brief wearing bender and he was eating oranges in my kitchen naked and how he really isn’t all that big, despite what I told him. And about the time that he moaned because I took up all the room in my bed, but that is because I had to, his head took up all the pillow space.

And fatty’s friends asked if they could come and stay at my house when I’m in England, so I was like yeah, and they seemed shocked, not arsed, if they wanna come, they can come, really doesn’t bother me, so we shall see come next September shall we… It would be absolutely hilarious if they came!

Eventually get home and Cody and Leanne said I looked like a proper keeno. I’m so embarrassed and ashamed of myself. Next week I will apologise for my drunken behaviour just the bit where I was being aggressive and embarrassing though, nothing else, wish fatty a nice life and leave it at that. I dunno who on earth he thinks he is at all, there was no at all reason to ignore me at all, a hello would have been nice. What a twat, that has seriously put me off him.

Anyway, Leanne and Cody got off to Madrid ok, I’m gonna actually miss not being in the same country as Leanne. Even though we are 5 and a half hours away, and it seems ages away, but in comparison to me being in a different country L Anyway, me and Leanne are going to live together next year so hopefully we will have a scrotum sack full of laughter.

Leona phoned me the next day and was giving me advice as she is now loved up with a silver van man, and she basically said, fat face has had his wicked way by doing you and so now I need to go out and do someone else, but I don’t know exactly what she wants me to “do” with someone else…

Random Word of the Day: chocho = pussy! (not the cat variety)

Total word count of the day: 2528 words

Nothing much really going on at the moment, I haven't really left the house, and I've been trying to get my year abroad report done.

I've booked my flights for Italy. fook I'm shitting myself. I was never scared about going to Spain, but I'm fickin pooping my pants at the thought of Italy, and I'm actually glad I've got Sarah there.

Leanne and Cody are coming to visit me this weekend!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! They sound like they are having a ball over there together. I wish I was near someone who is up for the craic like that. Like even though I've got Caroline, she never gets drunk or seems to realx when we are out, so I always get drunk on my own :-(

I dunno whether I told you I was friends with Ramon again, well I seen him out on Saturday, he nodded his head at me but didn't speak, and he was with girls who were slightly flirty, and he was pointing me out to his friend or whoever he was with and it was all wink, wink, nudge, nudge, say no more.

Saw fatface on saturday, he came back to mine but he was really quiet the next day, and he shouted at me cos I was taking up a load of room in the bed, but I'm sorry, his head was taking up all of the room on my pillow, where else was I meant to go?????? Anyway at 4 he had to rush off "family meal" so a few hours after he left I txt him saying that I'd had a really good time and does he want to come round and, well, basically shag me again. He hasn't replied. So now I'm really paranoid, I mean it's not like I wanna marry the guy, I just wanna shag him, so hopefully he isn't a gay in disguise and is only shagging me out of a necessity to put his friends off the scent........hopefully............

Also, once again Verity rocks!!!!!!!! Although she did break a glass in my house, I wasn't arsed though, as you can see I've broken a thousand things in my house, she keeps trying to give me money for it though thats quite sweet.

Also, I really cannot mention any names or details as both parties concerned would absolutely kill me (well, not really, I could well have them in a fight, but you know, it was metaphorical for the affetc ; p)Anyway everybody just spills the most embarrassing intimat secrets about themselves and other people, I wish I could publish what I know but seriously. Anyway they are some of the funniest things I have ever heard in my life. And there is one person that I'm surprised is able to get themselves out of bed everyday, they are a walking, talking embararassment!!!!! We still love this peroson though. Sorry that is so vague, its just that I'm still laughing today, and now people think I'm weird- whats new!

Nothing much else to report, I've a feeling these passing weeks will be v. quiet whilst I'm preparing to leave.

Ciao ragazzi!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh and I did say that I would put photo's on but I have to do it one by one individually and I can't be arsed at the minute, when I have time I will defo put them on, brighten this page up a bit!

Sorry I haven’t written for a while, I’ve been snowed under at work, I shouldn’t even really be writing this now, but what the hey, I know you need your daily fix! I’ve just got to mention that the entry I wrote about Paris, I made it out to be really bad but I did enjoy it, not as much as Rome though, but Leona could never compete with Rome as the place was full of fit men, there was only one I seen who had glasses that was a minger. Although I did only enjoy Paris as I got to see Leona, and she was an absolute star, when we was rushing to the airport I didn’t have time to post my postcards so she did it for me and they arrived on Wednesday, which was pretty quick. No seriously that last post was a private joke between us, so I hope she got it, as she hasn’t been e-mailing me back….

Anyway, not been up to much, been trying to get this report done, so been doing my grammar. I’ve pretty much done it, just need to actually do the evidence for the appendices and I need to sort out the presentation of it. And I finally finished the translation about the merger, Oscar gave me feedback, he said it was really good, the grammar was spot on the only criticisms were the order of words and translating the exact meaning, but apart from that he was really pleased!

Luís still doing my head in beyond belief. Me and Sonia argued a little bit as I had to tell her the girl that is coming after me doesn’t want to take over my room, so she needs to find someone else. She went a bit mad because she thinks I have told her something about Luís, I haven’t but she doesn’t altogether get that if she had decided to have come, then I would need to tell her about Luís, she can’t just expect people to live with an alcoholic. People don’t want these kinds of problems and responsibilities in their lives. So she needs to look for someone else, but she will have a hard time keeping anyone in her house with his behaviour. Like on Saturday, I had just cleaned the entire house from top to bottom and then he came round pissed out of his face….. He ended up pissing on the floor instead of in the toilet and when I told him about it he only cleaned half of it up with toilet paper. So because Sonia was really Ill in the end I was the one who had to clean it with bleach. And anything he drank or ate ended up on the floor so I had to clean it as well. I was supposed to be having a friend round but decided against it. And then because they were staying at my house I knew I would have to put up with them the next day so I couldn’t really have people back.

Anyway, I’ll fast forward to the Saturday night. Met with Verity who is an English girl we met before Xmas. Caroline wasn’t coming out as she is stressed to fook about this report, but the more you stress about things the less productive you are I think. Anyway we went to her friend’s house as they were having food so I popped along, I already knew one girl there, Daisy, she is from Texas. Anyway after the food we tried going to this shisha place, but it was crowded, so we went to a German pub across the road, but none of Verity’s friends wanted to drink, they didn’t even want to drink coke, so me and Verity were slightly bored so decided to go round the corner to El Jardi, it’s a garden themed place and you sit on garden furniture, it’s a bit shit but its only 3.50€ for a rum and coke and they don’t have measures so you can get absolutely piddled!

Anyway, we was in there for like an hour and decided to go but as I was walking out fat face stopped me. He was with his usual little group and others who kept pawing me and he was so proud but not in a good way in a way like “yeah, I shagged her” kind of way, like a bit big-headed about the whole thing (big head as in metaphorical), so I was a bit put off anyway, I knew he had a bighead (as in physical) but it seemed unusually huge today, and his hair wasn’t that nice either. And his friends were leering and touching me and stuff. Anyway he asked me about my Xmas and that was it whilst his friends kept staring at my arse and saying guapa over and over again.

Anyway we all started to walk over to Ettro, but they went somewhere else so was dancing away, and later and fat face and his little cronies came in, but he didn’t speak to me all night. Then I lost them. So I was getting one of my obsessions on, but only because I thought it was the height of rudeness to not speak to me in ettro or offer to buy me a drink or anything-how rude! So this is why I had my little obsession and no other reason.

Anyway in my little mission to track fat face down, who did I go and bump into but Ramon. So I tried to ignore him but he fookin chased me upstairs didn’t he. He was like can we talk please so I was like yes, but because Verity was with me and it was just us two she didn’t have anywhere to go while he tried to have a little waffle on with himself. So he kept saying I need to speak with you in private, but in the end he started chatting away while Verity was there. I told her what he said to me and she was mad! She was like why don’t you just get away from her she is far too pretty for you to be even looking at her, let alone speaking to her, and because he was grovelling to fook he kept going yeah I know she is too pretty for me. He just basically tried to apologise and then tried to turn it round on me saying he sent me a txt saying sorry, but he so didn’t as I didn’t receive it, I got nothing but abusive txts off him. He basically said that he didn’t want to sleep with me and then not see me for weeks on end as he really likes me and that he hopes I’ll forgive him, so then I was like I’ll forgive you but only as friends and nothing more as I leave soon. So then we kind of left it but when I was dancing he was just stood there giving me evils, but seriously really really bad evils.

Then I saw fat face’s friends so I was like is it just you two alone, and they was like yeah. Fat face actually has a really nice friend, he never seems to letch over girls like the others do and he seems really, really sweet. He isn’t actually bad looking but he is a lot shorter than me. But if he was tall I would defo turn my attentions on him! Anyway I asked him where fat face was and he was like oh he went home early he has had a busy week and was travelling a lot with his job so he is really tired. But his friend didn’t look me in the eye when he said this and he was a bit shifty so I think he got fat face to lie for him and I think fat face took another girl home and that is why he didn’t say goodbye.

Anyway was chatting away to fat face’s sweet friend. I was telling him that I move to Italy soon and he was like you should go to Florence, there is a really nice cathedral there. So I was like, listen love, I’m not really going for the religion, have you seen how fit the Italian boys are, they are the most beautiful boys I’ve ever seen in my life. And then he was like no but there are lots of pretty churches in the Veneto…aww bless, he is so sweet! So I’m gonna get chatting to him more often.

Kept seeing Ramon, he tried to give me a drink, but I refused it and ignored him. I actually felt a bit bad about that as he was trying to grovel and be sincere and me and Verity was pissed so we just kept ripping the piss out of him to his face. In the end I went home-alone because there was some boy who was absolutely in love with himself, just wouldn’t have it that I wouldn’t go home with him so he kept grabbing my arm and trying to drag me to places, but he was a pussy boy and I was stronger than him! When I got home I txt Ramon to say sorry for being nasty with him when he was trying to apologise. And he txt me back saying:

That’s fine, I’m not angry with you, I only want you to understand why I did what I did, at the end I suppose the thing is that I like you and that’s why I regret what I did.

Then I txt him back saying I’m only here for a few weeks

Then he txt me saying: short time doesn’t mean we can’t have a drink (or two) think about it

Then I txt him back saying no I don’t think you understand, I leave in 4 weeks I don’t actually have time to see you

Then he txt me back saying: I know you leave in 4 weeks. You keep telling me. You see, I’d like to see you again in these 4 weeks. If in any case you feel the same, I’d be glad.

So I felt a bit sorry for him and decided to forgive him completely, I’m probably stupid, so looks like me and him are back on, and I did really miss him in the month that we were not speaking and I was hoping that he would just txt me (as there was no way I was txting him 1st)but I think he gave up a bit too easily as if he did like me, if I were him I would mither with txt messages, but he never bothered, so I don’t think he likes me as much as he says.

Then almost straight away fat face was ringing me, so I hung up on him. Then felt bad, but it was like half 7 in the morning, so I txt him asking what the fick he wanted, so he txt me back saying:

Do you want me to come to yours tomorrow to see you?

Then I txt him back saying, I’m not all that arsed (all of this is in Spanish by the way)

Then he txt me saying: I’ll come to yours at 4 in the afternoon, I’ll phone you before, sweet dreams.

Then I had to actually drag myself out of bed and started to get myself ready, when I got out of the shower I had the following message waiting for me:

Hey! Sorry but I forgot that I have a family meal to go to and then later I’m going to watch the football. Shall we leave it for another day, its better, kisses my gorgeous1

So what do you all think of that. Forgot he had a family meal? My eye. His family don’t live in Castellón, so I think he was up to something, so I look forward to all of your feedback when I e–mail you all individually. I think he was with another girl, how on earth do you forget you have a family meal to go to, so I need to be all breezy and like whatever, the next time I see him, me thinks. How dare he! Seriously, I can’t wait to get to Italy now, the boys here just mess me around, I’ve never known anything like it.

So I spent all day pissed off because of him. Anyhoo, nothing much else to report except- VERITY ROCKS!!!!!

Also just been outside for a smokypoos and I saw a wasp pumping away its back end on a car, does this mean it was having sex? Wasp sex would be a very interesting topic of conversation!

Random word of the day: callos = tripe (what fat face was speaking to me)

Total word count of the day: 2155 words

I waffled on so much yesterday; I will try to keep it short. When I got home from Paris, Sonia was in a mood, so I knew straight away that she had had an argument with Luís. I eventually got it out of her what it was about. She had taken Luís to her auntie’s house in the country and her auntie I might mention is an elderly lady. Well, apparently he didn’t behave well, he had been drinking so he turned up pissed out of his face, add to that that he never has a shower, he would have made a great impression. So I dunno exactly what he did, but Sonia said he didn’t behave very well and that her auntie went mad and said never to bring him to my house again, etc. So, I think Sonia went mad at him for it and he told her it was all her fault because she didn’t look after him properly. So we went through the whole rigmarole of this is it, and I don’t want to see him again, etc. So I was thinking she meant it this time. But oh no, on Monday she tells me that they are friends now she is going to sleep at his house on tuesday. So I’m really mad with her now, when is she going to open her eyes, that he is a complete twat and a waste of time? And I’ve noticed a pattern emerging. Every time Sonia doesn’t have the money to buy his alcohol, that is when he shouts and goes mad at her. I was actually really worried about the girl who comes after me taking over my house, as she definitely wouldn’t put up with it, and after a week she would move out. But thankfully, she has found somewhere else to live without me even having to say anything. As Sonia doesn’t realise that it is her decision to spend time with an alcoholic and drug addict, it isn’t ours and she can say what she wants but do you think that it is acceptable for me to have to put up with him getting coked out of his face on a Wednesday?

Also I don’t know whether I have already mentioned, but on Wednesday last week, I came home and I noticed Luís’s phone just lying around. There was no one at home, so I know I shouldn’t have, but I went through and read his messages. As it turns out, Sonia is not the only girl he has, so when he does stuff like just get off and leave her randomly, I’m pretty sure that’s where he goes. Also he claims to have no money, but he has money to spend on Prostitutes. I’m in two minds whether I should say something or not. Although, I’ve decided it’s best not to say something, and my reasons are 3-fold:

1. She will be more mad at me for reading his messages
2. She will never leave him as she is that desperate for a man she will take anything
3. He will lie his way out of things and she will believe him and be mad at me

So I have decided to keep shut. She will find out eventually, but even then she will not leave him; she will probably stay with him and forgive him. I do not understand how she can be so desperate for a man she will take the unwashed, unemployed, drug addict and alcoholic. When will she open her eyes? It really is frustrating me, so maybe it will shock her when she can’t find anyone to live with and she has to get two jobs again just to pay the rent. As since Petra wisely decided not to come here no more, she is going to fond it really difficult to find someone who will be willing to put up with him. Even then she won’t kick him out, he will take over her house and it will stink and be a mess forever. She keeps saying he is going in March he only works in the summer months, as he is a man of the mountains and when he is in the mountains he doesn’t drink, but I’ve been hearing this every week since she has known him, and he never ever leaves. So I will have to have yet another word with her about him, and explain that even though this is her house, it is her decision to spend time with someone who has a lot of problems. Like if I had known that this was going to go on for such a long time, I would have moved a long long time ago, but she kept promising me that he wouldn’t be coming here no more.

And, I’m going to have a huge big waffle now. The Spanish justice system and government is corrupt. There is a guy here called Farraquito (I’m not entirely sure how that is spelt) Anyway, he is like a famous flamenco dancer or singer, I’m not sure, but the majority of flamenco dancers or singers are gypsies. Anyway, I digress; he was driving a car when he doesn’t have a licence, without insurance, he was also drunk and speeding, drove through a red light, killed a man and didn’t bother to stop. He only got 3 years in prison. That is really bad, but the story of how he only got 3 years in prison is even worse. The police were originally investigating him for drugs or something along those lines (excuse the pun!) and they had bugged his phone and they heard a policeman having a conversation telling him to blame his little brother for the hit and run as he is 16 nothing at all will happen to him, he won’t even have a criminal record. So his little brother went in and blamed it all on himself so the police obviously didn’t do anything as the legal age to prosecute in Spain is 18. It was only when they heard this phone conversation that they realised what had happened. But somehow this got leaked out to the press as it always does, so it was actually the press and the media that started asking questions and campaigned for criminal charges to be brought against him. He eventually went to court and managed to pay his way out of prison, he paid 100,000 to the widow, and goodness knows what other amount he had to pay to the government, hence the reason for no sentence, because he is rich he was able to pay his way out.

Then the widow appealed, as she quite rightly said, how can she explain to her two small children that the man that ruthlessly killed their father is free lap it up in the life of luxury? Always seen going to parties always on the telly, earning copious amounts of money from selling drugs and singing or dancing like a puff or whatever he does. How can she protect them from any further damage by allowing them to know that there was no justice for their father who was quite rightly minding his own business crossing the road-with a green man, and the arrogant pisshead that killed him didn’t even have the guts to stop and help him? When asked at his trial why he didn’t stop and help him, Farraquito said that he didn’t even know that he had knocked over a killed a man. That is a pile of shite. Had he not known that he had knocked over a man, then surely he would not have asked his little brother to lie for him, or involved a policeman to give him “legal advice”. Had he not knocked over a man then surely there would be no damage to his car. As I would imagine that if he was speeding there would have been an almighty bang as the mans skull smashed against the bonnet, leaving a huge dent. But they seemed to accept his explanation at his trial and never questioned him on the above points. So when it came to the verdict at the appeal, he was yet again ordered to pay more money and this time he had his passport removed so that he could not leave the country for like three years. Big wowza. I suppose that brought great comfort to the mans two small children knowing the punishment for their fathers murderer was that he couldn’t go on holiday for 3 years aww diddums.

So again the widow rightly appealed but this time took it to the Spanish Supreme Court. In the end they decided to give him 3 years for driving without a licence, without insurance, driving under the influence of alcohol, speeding, failing to stop at a red light, manslaughter, failing to stop at the scene of an accident, failing to report an accident and perjury. And he only got 3 years maximum for that, as the judge said that since he didn’t realise he had knocked someone over, the whole thing was one big misunderstanding. If he behaves well he will be released within a year. How absolutely disgusting is that? And, originally they were not even going to give him anything or make him pay any money because he is famous! It was only when the media campaigned and protested that something was eventually done.

And what got my back up even more was that I heard that a man in England made his dog obese and he was sent to prison for that! How topsy-turvy.

People don’t realise how lucky they are to be living in England, they really don’t. Like there might be no sunshine constantly, like there is here, but at least if a famous person in England did that, they would be looking at a hefty prison sentence, hopefully….

Right my judgemental waffle over now. It’s just that this has been in the news constantly and it’s really pissing me off.

Right, on to more positive happy things, I’m putting on my photos as promised!

Random word of the day: crápula = drunkenness!

Total word count of the day: 1705 words

Right peeps, where to starts with Paris? Leona, this is all going in my blog. Well was supposed to meet my friends boyfriend at half 5 por la mañana for him to take me to the airport, but I didn’t actually wake up until 5:20. It was my own fault as once again, I left my packing til the early hours of the morning, and then I sat down for five seconds in the living room, and then couldn’t be arsed to actually go to bed. So I had to txt her boyf quick sharp, but he told me not to worry, to take my time… Anyway I ended up meeting him at 6:15, which actually is a better time because then I get to check in at about half 7, an hour before my flight which is respectable I suppose.

Anyway at the check in desk the fit lad that I seen the other day when I went to Rome (who was well staring at me!) wasn’t there, aww. Recently, I dunno what is up with me but I keep beepin in security, I beeped both times coming to and from Rome and I beeped both times coming to and from Paris! I think I’m filled with electricity you see, cos I can’t touch metal things :-( Anyway, get my flight ok, and Vueling airlines, not too shabby for Laura, they showed friends and the Simpsons (and extreme sports, but you know, they gotta have something for everyone) with the choice of English or Spanish, so I watched friends in Spanish and the Simpsons in English, only because I can understand friends in Spanish but not the simpsons, I don’t think the translations are any good. Anyway I arrive at Charles de Gaulle (or however it is spelt) and this airport is terrible. It is soooo confusing. Its full of like domes and plastic tunnels, I felt like a hamster, scuttling through all them tunnels, and the floor wasn’t solid, it was made of spongy stuff, so it really was quite disorientating. Anyway when I first got off the plane I needed the toilet, so I went but then couldn’t find the luggage carousel and since I went to piss there was no one from my flight around and for the life of me I could not find it. I eventually found a random woman that spoke English and she was like I know I’ve been coming to this airport for years and I still don’t know my way around. Ended up having to walk for about half an hour to where my suitcase was, and you would have thought that in this time my suitcase would have been there but no one’s had arrived-shabby treatment from the French I have to say. Eventually gets my suitcase (on a sloping carousel so that they all fell off instead of going round- I do not understand this airport, why? WHY?) Anyway, unlike Paul Leona wasn’t making the effort to come and meet me, but she reluctantly gave me directions I suppose, so I should be grateful. Anyway the directions she gave me were wrong, she gave me directions for terminal 3 I was in terminal 1. This airport is massive, I am tiny, and as the Americans would say, “you do the math.”

Anyway, decided not to panic, as Leona had mentioned that they speak English in the airport. Like the directions this was a lie. I was asking and asking but no one spoke English, Spanish or Italian. Everybody has said well this is normal, you were in France, but, come one, a big international airport like that there should be more than the one person that I found that speaks English. I know as us English and Americans are ignorant and we don’t bother to learn languages, well I do, but on the whole no one learns them as they expect that the whole world speaks English. Well shocker people, they don’t! Anyway, I managed to find myself some sort of exit but as I got outside, there were three policemen pointing really big scary guns at some young boy. I shat myself big style, but when I realised this was a homeless boy, I decided to stay and watch.

I actually felt so sorry for him. Homelessness seems to be a big problem in France, in Spain and Italy as well, but not on the same level. Homeless people in our country do not know they are born. Seriously. I know that sounds harsh but there really is no excuse to be homeless in England, we have charities and the Salvo Army, the big issue and places they can go; they just don’t want to as it means they would have to stop drinking or taking drugs. In other European countries there is nothing at all like this, and there is no kind of Social Security, so if you end up being homeless you are fooked. It really is heartbreaking :-(

Anyway, I phoned Leona who had gone into work on the day that I was coming, she told me she would go into work and then tell them she is ill so that they send her home, I had a feeling this would all go balls up. She told me I needed to get off at gare du nord and that she would meet me by the main exit. Again this was a lie, well that is where I got off, but it wasn’t even called gare du nord. Its called Paris nord and I only found this out as I had a feeling I was in the right place as it looked like a huge train station, so I said “gare du nord” and they were pointing for me to get off. By the skin of my teeth. I hope you are reading this Leona as now you might realise that while you were swanning about in your work with the office opposite Jacque Chirac on the champs elyseé thinking you are posh, who is the diva now bitch! I was having no picnic with my journey into Paris.

I gets in the train station, and I kept asking people for the exit, but as no one spoke English, they just kept taking me to trains. I didn’t fickin want trains; I wanted to get the hell out of there. I really dunno what is up with the French as this wasn’t just a train station, it was a shopping centre with restaurants and shops and stuff, but also it doubled up as a maze. Tried phoning Leona, was not impressed with the little madam, she decided not to answer her phone, I only had one bar of phone battery left, so I had to quick sharp write her number down so I could use a phone box. But oh no, you can’t put coins in a phone box in France you have to buy a phone card, so where the fick do you get phone cards from. To this day I still have no idea. Anyway, I started my long, long wait. I went and got something to eat, and I hate sitting in places by myself eating, but recently it hasn’t bothered me if I have needed to go to a café whilst I’m out shopping or whatever. Anyway I sent a couple of really abusive txts to Leona as by this time it was like half one and I had arrived in Paris at half ten in the morning so she should have been out of work by this time. I was getting really angry with her. Eventually I phoned her and she was like “I’m in the station now, I’m trying to find you” But I had no fickin idea where on earth I was, all I knew was I was near some doors and in a café.

She eventually found me chain smoking (through stress you understand) and I really did try to be mad with her, and I have no idea why but I wanted to smile when I seen her, so I had to look away. The cow. She should have just let me be angry. Anyway as a “treat” she paid for me to get a taxi to her house “ooh-big deal”. Got to her house, I felt my eyes dropping so she said I could sleep whilst she was doing her washing and a bit of shopping. I eventually slept for like 2 or 3 hours, I needed it though since I had very little sleep the night before.

After eating, showering and being introduced to everyone we went out, as she wanted to show me the Eiffel Tower glittering at night. Ooh big deal Leona, Paul showed me the Pope, a glittery Eiffel tower means nothing to me. Nothing. It actually stopped glittering by the time we got there (more false promises, Leona?) Then we went for a walk along the Seine (sounds very romantic doesn’t it, but I assure you there is only one dirty lezza, and that is not me, and also Paris defo is not the city of love) and we went to see the tunnel where Princess Diana died. But whilst we were walking there, we seen a man on some steps to the subway. Didn’t think anything of it, but then we noticed he was doing a very bad thing that will make him go blind if he does it too much. Basically this guy was wearing a woolly jumper, without trousers or boxers but with trainers and socks. So what I wanna know is, did he leave his house dressed like this or did he get, like changed in a phone box-like Superman? Also he was having a good old wank with himself there. (Can I just say, as I was writing this, the word wank has been underlined in red, so out of curiosity I went to the spell checker to see what the other options were, and number 1 was wink. I really wish he would have been winking at me L) Ergh, horrible, horrible little man. I would say he was in his fifties. He was grinning away and he seemed to like it the angrier we got. He also seemed to like it if we gave him eye contact. Like I know, did I really wanna look in his eyes, but I didn’t know where else to look, if I looked the opposite way I would be looking at the tunnel that Princess Diana died in, if I look to the right I’m faced with a sexual deviant, so what do I do? I honestly am completely befuddled by this. I do not know how any man can get turned on by standing on some piss stinking steps, half naked in the freezing cold at night time, waiting to wank in front of young girls. And this guy was a professional as well, as he was dead vigilant; he knew when to emerge on the steps in front of us and he knew when to hide from the group of boys that were coming towards us, but there was no where for him to have gone, without them seeing him, but they didn’t see him, so I do not have a tiny’s where he went. Also, I do hate to actually say this, but considering the man was not very tall, it was absolutely masseeve. Honestly, so maybe he was just so proud and wanted to show it to the world? Well, don’t show it me please, save it for the little boys room. I just do not understand it?

Leona found it absolutely hilarious. I, on the other hand really did not. This sort of thing happens to me all the time. I don’t know why. I don’t know what kind of image I project out there that men just think they can treat me this way, and that’s what really upsets me. I’m the only one out of any of my friends that this sort of stuff happens to. And I know I sometimes don’t exactly keep myself to myself, so maybe I do ask for it. I dunno, but he well pissed me off. Who on earth does he think he is?! And I was wishing that there would be police near by (never is when you need them)so they would arrest him, and then where would he be without his pants. And you know what, he is probably someone’s husband and he probably has daughters, that’s what pisses me off, he will be someone quite respectable. Anyway, enough about him, he has wasted enough column inches in this blog, thank you very much.

Also Paris is fooking full of American’s. This time they pissed me off by standing behind me in the queue for the crepe van and kept asking for nootolla (nutella to me and you). Their accent was winding me up to fick. Then they came over to me and Leona and asked if we spoke English, and then, they had the cheek to come and ask me and Leona what we got on our crepe (mind you own fickin business you stupid frizzy-haired camel features with twat flap features on the side, stupid fucking whore)like how rude. Imagine me going up to an old lady in Market Street with her Tesco bags and asking her what she had bought today?! So we told them and they walked off and was laughing at us. Do they not realise that they are the ones who are the laughing stock-of the whole wide world. Horrible, horrible little nasty Americans.

Anyway, Friday. Leona went to work, and left me all on my own. But the cheeky bitch. Tells me I can at least have a lie in (at least one positive thing from Paris) then when she is getting ready she only goes and puts the light on! What kind of lie in is that woman. So when she left I tried to get back to sleep but I just couldn’t properly. I was supposed to meet her for lunch but I hadn’t even got ready by 11 and I still needed to wash my hair, so I just lounged around in her room, went on the internet for a bit etc. then I got the courage to venture out. I tried to go to the Latin Quarter and I got the underground all by myself and everything, but for the life of me I couldn’t work out where the Latin Quarter actually was. I followed my map to the letter, but sadly it was not to be, so I dandered around in the Souvenir shops for pressies, but the presents there were absolute shite. Everything had the Eiffel Tower on it. There was nothing really else. And the postcards were crap too :-( Anyhow, by this time it was time to go and meet her for finishing work, she told me again she would meet me in a certain place and at a certain time, but lo and behold, Leona was no where to be seen. I had time to chain smoke and to buy a drink from the paper shop before she even thought of showing her face. All the meanwhile, Paris was rapidly losing points (although it really couldn’t compete with the 500 points that Rome got, lets have it said!)

We ended up going to the Louvre. I was actually shocked when I seen the Louvre. It was quite a modern design for its times. I sound all studious, but I’m really not. Anyway, we gets inside and we walked for absolutely ages (or so it seemed) we eventually get to the Mona Lisa, and it was this piddlin little thing. She wasn’t even smiling [;-)] and plus Leona didn’t know the history of anything (unlike Paul, he is so clever, he knew every single thing about Rome))Anyway because Leona didn’t know the history of anything, I decided to get an audio guide. Well, that was a mistake! Leona in all her life had never used an audio guide. I actually find it hard to believe. Posh Leona didn’t know how to use an audio guide and common-as-muck me knew how to use one. Well she got carried away didn’t she. She didn’t get that you typed in the numbers-only when you see number next to a painting that is written on top of a bright red set of earphones. She just kept typing in random numbers. I had to repeat myself so much with her that night, I dunno how many times I said to her, only if you see the numbers within a red symbol. In the end she got the hang of it, but I was wiped out from the whole day and the whole trip, Leona is too much hard work to have a conversation with sometimes.

Anyway we decided to go home and get a Domino’s pizza and watch a DVD so I was absolutely fooked and Leona wanted me to go outside in the cold and get a pizza. I told her to phone one as she kept going on that they delivered it right to your bedroom, etc. This again was another lie to add to the list. She foned them but for some reason she couldn’t get them to come to deliver it. I told her to ask the security guard if he could speak on the phone on her behalf, but for some reason she thought I meant get them to phone from their phones, of course they weren’t going to do that. Anyway in the end I had to be dragged out as she told me it was only 5 mins away so I asked if she minded going by herself, apparently she did. But if she had come to visit me I would have ran around after her so much and if she asked me to I would have nipped out for food by myself, just for her, but obviously she has no manners!

We eventually get to domino’s pizza and they had just literally closed. Leona was begging them for ages in French to just cook us one pizza but they kept laughing at us. They kept telling us the place across the road will do take away pizzas, so after 15 mins of them reet losers we skidaddled across the road but that place was closing. Then Leona told me the only other place is dead far away and we would be walking for miles. But then lo and behold there was another place right next to us that was open (more lies) He was a sweet enough guy. Bit flirty berty with Leona mind you. Anyway we settled down for a night of Pizza and the first series of the office! Even though Leona didn’t want to watch this in the first place, although she said you pick whichever DVD you wanna watch, you’re the guest, it’s up to you, then whenever I made a suggestion she said no, but I eventually got my own way with the office ;-) (see Leona, I told you ALL of this would go in my blog, but you clearly didn’t believe me)
Saturday we pissed about a bit in the morning watching the office when we should have been getting ready (but Martin Freeman is well fit in the office)Anyway on the Saturday we managed to see the Eiffel Tower, Notre Dame, Sacre Cour the Moulin Rouge. There was still stuff I didn’t get to see. I didn’t get to see the Trocadero Fountain, as on Saturday it started piss pouring down with rain, it was freezing and we got soaked, so I wanted to do as much things inside as possible.

The Notre Dame was amazing. But sadly outside was an old woman who was homeless, clearly not on drugs or alcohol or anything like that. We walked past her when we came out of the church and was on our way to get a mulled wine and a crepe (how selfish do I feel now) after we had had our crepe, the lady was still there. So I chucked 10 euros in. And oh my god, she was so grateful, you really do not get anyone being so grateful like this in England. So I felt really bad for her as when I gave her the money she kept shaking my hand and saying thank you, and her hands were like blocks of ice. So walked past a shop that had gloves for 4 euros and a hats for about the same. I wanted to get her a woolly hat that had diamantes on to make her pretty but Leona thought it was best to get her a plain one. We went back and oh my god she was so grateful and happy, at least her hands won’t be cold, she must feel so much better. But the thing is they won’t keep her dry for long as when the rain gets in them they will just keep her cold again. My heart really does bleed for her.

Went out for food in the Latin Quarter, and if you ever go to Paris I would defo recommend you eat there. It was so lively, full of Greek restaurants that do the plate smashing, but in the end we settled for a Mexican restaurant. The food there was really nice and it had such a good atmosphere and they had guitarists and singers that were all Spanishy and stuff, it was absolutely amazing, and I got to use my Spanish there, which I was glad of, all this French I had been hearing all weekend and not understanding a word of it. I would defo recommend this restaurant. It’s called Tampico’s and it is in the Latin Quarter in Paris. Andit was way cool, the ash trays were half a cocnut shell, how mint is that?

Then came the drama on Sunday. Me and Leona had underestimated how long it would take us to get ready and get to the airport. We got the metro and I was panickin to fick. But we decided to get a taxi from the train station to the airport as we really didn’t have time. Got to the airport with 10 mins before check in closed. But as I explained earlier the airport is a nightmare and no way was I finding my check-in desk. Leona kept asking people where it was, they kept saying downstairs, but theye didn’t tell us how to get downstairs. Eventually got there with a few minutes to spare. Then came more drama. I had liquids in my bag but they were under 100 mls. But they were saying I had to put them in plastic bags and I was like I know the airport gives them to me, but then the lady was like no you need to buy them! Daylight Robbery, it really is. So then I faffed about having to open my suitcase and then close it again.

Then they told me gate number 7. So I made my way there, left Leona at what I thought was security. Then I see on the screen that it says gate number 78. so I panicked went to look for gate number 38. Got totally lost and confused, and in the end I found someone who worked there who showed me exactly where to go. Then they had to hurry me through security as they were about to close the doors, I beeped, got frisked, had to go through one gate, and then through another. The lady had a go at me saying I was holding the plane up so I said that I got lost and didn’t know where I was supposed to be going and she was like I explained to you exactly how your boarding pass worked. But Leona can verify for me that she didn’t. and I’m not being funny, but I do know how a boarding card works, but not when I have to go through 3 different gates all with different numbers on them and no one explains this to me, so I know what to expect. Stupid cow. Anyway run on the plane and oh my god, I was so embarrassed, the air steward was well fit and I run on all red faced and upset. I apologised explained about the plastic tunnels and that I wasn’t a hamster, etc. but you could tell they were only being nice because they had to :-( and when I spoke to him in Spanish he really didn’t understand what I was saying. But this is partly because I was flustered and because my ears had popped so I actually couldn’t hear what I was saying myself.

Nevermind, I got home ok-in the end. And when I got off the plane I had a well top surprise. My friend from school, we haven’t spoken in a year, mainly because we lost touch, and mainly because all my friends from school are still slightly scally so I always feel a bit out of place with them now. Anyway, she managed to get hold of my number and it turns out that she is 8 months preggers and she is due Feb 17th. She is having a girl called Sophie, so nice normal name. But feel a bit sorry for her, her boyfriend is currently residing at her majesty’s pleasure, so she will have to give birth alone. I think her mam will prob go though, she told me that everything is ine and her and the baby are fine and that she has had a really healthy pregnancy, so I hope everything stays that way for her.

Anyway I will skiddadle as I still have so much to say but I have actually written a novel today! I hope Leona “gets” what I have just written up there as it is very tongue-in-cheek, although I still haven’t forgiven her for calling me a diva.

Random Word of the Day: Exhibicionista= flasher (the dirty bastard, I’m still mad)
Total Word count for the day: 4371 words (oops sorry)

Right peeps, another epic on its way, as I haven’t written for a few days as I have been in ROME!!!!!

Well I will start on Thursday night. Got home and I was absolutely fooked I couldn’t be arsed packing, or cooking or eating, all I wanted to do was to sleep but I had too many things to be doing to be sleeping. Anyway Sonia was home, and she had broken up with Luís. I honestly thought it was for good this time, but I was so wrong (more about that later) so we chatted for ages and by ten I had still not eaten although I was starving so I made myself some rice thing that was dead quick. Then sat down instead of washing up or packing! Anyway Sonia went to bed, and there is a really good series on in Spain at the moment about a family in the 70’s. Anyway, thought I would watch that and then go pack-WRONG! I actually fell asleep and didn’t wake up til 2 in the morning, still unpacked and still not washed the pots L had to drag myself up, got packed and cleaned and everything, all I needed to do was put the last bits in like hair straighteners and toothbrush. This was at five in the morning when I had finished, and for some reason yet again I fell to sleep (narcolepsy) I didn’t end up waking up til half 7 and my flight was at 12:10, but I needed to get from my house to the train station, then from the train station to Valencia, which depending on which train you get it 1 hour- 1 ½ hours then its about half an hour on the bus from the train station in Valencia to the airport. So the check-in opened at 10 and closes forty minutes before your flight so that was 11:30 at the latest I should have got there.

Anyway, there were 3 possible trains I could have got. The 8:20 would have got me to the airport (including bus ride) for 10 when the check in opened. The next one 8:55 would have got me to the airport for half ten, and then I would have had time to wander round the shops and smoke, get something to eat, as I clearly didn’t have time for breakfast, etc. and the last one was 9:20 which would have got me to Valencia train station for half ten, but then I would still need to get the bus, but they are every half hour so I would be cutting it fine. Well I ended up defo missing the first train, so I managed to get ready in time for the middle train, which really was the best one as then I didn’t have too much time to wait in between check-in and boarding. So I phoned a taxi and then waited, it ended up coming when I had 10 minutes spare to get the middle train, and the train station is at least 15 mins away in a taxi without traffic. Fooking great, but for some reason I still thought I could do it, but no! I ended up having to get the 9:20 one, but we didn’t get into Valencia until 10:40, bearing in mind my check in closed at half 11. I ended up having to get a taxi. The taxi actually wasn’t too bad it only took 15 mins so he was a pretty decent taxi driver and we was having a good old little chat, so we were.

Anyway, gets to my check-in at 11:10 and the queue was absolutely huge, although it was full of Italian and Spanish men, so I wasn’t too bothered, it was just good to see the two nations coming together as one, and then an English girl as well! ;-) Also, Vueling Airlines check in desks are right next to Ryanair and I saw the absolutely most gorgeous boy I have ever seen in my life. And he was well staring at me as well. I fly with them when I go to Paris so hopefully he will be on. And I’m gonna ask him if he is coming with us as well! And if he says no I’ll be like well you know where I am and then wink. I know that sounds gay, and I don’t mean to say or do stuff like that, it just comes out! Lol!

Anyway I didn’t end up checking in until 11:45! And my suitcase was 5kg over but the man said he would make me a discount because I was beautiful so I only had to pay for two. I wouldn’t mind but with Ryanair you are only allowed 15kg so I don’t think 20 kg for 4 days is too bad… I think it was my shoes and toiletries. I’m sorry but I don’t have children or a boyfriend so I need something to fill the void in my life, and it is shoes and handbags! Anyway because we checked in late the flight was late, I arrived an hour later than planned. Pauli was there to meet me! That bit was mint as I hate flying on my own as people always look at you as if you are a billy no mates going on holiday on your own, so when they see me get picked up I don’t feel as much like a loser.

Rome what can I say? I absolutely loved it, although I tried not to as my mother went like three years ago and that is all she has talked about non-stop and how great it was so I wanted to play it down a bit, but no way can I. I think it was all the better with it being Paul who was there as he has lived there for five months now and has done the whole tour thing like 3 times before so he knows exactly what he is doing and what he is talking about, so it was like getting my own very private tour guide. The Friday we didn’t do much since my plane arrived late. By the time we got from Ciampino to his neighbourhood, we had to go shopping and then get something to eat, have showers and get ready to go out, etc.

So knowing what Spain is like for getting dressed up and going out (not!) I wore my skinny jeans and my t-shirt with round-toed heels-big mistake!

1) Italy is made out of cobbled streets and even though my heels were not stiletto, and quite thick they still continued to get stuck in between the cobbles so I just felt so embarrassed all the time and people were clearly laughing at me as I had to get Paul to help me lift out my shoes as there was no way I could do it myself-they were stuck fast!

2) No one at all was wearing heels. We ended up meeting one of Paul’s friends and they were all wearing jumpers and winter woollies and trainers to go drinking ;-( So I felt like a slapper especially since no one was dressed up and no one really does dress up to go out drinking, even though I wasn’t wearing anything revealing it was a t-shirt that came up to my neck.

That’s another thing about Italy as well. You really have to watch what you wear as bearing flesh is really frowned upon and really offensive to the Italians, it seriously is a bit like being stuck in the olden days, with Mussolini still at the helm of power, as still women are quite unequal and they are exceptionally racist, (although they love their black gangsta rap, which to me is a bit hypocritical) So really if you go to Italy-DO NOT BARE FLESH!!!!!

Anyway the night was pretty much quiet, although we did end up meeting a friend of ours who studies Italian with us, she is from Murcia so was speaking Spanish to her all night-instead of practicing my Italian (“~) My Italian is actually quite bad, I really struggled in Rome, so I need to start revising all of that again as I haven’t spoken Italian since like may or June time, and I only have five weeks before I leave (or fall to pieces, lets see shall we!) so it really isn’t a lot of time, Paul said I will pick it up once I get here but I’m not so sure.

Anyway, on the Saturday we had to get up early (yawn (``.)zZzZ) although Saturday was absolutely mint! We went to the coliseum. It doesn’t actually look all the big from the outside, but man alive! It is fooking huge! And it was used for naval battles as well as for fighting with animals or other gladiators. It could have seated up to something like 6000 people. And the further up your seat the lower down your social class, and the women sat in separate sections to the men and the games were completely free for any citizen! Once inside it is absolutely huge. I am actually amazed that something that was built not that long after Jesus was born (well in like 600 AD, but in the timescale of life, that is absolutely nothing) is still standing today, and you really can imagine all the things that took place. Who knew Roman ruins could be so exciting?! AND, best of all, we managed to get a Japanese tourist to take mine and Paul’s photo! I fooking love them guys, all click happy with their cameras like me! Then we went to the Pantheon, which is like the oldest church in Rome that was built around the same time as the coliseum. There is something like special about the dome that its diameter is exactly the same as the width of the building, thus being able to fit a perfect sphere inside with millimetres to spare (whoever works this out is a geek!) Also there is a hole in the roof as that was meant to bring them closer to the Roman gods (not Greek you stupid American twat flap, piss featured bitch! Slag whore slut cunt, you vaginal blood bubble melanoma horror-inducing-just by looking at your face you think you are so cultured but you are not cos mummy and daddy pays for everything, get a proper education and stop being a pussy arsed THICK BITCH! We are in Rome-which incidentally in case you didn’t know is in Italy, why on earth would they prey to greek gods or whatever, as you put it, exactly word for word. Do you not realise Greece is a separate country you evil whore slut? You whore faced bitch)(as you can see, I’m not a fan of the Americans, in fact I lost my temper several times with them over the weekend, who on earth do they think they are, and they have the shittest accent in the world %&$#* Sorry I’m going to continue this later as I am so angry, I need to go smoke!

Anyway, after that we went to the Spanish steps and the Trevi fountain. I threw a coin in so hopefully I will return to Rome and my wish will come true, I can’t tell you what it is as then it won’t come true!

There are shit loads of steps in Rome so my legs are absolutely killing me! I suppose since I am now smoking 20 a day it helps with exercise. Also it is illegal to smoke in public places in Italy so I’m a bit fooked, but I think that it is better as it might help me to stop, and they are more expensive than Spain and since I’m not working I won’t be able to afford them as readily as Spain.

On the Sunday (this is the best part!) I saw the Pope! Even though I’m not Catholic that is pretty amazing. You can’t really see on the photos as he was quite far away and my zoom didn’t zoom that far. We went into the Vatican and climbed all the way to the top. It was really disorientating though just a continuous spiral without an end I got dizzy and a bit nauseas; it was even worse coming down the stairs as I have a fear of walking down stairs! We also went to the tombs of the Popes. They have to have three security guards guarding John Paul II tomb, as everyone loved him so much they all wanna touch it and kiss it and lie down and sleep on it and stuff. And we went to the tomb of the Unknown Soldier and they have Swiss guards who are supposed to be like the queen’s guards and never move, but one (who by the way was fit as fook!) was flirting away with me!

On the Monday we went to the Vatican museums. That was pretty cool as well as I got to see the Sistine chapel. You are not supposed to take pictures, but I took the flash off my camera and there were only two guards and everyone was taking pictures and they were powerless to do anything as there was more of them than us!

And the men in Italy are seriously the fittest I have ever seen in my life! And they was all flirting, of course I only went for the security guards or the police ;-) Paul was so ashamed of me, especially since everyone thought we was boyfriend and girlfriend and they didn’t give a tiny’s as to his feelings, so that has made me wanna live in Italy, purely for the men!

Also Rome is full of Romanian gypsies. They are a horrible horrible race of people-seriously. They pickpocket tourists. I held my bag on my front like a baby on the met and kept hold of the zip walking round. I even saw someone get pick-pocketed but you can’t say anything as the mafia controls the gypsies and if you say anything then you have problems, so me and Paul had to sit there and watch people get pick-pocketed. I felt so guilty and I still do. And the Romanian gypsies really do not give a shit about their kids-at all. They only have children for financial gain. They teach them to steal so when they are still under the legal age to prosecute they know that police can’t do anything. And when they are over the legal age, they will prostitute them out. Either that or when they are really young children they will sell their children to the mafia who then in turn sell the children to paedophiles. They really are horrible little people. Headscarves and long gypsy clothes, ergh. When I was first on the met, two of them got on behind me so Paul was like watch your bag. So I was there grabbing it and I could feel them pushing around behind me bumping into me. Paul said they pretend it is busy so that they have to bang into you and then while they bang into you their hands are in your pockets. So they probably had their hands in my pockets but I didn’t feel a thing, which is the scary part, they are that good you cant feel their hands in the pockets of a thin jacket. Anyway all I had in my pockets were snotty tissues and sweet wrappers from the plane. No way would I let them take my bag, dirty thieving scum- get a real job. We are going to get this in England now Romania has become part of the EU so people watch out.

I didn’t feel sad to leave Paul this time as he only has 10 days left so its not that bad, although he has had such a terrible time there and he never phoned me once or complained he just got on with it. And his house really isn’t that nice. The bath was black when it should have been white and his house is damp and dark and he pays 400 euros. But he said it is really difficult to find anywhere to live in Rome if you are a boy as everyone wants girls and all the other one’s he saw were the same or worse but more expensive and further out from the city centre so that was the best out of the lot that he had seen. Poor Paul, I hope Germany is a lot better for him. But I think he is amazing he has got on with it and still gone out and done stuff every weekend, so well done to him. And despite the house I had a really good time in Rome. Leona really needs to go out of her way in Paris for me as Paul showed me the Pope! She needs to top that. She told me she will propose to me on the top of the Eiffel Tower on Friday night. Dirty lezza!

Also When I came home on the Sunday night Luís was there. I’ve given up. I really have. I only have 5 weeks left to put up with it I suppose L

Anyway offski’s now as I need to prepare for Paris!!!

Random word of the day: Tragasable= Sword swallower

Total word count for the day: 2912 ( I promise the entries for Paris will be a lot shorter as Leona has a computer, so hopefully I will be able to do it daily, and I will try to put photos on there too!)

Well peeps, as I started writing this an argument has broken out in the office between two men Fuster and Carlos, so lets hope I get my money’s worth and see a fight! They keep saying “it’s your problem not mine” and “do you want me to repeat again” Well funny, it has actually died down now, but there will be bad feelings for a while. So we will see how the situation pans out! I love it when things like this happen in work; brightens my day right up!

Also I have to mention that my friend Vanessa from work, her boyfriend is an absolute star! Although she has been a star this week, she gave me a lift home twice in the absence of Gemma, but her boyfriend seriously is a doll. Like yesterday I waffled on about my problem of getting to the airport on time etc., well I was waffling on to Vanessa and her boyfriend about it in the car on the way home yesterday and her boyfriend said he would pick me up and take me. He hardly knows me so why on earth he would do that for me I will never know. Not going to turn that offer down though, that means I get to stay in my own bed on the Weds and pack slowly so I don’t forget stuff.

I have to remember to take Leona’s Christmas present as I really couldn’t be arsed sending it as it was too big and I was going to take it home for Xmas and give it to her then but it had disappeared, no idea where it went, but when I got back home after Christmas it was there all ready and waiting on my bed, sorry mate you missed the flight by a week. But then mysteriously when I went to go get it to put it in a safe rememberable (I know its not a word but I couldn't think of anything else more suitable you see ;-)) place, it had gone again! I think I bought her a magic present I really do, and I can’t give too much away as she reads this (she is a loyal fan UNLIKE YOU LEANNE DONNELLY AND PAUL SCOTT!!!!!)but when she sees it she might understand why it is magic and why it keeps going for wanders. I actually think the present is a bit crap now, but you know when you see something and immediately think of someone? Well, that’s why I bought the present I immediately saw Leona wetting herself, although she does laugh at thin air, so maybe I should have just bought her an empty jar.

Although I’m slightly miffed with Leona at the moment. She isn’t taking any days off work when I go to Paris so I’m only going to see her for a day as I leave really early on the Sunday morning. I know she can’t get any paid time off but take it unpaid, work through all your lunch breaks, come in an hour early and stay an hour later for the same amount of hours, that’s what I would do if she came to visit me, I would take it unpaid or I would phone in sick, so I think she should phone in sick, as I arrive at Paris airport for half 10, and originally Cody was going to pick me up from the airport, but he was supposed to have gone to Madrid on the 8th of Jan, but hasn’t so he doesn’t know whether he will be there or not. If he is there happy days if not, I will be left stranded in Paris airport from half ten in the morning until Leona finishes work which is like 7 so then lets say she gets to the airport for 8 that would be 9 and a half hours waiting time in the airport for her to finish as I don’t speak a word of French or have a tiny rats where Leona lives or how to get there and don’t have a key so what the fook am I meant to do all day with my suitcase and hand luggage.

Then what will I be doing on the Friday whilst she is at work. I’m clearly not about to go off on my jollies round Paris on my bill when I don’t have a clue where I am going, speak the language or anything. I know plenty of people go to places where they don’t know the language or where they are going, but they will have read information, got guidebooks and maps, etc and I really do not have the time to sit and study these such things, and I haven’t bothered as I presumed that Leona would be there. So really that only leaves Saturday to see her. Not much is it when she will be in taking two years for her year abroad instead of one. Then when she eventually does her final year, I’m hoping to move back to Spain and Italy, whichever one I loved the most and/or need to improve my language in. so I’m partly pissed off about that as we will only have a few days here and there to see each other, and I make the effort to come all the way to Paris when I’m seriously living on the breadline out here (well I’m not I’m actually very comfortable, I just need to save whatever money I earn for when I study in Italy as I will have no income at all then) and Leona has all this money coming in from here there and everywhere and she doesn’t take two days off for me.

So if Cody is there then great we will have a ball and we can go to the Moulin Rouge together and h can recreate his famous Moulin rouge presentation that went on for half an hour and still wasn’t finished! But if they say he has to go to Madrid immediately then he won’t be there and I will be fooked. Although I don’t think they will make him go to Madrid so soon as they only told him a few days before Xmas that he has to be in Madrid for the 8th which wasn’t really fair and plus he still has his exams to do in Paris or else he won’t get his credits for his year abroad which will have serious impacts on his degree, unless the uni at our end agrees he doesn’t have to do his exams, I dunno, but he is only missing out on an intensive course that determines his level of language, and Leanne didn’t do hers they just put her in any old class, so I’m sure if Cody explains his situation then they will do the same for him as the term doesn’t start till like February or something.

Also Sonia came home last night-without Luís, talking in riddles like how she is seeing things a lot more clearly now. Anyway I eventually got it out of her what she meant. She was of course talking about Luís. She was saying she is starting to be fed up with him now. As he came to meet her for lunch yesterday, she has two hours and normally she comes home, but he went all the way to the Grau. So they go to a really nice restaurant he says he isn’t hungry, but still orders a load of plates and makes her pay for them. He didn’t eat a single thing that he ordered, got off after an hour whilst she was still eating and left her as he said he was going to go climbing. He came back just before she was meant to back into work stinking to high heaven of alcohol. So she was really pissed off about that. She is pissed off that he never ever smiles about anything ever, he is always in a bad mood. And yesterday she had a funeral to go to, someone form work but she was quite upset, and all he was bothered about was drinking and being in a bad mood and didn’t give her any comfort at all what-so-ever so all this over these past days has pissed her off. But I hope she doesn’t sit down and talk to him about it as he always tells her sorry and that he will change and she believes him but he never does so she sits down and has another heart to heart, one big vicious cycle. She should just break it off immediately with him, once and for all, and she knows she should as well, I just wish she would actually do it.

Oh and big news of the day- Caroline has died her hair brown instead of blonde. I think it looks so much better now as the blonde she had in her hair before was too light for the brown of her original colour. I think if she is going to blonde again she should go for golden blondes and caramel blondes. Plus now she has it a nice warm brown colour so she instantly has added colour to her face, she doesn’t look as pale now. I still do though L

Oh and my telephone is working perfectly well now, I have the sound back so my ringtones don’t sound shit no more! The only thing is the charger and battery are a bit iffy, but I suppose I could live with that, the condensation made it look cheap and tacky and like I had a shit phone, but I got rid of that last night as I took my hairdryer to it, I dunno why I didn’t think of that before!

Random word of the day: suspensorio= jockstrap!

Total word count of the day: 1650 words

I’ve been in a bad mood all week, and I knew why it was:
1. I was due on my period (well it’s 3 weeks late actually, but for defo I knew I wasn’t preggers so I knew it was coming soon) so had really bad PMT
2. I knew why I was three weeks late. He who be above in heaven decided it would be fun to make me have it when I’m going to Rome. I wouldn’t have minded so much in Paris as I would be with Leona, and this is really girly stuff, that I would rather not have to endure with Paul.

Also there has been a study done that says when girls live together their body clocks go in sync which is what has happened with me and Sonia, so I reckon my body was just waiting for hers and that’s why I was so late as well. What a fookin bitch. I really can’t enjoy Rome now.

Also when I got home last night Luís was in my house. And as per usual when he is there my house stinks of his unwashed smell. But he was bein a right cheeky twat, didn’t let on to me, or speak to me the whole time I was there, I wasn’t letting on to him, it’s my house, I pay the rent there not him, he just comes here for the free alcohol and food, which incidentally by the way, he ate all my food and was drinking one of my beers that Sonia had to buy me because he drank all my other beers. Also I was in a bad mood anyway, and if I want to be in a bad mood in my own house then I will be. I keep on speaking to Sonia but it goes in one ear and out of the other. So I might track down a mini fridge to put all my beer in because I really can’t afford to keep him in the alcohol. So I’m really going to have to be strict when I say it this time that if he wants to come to our house and drink, then that’s fine but I will not pay a single penny more for it.

Also I didn’t realise that my flight to Paris was at 8:30 in the morning. The first train is at 5:55 and will get me to Valencia train station at 6:53. Normally from here I take the bus, which is about 20-30 mins. But I think that at this time of the morning there will be loads of traffic, as people will be trying to get to work and also I’m not sure what times the busses are but say I get to the bus stop for 7 then say it takes 30 mins I will get to the airport with 20 mins to check in, but then I need to find my check in desk etc. So I’ve decided that it isn’t a good idea to get the bus so I need to get a taxi instead, but like I say the traffic is a problem, and also I don’t have any taxi numbers for Valencia so I would have to wait for one and say there is none at the train station at that time of the morning, I’m a little bit fooked. So I’ve been trying to find a cheap hotel, but the whole Paris thing is turning out to be expensive as now I have to find a hotel, I tried finding a youth hostel but there are no single rooms in the whole of Valencia so I would have to go into a shared dorm, which normally wouldn’t be a problem, but since I should ideally be at the airport for half six when check in opens to get the best seats etc then I would have to get up super early to ensure that I can take a taxi in time then I would be waking everyone else up and also would have to get dressed in the dark, etc.

So I need to look for a hotel that is cheap, I’ve seen a few but the thing is, I finish work at 6 in the evening then I would need to go home and pack, then I would need to get to Valencia in the first place so then I will be in Valencia really late, but the last train to Valencia is at half ten so I have like four and a half hours to get home, pack then get to the train station, so that’s not a worry, but I would arrive in Valencia at 23:37, so lets say I find a hotel close to he train station, I would be checking in at midnight to leave the hotel at six in the morning so I need something that is super cheap as I’m not paying loads for just a few hours.

I defo need to pack on the Wednesday night as I arrive back from Rome on the Monday night at 9 then will probably be back in Castellón for 11, so that in itself is going to be a worry as that is the journey that Paul did when he came, but he didn’t have a suitcase that he had to wait for in baggage claim, although his flight arrived early so I hope that mine will arrive half an hour early too as that gives me half an hour to get my baggage. And the last train is at 10:35 so hopefully I should make it L

I haven’t really planned this all that well really have I?

So I arrive back at my house no later than midnight, I will have to put all my stuff in to wash, and then get up early to hang it out to dry (times like these when I miss the good old tumble dryer, I would even risk shrinkage for this L) so I’ll give it two days to dry and then it will be lifted straight off the maiden and into my suitcase, I’m only going to unpack my clothes, stuff like my shoes and handbags and my jacket, makeup, etc will just have to stay there I’m afraid, I really do not have the ganas to unpack just to pack it all again.

I had to buy myself a scarf and gloves from El Corte Inglés for Rome and Paris, I bet in Paris it is super cold, Paul was once again indecisive about the weather in Rome, he said defiantly bring a jacket so I’m not sure if I should take warm things or not. It is no way near cold here. Its like when we get our nice warm spring days when we know that summer is coming and we can stop wearing our jackets. Was watching the news last night you see and they were saying that there is a heat wave somewhere in Spain and that people are sunbathing on the beaches and stuff. It isn’t that hot here, its just gloriously warm and I’m walking about in short sleeves with out jacket and with my ballet pumps minus socks, so you can get an idea of how warm it is here. Apparently it’s unusual and January and February are the coldest months in Spain, meant to be minus temperatures, although its about 15º at the moment but with a nice warm breeze, me and Oscar were discussing this and we think it might be something to do with el niño so correct us if we are wrong please!

Also I don’t think Paul has a computer so I will not write for a few days, although I should maybe use my travel journals for the trips to Paris and Rome as I did buy them for Italy and Spain, but I really can’t be arsed to write in them, I think I will print off my blog and just stick them in, that might be better!

I dunno I’m really worried about how I’m going to get between Rome and Paris. I should have booked the two days off work in between and then got a hotel in Valencia for two nights, that would have been so less stressful. In fact… I might just ask, although I don’t want to push my luck. The people in my office are saying I can’t have these holidays as paid because we all had two weeks off at Christmas as the whole place was shut, so that’s hardly my fault really is it. But if I can’t get these days off paid and they are unpaid then I will ask for them two days off, it’s saving them shit loads of money, well not shit loads, but you know.

I am going to go now as I think that I have waffled on for far too long about well, nothing really, although I will mention that it doesn’t feel like I’m going to Rome in less than 48 hours. I am so excited Rome is like one of THE places to visit and in total I’ve only paid 30 euros for the whole trip, that was for a return flight and my accommodation is free, so I’ve been quite lucky in that respect although can anyone tell me what on earth the deal is with having to pay a baggage fee for each bag that you check in with Ryanair, even if it is not over the limit? Daylight and robbery seem o spring to mind. Aww bless Paul said he was going to cook for me. He is working for free and only has his student loan to live off and Rome is expensive, etc, so he hasn’t really had the money to eat properly, literally everyday since he has been there he has eaten pasta with pesto as it is dirt cheap, so he just e-mailed me asking if it’s ok if we have pasta with pesto, broccoli, breaded turkey and mushrooms. I told him not to be so stupid, don’t you dare feed me fungus, I detest mushrooms, horrid little creatures they are, Ergh. I think I will treat him to some stuff in the supermarket. Like the cheapest meal I make is roasted peppers, courgette, cherry tomatoes and onions with a tomato sauce and you have instant vegetarian Bolognese, so surely he could afford something like that? I dunno, I might treat him to some actual meat, and I’m sure we could find a restaurant to go to that’s quite cheap. I told him he should get in contact with Tina’s nephew who met him once in September and then has ignored him since (I’m so gonna have words with him) as surely Tina’s nephew will know where are the best places to go for us that are cheap and good!

Anyway I told you all half an hour ago that I would go, so I’m definitely going to go now, as I should get on with some work really shouldn’t I?

Oh, P.S My phone is working perfectly now, still got condensation in the screen and it is a bit temperamental with its charging and the battery seems to be going quicker than usual and the ringtones and speaker voice are still quiet and a bit tinny but I have faith it will be working again like before, well I’m only opeful about the condensation and the sound, I think the battery will forever have a short shelf life now! Might be time to buy a new one L

Random word of the day: Con una sola pierna= one legged!
Total word count of the day: 1954